Grieving Voices
Grieving Voices
Amanda Popovski | Shedding The Old Self and Thriving as an Empath (HSP)
I'm excited to share this episode with Amanda Popovski, in which we discuss everything related to being an empath or highly sensitive person (HSP).
I could feel the energy behind the words Amanda used in her application, and the synergy I felt with her was one of being a kindred spirit. Sometimes, there are people in this world you click with, and it was refreshing not only to be and feel seen by Amanda but, more importantly, I hope she felt seen by me as well.
This episode is a masterclass of sorts for empaths (HSPs). We discuss everything from personal growth and evolution as an empath (HSP), the energetics of what it means to be an empath (HSP), how it shows up in our lives, the challenges we face as empaths (HSPs) in a world that isn't exactly fully accepting of us deeply feeling and emotional beings, and how we can leverage this energy as our superpower.
From childhood experiences as an empath (HSP), leaving corporate (against her family's wishes), people-pleasing, entrepreneurship, dating, friendships, and everything in between, I hope you feel seen in this episode, if you find, like myself and Amanda, where being an empath (HSP) has just seemed to feel like a cruel curse at times.
This is a love note from Amanda and me to all empaths and HSPs.
Dear fellow empaths/HSPs,
You are a powerful and necessary force that is deeply needed in the fabric of humanity. 💛
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Victoria Volk: Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of Grieving Voices, which I am highly excited about because I'm a highly sensitive person and my guest who is joining me is also a highly sensitive person in Empath. If I could find her bio. I will read it for you here in two shakes of a lamb's tail. Let's go. Alright. So Amanda, oh, I even practice this. Amanda Popovski.
Amanda Popovski: Yes. Popovski. You got it. Popovski.
Victoria Volk: Yes. Popovski. You gotta say it like, Popovski. Yeah. Alright. It's Macedonian,
Amanda Popovski: so it's very, like, very like Eastern European, a lot of conviction.
Victoria Volk: Popovski. You got it. Alright. So now that we've got her name straight, she is a life and business coach for women. And through her action awakening process, she's helped dozens of women go from overwhelmed and overthinking to taking great action and creating discipline that works, so they can grow their business and shine. Going from a Spanish degree to forming her own digital marketing agency to combining the corporate climbing the corporate ladder and finally taking the leap into her coaching business, Amanda has had her fair share of life transitions and has grieved her past self in each and every one of them. She's here today to share more about the sensitive side of coaching and personal development as a highly sensitive person and path an overall emotional creature. Based in Buffalo, New York, Land of the Chicken Wing, she enjoys cuddling up with a good book, meditating and trying new recipes in her free time. And thank you so much for bringing your energy and your story to the podcast today. I as we briefly shared with each other before we started recording, I'm excited to have you on because there's a lot of impasse and highly sensitive people that listen to this podcast because I am one and I speak to that. I have content on my website that is about that. And doing energy healing work, that's a lot of the clients that come to me are also highly sensitive themselves. And so I'm really excited to start there in your story because I know how shitty my childhood was and the grief that came with it just being a highly sensitive empathic person, there are so many pictures of me. And I don't have a lot. Like, all of my childhood pictures fit in a sandwich ziplock bag and if not like like this thick of a snack. And so there isn't a lot of pictures of me, but the ones there are, there's a lot of me sleeping. Random times of day, like, middle of the day, missing birthday parties because I'm fully clothed with my shoes on. I fell asleep on my bed and missed the birthday party. And, you know, so I'm curious to start there with your story and how what your childhood was like, being an empath and highly sensitive person.
Amanda Popovski: Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, first of all, obviously, thank you so much for having me on. I'm really really excited to talk to you and to hopefully share some wisdom that I've gained in this process for your HSPs and your empaths. My childhood, it's funny I work with my inner child a lot, but I don't really reflect on my childhood too often. And I've noticed with other highly sensitive people that sometimes we just can't remember. Like, there's maybe some emotional overload or something that we're just like, oh, yeah, my childhood is good and then move on to present day, at least that's how I operate. But I very distinctly remember feeling super different from a young age, like deep down knowing that I was different and not really knowing what to do with that information. Like, I can distinctly remember being in student council and drama club and, like, doing all the things in high school. And even though I felt like I had a group of friends and I felt like I belonged somewhere, I still felt like I did not belong. Like I was this old soul, this indigo child, this person that was just really doing a lot of observing, and picking up on things, I remember I do remember kind of a super cool trick that empaths have is to be able to read between the lines and understand what people are saying without saying it. So my parents would be like in an argument or whatever, passive aggressive at each other. And in my head, I was like, it's so obvious. Dad wants this and mom wants this. Why are they telling each other? And, you know, it wasn't until recently that I started to use my throat chakra and actually start to speak out loud about these feelings and sensations that I had. And that's kind of what coincided with the whole, like, food thing that we're gonna hopefully talk about PMD, all of that. So I would say that my experience was lonely. It was I found a lot of solace in myself I found a lot of solace in my books. I found a lot of solace like rolling these huge ideas around in my head that no child probably should ever have to think about or want to think about. About the state of the world and why things are the way that they are. And for a long time, I saw my empathy as, like, this burden. Like I would speak to the universe very often, especially in my early twenties, and be like shouting at the moon, like why did you make me this way? I can't stand it. Why can't I just be normal? Why do I have to be different? Now luckily, I and you, I'm sure, have come to embrace the superpowers that empathy and high sensitivity gives you, but only with the introduction of very strong boundaries.
Victoria Volk: You I thought you were gonna use use the word that I use, like empathy, like, you know, highly sensitive person empathic is a curse because I felt like it was a curse for me.
Amanda Popovski: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How so?
Victoria Volk: It's like, why do I have to feel things so deeply all the time? And it makes people perceive you as neurotic. Like, people would feel like people would, like, Why are you so sensitive and just get over it? And why do you read into things? It's like reading between the lines, but it's like, it's No. This Like, I know now. I'm not reading into things. I'm reading between the lines. On connecting dots that you're not seeing. And but it comes off to other people as not insightful. No. We don't come off as insightful. And wise, So, yeah, it was definitely a curse. And and it was like, you know, why do I have to be this way? So I I yeah.
Like, kindred spirits. Yes.
Amanda Popovski: Alright. I super resonating with that actually, especially with PMDD, which is the experience it's called premenstrual, dysmorpheric disorder, and it's basically PMS on steroids, where the week before your period you just feel like a completely different person. Like, I'm, you know, I'm a bubbly person. I'm a happy person. But on the inside, it's a little bit of torture. And so I can really relate to feeling super emotional all the time and having people not really understand and even in my relationships. Currently, sometimes it feels difficult to be like, how are you not experiencing all of the things that I'm experiencing? And what I love about what you said is that we're reading between the lines, yes, but we're reading the energy, really. Mhmm. It's what we're reading. And that's the stuff that most people think is between the lines or can't really perceive. But we have this beautiful gift of being able to read and interpret a language that is really the whole creative spirit of the universe. It's really cool. It's a blessing. I think after all this time. I think
Victoria Volk: Yeah. In hindsight. Yeah. Yeah. You can talk about after we've implemented boundaries. Right? Which we will get to. But I just wanna share just because it's at the forefront of my mind when you talked about PMDD because I haven't been personally diagnosed with that, but just how you described it, like, oh, yeah, maybe that's been my issue. And because I would just turn into this like, oh, anger, snappy, brain fog, like, all these things, but I'm gonna share something with you because I'm, like, in the perimenopause and that then that just adds another layer to things. Right? But I was listening to a podcast with Dr. Stacy Sims on Huberman Lab and it's an excellent episode on Perry Menopause and Menopause, Women in Health, and Fitness, and all of that. And one thing that she suggested or shared with listeners was a supplement called DIM, d I m, two hundred milligrams a day. And I thought, you know what, what the heck? I'll try it. It's especially helpful for women who are estrogen dominant. And I I have been on this now. I have not shared publicly in my newsletter, which I plan to this next newsletter because I want to give it a full month. I've been on it a full month. And they are legitly a game changer. Have been for me? Yes. It's like And it's literally like a crap ton of broccoli and cauliflower in a little pill. It's unrealistic. It's natural, but it helps your body excrete excess estrogen. And I tell you what, I've been more productive in this past month than I have in several months and my mood Definitely. My mood, they are my happy pills. I'm legitimately there. My happy pills. This is not a sponsorship episode. This is not an affiliation or anything. I'm legitimately sharing what is been the biggest game changer for me. I am ever so grateful for her for sharing that. I've shared it with my friends. People that I'm, you know, know and love who, you know, what it's that it's working for me. And it's definitely really helped me. And, you know, this is after, like, going through a cycle now and another yeah. So it's been a full month. And I'm hooked. I'm hooked. So
Amanda Popovski: any little bit helps, I think. Yeah. But it's simply that it's natural. That's so beautiful.
Victoria Volk: I know. I know. Yeah. So anyway, not to derail what you were talking about. But yes, it's like all these different layers of of And then you get to that period, menopause, menopause, and it's like, as a highly sensitive person, buckle up.
Amanda Popovski: So I've heard.
Victoria Volk: So I Yeah. So how did, like, now as an adult, like, how what did how did the boundaries come about for you then? And how did that then shift dynamics and relationships? Because I know what implementing boundaries did to some of my relationships, which it can friends just really kind of fade in the background when you when you start to, you know, use your throat chakra. Right? And speaking up and using your voice for the first time often because as empaths and highly sensitive people we're often taken advantage of, you know, our emotionally responsive energies can, you know, people not everybody can sit with people in their deepest pain. And so we are very good at that, but it can also be very draining on us if we're not looking at our own energy and managing our own energy. And energy healing work has been huge for me in that regard as well as boundaries. So what did that look like for you?
Amanda Popovski: Well, the first thing that came to my mind while you were talking about this is that as empaths, we are chameleons. So we if if anybody is not an empath, basically what it means is that what the other person is feeling, you viscerally feeling your body. It's like It's like they're kind of their energy overtakes your energy. You're kind of thinking what they're thinking. You're feeling what they're feeling. And in hindsight, I think the power of us is not to be chameleons. But to be like a gazelle, like something beautiful that's sitting there peacefully listening, but then goes around and treats us around really beautifully and like sends their sparkle of everywhere. So my chameleoning really came to an end or was highly influenced by the first self help book I ever read, which was you are a badass by Gencicero, and it actually kick started my entire coaching career and everything that I would go on to do. But something in me clicked and I realized that I had a purpose that was so much greater than like a ninth five or a box or something. And I was like, yeah, I'm made for more and that's really important to me and I need to figure out what the heck that more is in my lifetime. So I started the self development journey as I'm sure many of your people are on. And I had always heard the word boundaries. They sounded kind of harsh to me. They sounded like something that only highly aggressive or action take any people would set. I was like, I don't need to set boundaries, whatever. But I noticed that the more that I tuned into the fact that I was an energetic channel and that sometimes that energy did not make me feel good. I was like, no. No. No. I I can't be a part of that because I have a big purpose. So it was less about Over time, it has become less about hurting other people's feelings and more seeing boundaries as a sign of self respect and reflecting on the fact that boundary people, resourced people in my life are some of the coolest people that I look up to so much. And recognizing that when they set a boundary with me, I feel safe. And when I set a boundary with someone else as difficult as it is, I feel safe too. So it's funny you bring up friends because I remember the first major friend breakup I had was so painful for me. It was so hard. I leaned into the self development books. I was like, okay. Yeah. This person is an energy vampire. I gotta get him out, blah blah blah. But then to sit down and have that conversation, again, it's like that person's energy overtakes your body. And so What I had to learn to do really was follow my intuition very deeply. And if my intuition, that little voice in the back of my head was still like, you gotta let her go, then I would follow through on that and trust that I was held in that decision. Trying to think of the first time that I set a boundary and what that might have been or felt like. Yeah. The first time I set a boundary was actually breaking up with my boyfriend very shortly after I read that self development book. And on paper, he was perfect. Our relationship was perfect, but I remember feeling energetically in my body, like, this isn't right. I don't think I wanna be with him. I don't think I'm going to marry him long term. And so I've noticed that once I've set those boundaries with people and with things in my life like food, social media, all of these things, I'm a better person which makes the people that stick around so much better because my energy is so golden and nourishing, like you said, to the people around me. In order for me to be the best Amanda for me and for others, I need to have some really strong energetic containers around me so that I don't fizzle out because especially if any of your listeners or you know about work burnout or corporate burnout, it is the worst feeling. And once you experience it, then you're like, oh, god. I gotta set some boundaries. But don't really know how. And so I have this like micro action awakening process. Do you mind if I share it with your listeners?
Victoria Volk: Absolutely. Go ahead. Yeah. Okay.
Amanda Popovski: Cool. So this is really great for empaths because it's a micro action awakening process. So when you're looking to take a brave action in the moment, which in this case is setting a boundary. So do you have an example of Victoria of, like, a boundary that your listener might want to set with someone?
Victoria Volk: When others are not seeing you in your in your glory, when they're seeing the you that you used to be. So as you're evolutionizing yourself, as your evolving in your own growth. And the people around you are not growing themselves and you go into that environment.
Amanda Popovski: Oh, okay. Before I share this process, I need to share some quick backstory on this because like I said, I started life coaching. I don't know if I mentioned, but I was in college. And I was a straight a four point o student and I decided to drop out. And my family did not see that coming. They did not appreciate my ambition. They thought that I was making a huge mistake, and they did not hold back from expressing their opinions on that. And one family member in particular said that I was crazy and that I should go to a mental hospital if I was really considering this decision. And I believed them, I believed them for a really long time because I was super young and I wasn't established in my boundaries yet. And so I shifted away from coaching, like you mentioned, went to digital marketing, corporate always danced around this idea of helping people, but it wasn't until I really confronted and faced. Those family members and said, you know what? This is my purpose. This is what I want to do. I know I believe you when you say that you think I'm crazy. I totally believe that you think that. But I don't and I like my decisions. I like the choices that I'm making. It's not because I'm crazy. It's just because I'm first in my community to do that, which is a concept from Jamie Curran Lima and her book worthy. So I have so many good things to say about this, especially when it comes to close family members, about them not seeing you in your glory, seeing you still as a young woman maybe, still seeing you as their daughter, as their sister, as their niece, and feeling like they have the right to protect you and make you feel safe by sharing and smudging their fears all over you. So to this person who is stepping into their glory and their purpose that is so deeply needed on this planet. This micro action awakening process will hopefully be really helpful for you to set a boundary of I'm I'm imagining that someone is starting to say to you, but that's not and then the brave action is for you to set a boundary vocally. The cool thing about the throat chakra is that it's the connector between your head, chakras, and your body chakras. So like your mind may be racing, but your body knows exactly what to say, and it's just got to bubble up from your throat. So the first step is you're in this conversation with this person and they start running their mouth in ways that are not helpful to you. What I want you to do is take a deep breath. Okay? And what that does is not only does it ground you in the moment, but it also interrupts any neural pathway that is going in your brain that says, I shouldn't talk back to them. Right? It's just interrupting that pattern. And even if you do that for a week, you're starting to interrupt that neural pattern and eventually you'll be able to crack it and introduce something else in its place. So when we are in these moments and feeling really nervous, take a deep breath. And what I want you to do is think about your future self and or the version of you that is fully living in the story. You could consider that. You can consider your higher self if you're a bit more woo like me. Or you can just think of somebody that's really brave and bound read and someone that you wanna be like. And just consider what they would do in this situation. That's not only going to break the neural pathway even further, but it's going to connect you to a positive and long term person. Because so often we don't speak our minds because we're afraid of the short term discomfort, but discomfort in any emotion it never killed you. And it's so much more important for you to speak your mind for that long term version. Than it is for you to continue to sit in wrong energy. So okay. We've taken a breath. We've thought about the most badass, sparkliest version of ourselves. And what they would do in this situation? And then we count down from five. And this is a Mel Robbins tactic. It's five four three two one. Right? And then we do the thing. We take the brave action, we say the boundary. And The last part of this process is that when you take the brave action, I'm sure a lot of your folks are people pleasers, maybe perfectionistic to a fault. We want to do a b minus brave action rather than waiting for an a plus. So even if you stutter your words and you're like, wait. Wait. Stop. Stop. Stop. You know? And if you think you sound like a child or whatever, whatever dynamic this person is with you, that's going to come up and you're going to feel your palm shaking and you're going to feel your feet tingling and sweating. But if someone is not supporting you in your glorious purpose, and you continue to allow their opinion to influence you. You're choosing other people and their opinions over your purpose. And that's not good for anyone. And again, discomfort, it sucks, but it's never gonna kill you. So basically, take a deep breath, consider this future version of yourself, push through the short term discomfort, and take the action of setting that boundary. So that you can at least start to feel free in yourself and help the people that you're really meant to help in this lifetime.
Victoria Volk: To piggyback that, I think it's important to be to have emotional honesty in whatever it is you articulate to, not not twist it in a way that the other person maybe you think needs to hear it or how do I wanna say that? Just what's true for you, not what you think the other person needs you to say or, you know, don't mince the words. Say, be impeccable with your word, basically? Yeah. Four agreements? Yeah. Four agreements.
Amanda Popovski: And to piggyback off of your piggyback so now we're piggybacking out. A book that I think will be super helpful when it comes to boundaries is the book of boundaries by Melissa Urban, and she's the founder of Whole30, but she's also a rollicking badass. And she makes boundaries so accessible. She provides concrete examples of things you can say. One of the best things that I learned from that book is to be clear but kind or to be No. No. Clear is kind. Clear is kind. So if you're hopping around your emotional truth like you said, that's not kind to them or to you. And so as long as you are super clear, you are going to feel a lot better about that situation than if you were just kinda like, you know, that wavering kind of emotionality.
Victoria Volk: So it's called book of boundaries?
Amanda Popovski: A book of Boundaries. Yeah.
Victoria Volk: There's another book. The one that I read was called Boundaries. Oh. And two two male doctors. That covers a whole lot of scenarios too.
So if you want, whether a feminine spin or the male version. There's two books there that we each of us recommend. I have not read the book of boundaries, but I I have a feeling the show notes are gonna be a lot of recommendations there. No. I know. Which is great. This is, like, you know, this is, like, a personal development development self help master class. And now it's highly sensitive people. So go us.
Amanda Popovski: I have a question for you, Victoria. As an ex as as a highly sensitive person person as an empath. Why do you think like, I can picture a lot of people listening to this and being like, yeah, yeah boundaries are fine. But why do you think that they're really important Like, how are they life changing to people like us?
Victoria Volk: If they are aligned with your values, they are your guidepost. For navigating life. As long as you're clear on what your values are, which may or may not be reciprocal. Right? Because values can be internal. Like, I value growth. But I don't expect other people to value growth. Right? But if I value honesty, I expect honesty from others. I expect honesty to be reciprocal. And so if someone is not being honest with me, there's my boundary. Right? So I think our values inform our boundaries. So if you can get clear on your values, you know exactly where your boundaries are missing. And if you get confronted with a boundary from someone else that feels activating within you, there's something there for you to look at within yourself. I had once someone just a simple this was a really clear example of a boundary. It was it gets explicitly outlined in her email message responder. I do not reply to messages between blah blah blah whatever it was. And I thought, wow. And and she had, like, this way to articulate it in the message too, like, I respect my inbox. You know, you don't need permission to respect your own, but it's someone who's setting an example of what a boundary, a healthy boundary looks like. Right? And I thought, oh, that's really awesome. I love that. You know?
And so when we get confronted with the other people's boundaries, sometimes we wouldn't know a boundary if it slapped us in the face. But if as an empath or highly sensitive person, you can feel yourself energetically responding to that. It can help shape and mold your own. Right? And by looking at at yourself and self reflection and all of that. So they're so important just for navigating life, I think.
Amanda Popovski: I completely agree with that. And to take a bit of a more woo spin because that's just my whole thing. I think when I often say that when we're procrastinating or overthinking or whatever, and we don't take the brave action in our life or business. It's you're you're not just hurting your productivity, you're actively tearing at yourself relationship. You're disappointing yourself again and again. And so when you don't set boundaries, you're not protecting yourself, and that indicates to me that your perception of your own value is extremely low. And that's really sad if the majority of the world feels that their own value is not even worth speaking up about or not even worth protecting because your energy, when you're an empath, naturally unbounded in a bad way is bleeding out all over the place. You're everywhere. You're feeling everything. You're inheriting and inhaling the vibrations of everything around you, especially in crowds. My God. I don't know about you, but I'm like, crowd phobic. I can't do it. I'm a homebody for sure. But if I'm sacrificing my own value and values for someone else, I'm telling everyone, I'm making a proclamation that I don't value myself or my purpose or the goldenness of my energy because we empathize, we have such a a gift with our energy and everyone's energy is so unique and beautiful and worth protecting that even thinking about this listener that is stepping into their glory but isn't able to set those boundaries. I just want to give them a hug and be like, hey, you are super valuable and it's about time that you saw it for yourself and started to really speak up. And I love what you said about being confronted by other people's boundaries too, and how when someone sets a boundary that we don't like, all of a sudden we have the the clarity of insight of like, oh, crap. Yeah, I get it. I do respect that person for setting the boundary, but it can hurt sometimes. And that's okay.
Like, that has to be okay in a world where we respect ourselves and others. In equal, if not slightly skewed measure?
Victoria Volk: The pendulum can also swing way the other side. Right? Like, where we create boundaries to keep people out and to isolate. And to give ourselves a pass for not leaning into our energetic bigness. Right? Are you familiar with human design? I bet you are.
Amanda Popovski: Oh, girl. What are you? I'm a generator.
Victoria Volk: Nanafaster. Oh. So I'm gonna double whammy. For anyone listening, it's a double whammy, it's an empath or a highly sensitive person to either be a projector. Or a manifesto?
Amanda Popovski: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Because we we generators.
We're here to work. We're here to build, you know, legacies and and our work here. But as a manifesto, You know, projectors wait for the invitation. Right? So how do you what is your strategy to inform?
Victoria Volk: Oh. And you're boundarying all over the place and initiating. Like, it's I'm here to initiate others. And so that's created a lot of grief in my life. Like, people feel my energy before they encounter me. And I I've always and, you know, when I learned about the repelling aura that a manifesto can have. I'm like, no wonder. What day of my life? Like, no wonder I felt rejection over and over and over throughout my life. Like, rejection is huge for a manifesto. And as a generator, you can easily be taken advantage of. Your energy can easily be taken advantage of, which is so highly important for generators and manifesting generators alike to to have boundaries, right, around their energy because you really have to be lit up as a generator to what you're giving your energy to.
Amanda Popovski: Yes.
Victoria Volk: And that's how you burn out. And I burn out by by well, kind of the same thing, you know, because manifesting generators and manifestors manifesting generators have a little bit of manifestor in them, right, obviously. But I have to put my energy into initiating and creating things. And if and being able to initiate people in the work that I do, especially, I have recognized just because I've only been really playing around with my own experiment in the last year. But it's been huge for relationships in recognizing why things went the way they did, why friendships faded. It's helped to come to acceptance, I think, more readily just by recognizing that oh, yeah. I initiated that. Like, I I started to use my throat chakra. Right? Which many manifestors have been taught to really shrink down. So, yeah, it's it's huge for like, this podcast has been huge for my my throat chakra. Huge for my throat chakra. But anyway, this is not about me.
Amanda Popovski: That isn't it?
Victoria Volk: No. I know. But I think it's great conversation for anyone listening to in respect to being an empath or highly sensitive person and blending in human design. I think it's I'm going to put that in the show notes too and I have many times because I sprinkled it in throughout many episodes. But How has human design helped you as an empath and highly sensitive person as a generator?
Amanda Popovski: Oh, good grief. It's been a total game changer. It human design I don't know how it works. I don't know why it works. Sometimes it makes me so mad that it does work because I'm like, this can't be real.
I can't I can't be so connected to something that I have no idea where it came from or who made it.
Victoria Volk: No. No. No. No. Actually.
Amanda Popovski: Exactly. It has helped me understand that my energy is worth protecting that I need to that I do need to value my purpose. And the work that I do and that I need like Mandy needs to be feeling good in order to create her purpose because that's the life thread, this golden thread that a generator pulls from is their own, I'm an emotional authority. So if I'm, oh hell yeah. Okay.
Cool. You might do. So if if my emotions ain't happy, then like no one's happy. I'm affecting the emotions of everyone around me. When I'm in a mood, Everyone can feel it. And part of that is empath, but the other part of it is that it's my authority. It's how I author my life. It's through my emotions and feeling good and vibrant and excited. That's really what led me to the decision to leave corporate is that I thought that it was I really wanted to leave corporate once I matched my income with my business. But then someone like a financial adviser was like, okay, yeah, we can we can look into and project if you're there for one year, for two more years, for three more years, and I felt it, I was like, oh, no. No. No. That's not gonna be happening. I am probably going to leave, and I did a lot of intuition, worked a lot with my mindset, things that coaches do, and got to a place where I was able to leave, that was a month and a half ago, and I have never experienced more success personally, professionally in, like, vibrant feelings. It's like I took a dim, like, a thousand milligram. It feels amazing because I'm really where I'm meant to be. So that was a huge boundary for me to set with myself, with my employers with my family who might not understand and with the universe of being, like, I'm ready to go big. Let's do it. Let's see what's on the other side.
Victoria Volk: I just got, like, truth bumps. Oh. So what did that? I mean, you know, I have a day job. Oh, you you know? I do. I'm in in corporate and I don't talk about it much and where I struggle is and I'm only sharing this because I think it would be helpful for listeners too because I don't talk about it a lot. And it's not that I you know, is it my passion? No. Because my passion is being of service in this way of energy healing work and grief work and all that. But it it's what it allows me to do. Because I do have a lot of freedom in it, and I do have a lot of flexibility. And it kinda checks a lot of boxes for me. And it does provide safety and security. Right?
And I do have a family, and I cover the insurance. I have a lot of layers to to a decision like that, but it if I would not I would be lying if I say, I do not think about that day when I can cut the umbilical cord. You know what I mean? Mhmm. And so when you said that, I'm like, oh, yeah.
Speaker 0: That sounds like heaven.
Victoria Volk: And as a manifestor, to do what I want, when I want, like, it is the ultimate living in alignment. Right? And so it's like, I feel like this constant push and pull. Yeah. And my energy, right, is constantly, like, I and I have three kids and, you know, one's in college and one is, like, taking college classes. And the other one is starting to take college classes too, and they're still in high school that one's graduating this year. And so I'm at that age of, like, well, in three years, I'm gonna be an empty nester and, oh, like, that's just crazy to me. You know? And so I'm kind of getting to this. It's like, you know, waiting for my ship to come in. Right? And taking that leap of faith into the dam ocean and, you know, with a life preserver and know that I'm being held. Right? So please speak to that a little bit more if you could. Please because Oh, yeah. Not only help me, but anyone listening, I'm sure.
Amanda Popovski: Okay. Yes. Beautiful. So the bio that you gave is what I filled out when I filled out the application, but it's actually changed. I forgot to ask you that.
That's a okay. That's a okay. What I do now is still a life and business coach for women, but I help them play bigger, tap into their limitless potential, like, I'm still articulating the messaging around it, but it's really about that, about leap of faith, trusting in the universe. How do we manifest all of those things? So this is very topical and top of mind. That leap of faith that I took was the week before I decided to do it, I had plans, grand plans to do it in June. And I didn't do it in June. And it felt okay to me. I was like, oh, well, I'm just like working on my business on the side. And then come June, I started to notice that when I walked into the office, I started to get anxious. I started to feel my body, like my soul leaving my body, but I still denied it. I was like, oh, god. It's so scary. I don't I'm not ready. I had zero clients at the time. And I was like, yeah, I'm I'm not ready to do this yet. But the feeling in my body persistent and I started to worry and ruminate And then I got to a point where I was doing like a card reading or something, and I pulled the card yes. And it just says yes. And it says yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, all over it. And it was at that point that I was like, I couldn't leave my job, and I just kind of let that sit in the air. And as a generator, we respond. Right? So I said that and I waited for my response. And the response was like, yeah, soon, probably. You'll be leaving.
The real thing that tipped me off was that I had set some three month goals that took me to October, and it was for eight clients or something. And one of my sucky thoughts as I call them, one of my obstacles was like, I can't make that work with corporate, and the universe was like, you won't have to. I was like, oh my gosh. So when you're making a decision like that, it is imperative that you continue to listen to the universe and heed its call. Because your mind is going to be like, yeah, I can leave whenever. I'm a badass. But if the universe keeps saying soon, soon, soon, like it did to me, and you rebel and you're like, what the hell? Like, I'm ready now. Why aren't you letting me leave? It really takes a sense of release and surrender to be like, I know that in the right time, at the right moment, I will be able to leave. It was terrifying. The week before I decided to put in my two weeks, I was a mess. My mind was all over the place. It was like, what are you doing? Here are all the reasons it, like, rolled out the scroll and it was like, hey, here are all the reasons that you should not be doing this. But I just continued to listen to that voice in the back of my head that was like, you're gonna do this. And I trusted that whatever was on the other side was so much better than what I was going through at that time. And my job in corporate was the least corporate corporate job. I worked at a startup who was all young and fun and hip. But In the end, I just had this feeling that as I was leaving, that I wouldn't regret it. And I had to really lean into faith, like you said, and also lean into my body to make sure that everything was still feeling good in the core at its core. And it did and I left I left with a bang. I threw everyone at Taco Party and I gave them a presentation about what I learned and I made them cookies and I just like made it the biggest celebration of all time. And then I signed my first five figure client, like, within three weeks. But I wouldn't have been able to do that if I hadn't listened to my energy. I think as empaths, we have this really incredible ability to be highly sensitive, not only to other people, but once we set those boundaries, we start to gain like master level sensitivity to ourselves. And our intuitions and our next steps. And it's such a beautiful gift.
Victoria Volk: Thank you for sharing that. And what came up for me was I haven't I I'm not there yet. Like, it's like this. It's like this. Yeah. I know Sunday, but it's not like this, oh, hit my stomach. You know, I don't mind what I do. Right? I don't would I rather be doing something else? Yeah. But it's not like this visceral response. Like when I was with a different company, that was visceral. Like, you know, I'm in a much better environment doing the same work, but I'm in a much better environment now. And so for an empath or highly sensitive person, our environment really matters that we hold the container that we have ourselves in, where we work. Our environment is really really matters. Now it's our home environment. That's where we work, where we choose to play. I think that I think that's understated. I don't know why. Like, that just came to me right now to share that. And so I feel like my environment is supportive right now. That's probably why I've not had this visceral experience to, like, cut the cord right now.
Amanda Popovski: Mhmm. Mhmm. Yeah. Oh, I love that you said that about the environment because our boundaries with people are important and so are our boundaries with inanimate objects, concepts, things like that. Like screen time.
I'm super sensitive to screen time. I'm super sensitive to the food that I eat. I'm very sensitive to, like, watching TV at night. I know what rituals are going to make me feel like Oh, return to my body in my environment. My favorite places my room.
I love to be in my room. That's like where I recharge. And I think for an empath or highly sensitive person finding that place. That feels rejuvenative to you can be such a rewarding and deeply nourishing process.
Victoria Volk: I was just reflecting this morning on my sleep last night because I wear a garment and it tells me like my sleep score and it was it was really poor last night and it showed my stress level because it it uses heart rate variability and it like my stress, I can definitely when I when I when I drink alcohol, which isn't often, but when I do my stress level at night, my sleep is not great. It's horrible. And even if I just have one or two, like, it really affects my sleep. And, you know, my stress level is higher. And I ate last night late, later than typical, like, around eight o'clock.
I usually don't eat that late. And I don't know if that's why. There's other things going on with someone I care about. So it's like, is that why? But it's like, again, it's like, like, what's happening within my body that did cause me not to have this rejuvenative, rested sleep. And I was in bed for over nine hours, but and I you know, it said I slept like seven or seven, but it wasn't restful and it wasn't rejuvenating. And so I would just encourage people too, like, to your point about food and sensitivities and things like that. Like, if you're sleeping like crap, just kinda keep a journal and keep track of what, you know, for like a good two weeks to see how things are affecting you and impacting you because that's how you connect the dots and that's it It's just data. Right? I think it's so important for us as highly sensitive people to kinda take ownership of our energy in that way and and track and find these data points that are blatantly clear if we just attend to them.
Right?
Amanda Popovski: Yeah. And what got up for me was grief of the normal for highly sensitive people. So, like, my boyfriend, for example, is the most normal person I've ever met. He loves pizza and beer and video games, he loves football on Sundays, he goes to family parties, like all these different things. I think when you're highly sensitive, you start to set boundaries, you start to move into your purpose. There is this grieving of, why can't I be normal? Like, I I I I wish in some ways that I enjoyed a glass of wine because I think it's so chic and cool, but I get like really sleepy and I get a headache so I'm like, no, no, that's not for me. I have very recently been playing with nutrition and what really nourishes the body like an anti inflammatory diet. And so I know now that sugar gluten, corn, peanut butter, cry, peanut butter. All of these things like they don't they don't make me feel good and it is actively hurting my body when I eat them. And it was such as much as it was a process of releasing those foods, it was a process of releasing the person that can just go to a restaurant and order like a turkey club. Right? Or a person that can just go out on a Friday night and like party it up, you know it a club or whatever. But when you're different like us, I feel like there's real room for you. This listener, for example, that is stepping into her purpose and everyone around her is like, what the fuck? Can I swear?
Victoria Volk: Yeah. It's already explicit. I spoke to you.
Amanda Popovski: Okay. Good. Everyone around her who's like, what's going on? Like, they're basically asking her why aren't you normal. Mhmm. And it's really critical, I think, for us during these transitions to take that time and grieve who we were, the ideal daughter family member, restaurant, a tender, right, the ideal student, whatever, when we have these divergences in what is considered normal in society, that grief is something that I don't think we talk about enough. It's like grieving the person that was compliant, the woman that did play small. Those are big concepts, deeply rooted concepts. And what's beautiful is that on the other side of that grief is real power to step into that process. But sometimes there's an ugly in between of like being the goop in the butterfly chrysalis before it becomes that butterfly.
Victoria Volk: I love that metaphor. Also, I think when it comes to nutrition, I think that's been huge too for me with my human design because the digestion piece, because I I had tried this you know, eating a hundred and fifty six grams of protein and over two thousand calories. And I was like, I felt so heavy. Yeah. And after a week of, like, trying to, like, Making sure I got my over ten thousand steps and doing these intense workouts and eating so much food, I never felt so horrible after a week. And, like, this is not for me. I completely found something that has now. I'm at a calorie that I'm at a calorie count that feels doable, manageable, typical, like normal for me. I don't feel weighed down. I feel lighter. I have more energy actually. It's really ironic. I'm lifting more. I'm moving more weights. My age after three weeks on my health fitness age has decreased. My three years? Yes. So I'm, like, I'm a line now. And it's more of, like, I should be more of a grazer and more, like, not such heavy meals and, you know, not those three square meals a day and eating so much and There you go. I had my big meal last night before bed, like, duh.
Amanda Popovski: Oh my god.
Victoria Volk: I ate too much.
Amanda Popovski: My bad.
Victoria Volk: I solved it. I ate too much.
Speaker 0: I kinda knew that. Like, why am
Victoria Volk: I eating before? Yeah. See, here's a lesson for y'all. Like, learning human design. Learn about your digestion.
Do your body a favor. Take some damn.
Amanda Popovski: Don't be afraid to be abnormal either.
Victoria Volk: And Don't be afraid to find your normal.
Amanda Popovski: Yeah. Your natural. Yes. Yeah.
Victoria Volk: So let me let's we're gonna pivot and I mean, we've talked about food, but in like that familial acceptance, and I'm just kinda looking at my notes here. I want you to I don't remember if you know what you said. When I asked in my form, I asked, what would you like to stream to the world? In the past or recently and wish people knew about your grief. Do you remember what you said?
Mm-mm. Okay. I'll read it to you, and you tell me if it would change or if it's what you would say today. I wish people knew that I wasn't weak, soft, or a woozy, that I'm strong, and my inner world has vast and rich, but my emotions can be fragile. In a grieving period, I like to be as alone as humanly possible, and that doesn't make me strange. It makes me a good steward of my own life force. You don't have to understand me to love me, but I always trust that in loving me, you must allow me to make my own decisions about what can help me process and understand my experience. It takes more time and emotional energy than most of the world may allow, but affords me a wealth of experience and empathy that most of the world may never know. I thought it was so beautifully written. And so maybe you wouldn't wanna change it, but is there anything you would like to add?
Amanda Popovski: Oh, mama. That was an a stirring experience to hear that. Back because as if I recall as I was filling out that application, especially the way that you structured and how your energy is imbued, I felt very free to speak openly about these concepts. And you caught an Amanda that exists underneath like the coaching layer that kind of took me a back and and was really moving. So The only thing that I would add is that I wish this to be the attitude of all HSPs and empaths.
That deep down, we see the true beauty in who we are, and we see the power of the way that we process, and we see the beauty that we in our emotional vastness affords the world. We are like the artists and the feelers and the tender beating heart of humanity, and we should never squash that down. Because if we do, then we lose the fight to the robots and nobody wants that.
Victoria Volk: Thank you for bringing that up. That's a great segue. To a comment I made before we started recording and in talking about, like, AI. And and I encouraged you to jump on the podcasting bandwagon because I think there's nothing more important now than storytelling. And even, you know, children's books, I've been I've been seen how people are kind of bucking AI in that way and how people are really wanting I mean, it's through storytelling that we have deep connection that we find connection with other people. And in that and written word has energy. Right? The written word has energy. And so if everything we're reading doesn't have humanness to it, are we then desensitizing ourselves as a society to what it means to be human. I mean, that's a huge concept. And I'm maybe it's like a download. I don't know, but with so much happening and especially in the US right now. And the how AI is in all aspects of our lives, I think it's in the human connection, the storytelling. Rather than the number of characters that one can type. Or I just heard a brilliant idea for someone shared with me, a good friend shared. There's a subscription where you can it's a different way. It's like, think book reading, but it's in a letter form where you're you're you're reading you get a letter sent a written letter sent to your inbox. And it's like you become invested in this story. And it's in a subscription. I'm like, oh my god.
That is genius. Why didn't I think of that? Like, sending people letters. Like and I don't know how the letters are Like, if it's, like, just I don't know. Like, if is it, like, handwritten and then just reproduced for people who are subscribers, I'm not sure. I didn't, like, look deeply into it, but I'm, like, that's brilliant. And I just think it's in the storytelling that we see ourselves and other people's stories, that we, I think, can look beyond what someone is projecting and look at them as more human when we know their story. Right? It's hard to be angry at someone when we know their story. You know? Did you ever have somebody just ever ask you, what's happened to you?
Amanda Popovski: I have had someone tell me you seem different. Which I thought was interesting.
Victoria Volk: Different as in, like, the Amanda now or different as in as a child or as you were growing up?
Amanda Popovski: The Amanda now versus the one that they knew in the past. Which because I value growth as well, I saw as a sign of a very positive sign. Mhmm. Like, yes, I am moving up in the world and, you know, all those things at the time that that, like, career trajectory and all those things were super, super important to me. But I love the idea that we can everything you just said about storytelling is just still rolling around in my head. Because when we ask someone, what happened to you. We give them or maybe in slightly kinder words, maybe. We give them the opportunity to share their story with us. And that creates circles where AI technology just create lines. You know? Like, there's real connection between people when we tell stories. I was listening to a podcast a while ago and they were talking about the writer strike about using AI and chat GPT in screenwriting. And one of the hosts pointed out that when we view a film that is so to us is so perfect, part of what we love about that perfection is that it was created by another human being. With the same brain as us, but they access something different. They, like, did they made something beautiful with their mind.
And so, I think, valuing the imperfection of human experience rather than the productivity and perfection and, like, cold metal hardness of AI. Is valuable. And I like to think since I learned about digital minimalism, which is basically like being really intentional with what apps you have on your phone, how you use it, etcetera, making your smartphone dumb basically. I've become a true believer that I think the pendulum will swing in in our lifetime, that everyone will get so anxious and fed up with all of this vast communication networks that the majority of us will actually take a step back, start to align our values with what we do, and we're gonna see kraft's people come through. And we're gonna see people using the Internet for like an hour a day instead of eight hours a day. And I have a lot of hope for humanity that the things that I value that feel really true to me, will start to disseminate in the world and that there will at least be a few of us who are more like, put your feet in the grass rather than play a game on your phone.
Victoria Volk: What has been the one grief experience that you think has in the catapult for your glow up, your your evolution, like your Oh. Yeah. The amount of now.
Amanda Popovski: Oh, yeah. It was the grieving. So when I I decided I got my corporate job and I was about a year and a half in. And I'd gotten to senior level, which was very exciting. And I had always wanted a company to pay for me to travel. And I was traveling, I went to San Francisco for an accounting smart last, which sounds super nerdy, but I freaking loved it. And it was the week of my birthday. And I remember waking up on my birthday. And in this really nice hotel, in this new city, and just being like, I can't I can't do this. This isn't my dream.
This is the dream of someone else. And at that time, I hired a coach and I started to work on expanding my digital marketing business and like going full ham with that because I was so wounded by my previous experience with coaching and what people I loved had sent to me. I pushed it off. But it got to a place where I realized that I do wanna be a coach for whatever reason. It just pulled to me.
It pulled to me. It kept pulling to me. It was the single thread of pull through my life in the past. And I made this hundred slide PowerPoint presentation. I sat my parents down and I walked them through it and explained very rationally and very logically. That I was working with a coach and that I wanted to be a coach and that their love and support had gotten me to this place and I understand if they don't understand, but this is what I want my career to be. Were they okay with it? I don't know. We've gotten to a good place with it now, but I deeply remember doing that presentation, getting their quote unquote blessing, which was important to me at the time. Going up to my room, sinking to my knees, and just crying, like, crying, crying, crying. And I think that what this was is the grieving of the Amanda that I thought could make my parents proud, my immigrant dad, my hardworking mom whose upbringing was really tough. My family who saw me with so much potential in the corporate world, my friends who I had who didn't understand what coaching was or entrepreneurship, and myself the version of me that was like, yes, I finally did it. I twisted myself into the pretzel that everyone wanted me to be. And with this decision to be a coach, I untwisted that whole pretzel and I stopped being someone who accepted, someone who was palatable, I guess. And that was hugely grief inducing for me a especially as a highly sensitive person whose goal was to be understood and to feel like she belonged and to feel like she had a place. I had made a place for myself and corporate where I felt spected by my family, by my peers. And it was just the realization kind of clinking into place that I would never be this normal person. That I had successfully fooled myself into being. Once I processed that, I looked back a few times, but I I didn't look back and I made it my mission to be more in line with my purpose than with anyone else's opinion of me and set boundaries along the way for that. And now, I feel like the Amanda in this chair today is the Amanda that my soul has always wanted me to be, someone who's present and grounded and really changing lives and trusting deeply and herself.
Victoria Volk: And it sounds like to me that you've aligned your life with your values.
Amanda Popovski: Yes. Yes. With my values, not necessarily anyone else's values.
Victoria Volk: Which doesn't include people pleasing. Yeah. This is what I heard a lot of in what you shared, because we can do a lot of people pleasing for acceptance as highly sensitive and empathic people.
Amanda Popovski: That's good. Thank you for reflecting that back. I haven't thought about that in a long time.
Victoria Volk: What is the best piece of advice did you receive? From someone that as you were kind of going, did you first of all, I mean, it's it's hard to find people. Right? Like, because oftentimes the people closest to you who have skin in your game are not the people who are gonna be in support of your dreams. Let's not be real.
Amanda Popovski: Yeah.
Victoria Volk: And so, I guess, my piece of advice for highly sensitive people are in paths and all people in general is to find that person that doesn't have skin in your game. Meaning, whatever choices or decisions you make will not have a direct impact or effect on them. And so did you find that for yourself or what was the most helpful piece of advice or something that you discovered that was really helpful for you in navigating all of that.
Amanda Popovski: Can the advice come from a book? Absolutely. Okay. We're gonna have a thousand books in the description, but this book is untamed by London Doyle. It is a very good read. If you're ready for it, it's It encourages you to play big in a way that's absolutely awesome. She was an alcoholic. I think she still identifies as an alcoholic, but sober. And in one of her first AA meetings, she shared her story and someone someone came up to her afterwards and was like, hey, thank you for sharing your story. I relate to it a lot. I wanna tell you that Something nobody told me at the beginning is that your feelings are there to be felt, all of them. And Glenin reflects on the fact that she she thought only good things were meant to be felt, that the negative emotions were meant to be swept away under the rug and meant to be solved and figured out, but that to fully feel them, that's why a soul floating in the ether chose you to be the human that they inhabit. Right? The the highs and the lows, the terrible, terrible pain, and the absolutely ecstatic bliss. This is what souls floating in the ether are like, I get to be human yay. You know? So that had a massive impact on me and it allowed me especially as a highly emotional person to see to have like an almost cool detachment from my emotions to want to feel them, to want to be vibrantly in on the game of life, but not let them toss me around to still be the leader in this time of grief.
Victoria Volk: I love that. Yes. Another resource for the show notes. Now, I can tell you're probably much younger than me. And so you're probably in the throes.
Well, you have a boyfriend you stated, but you've been in the dating game, of course, as a,
Amanda Popovski: oh, girl.
Victoria Volk: Yeah. So can you just reflect a little bit on that experience as a highly from the perspective of a highly sensitive and path like person in finding your match.
Amanda Popovski: Oh, yeah. I love this story. Okay. So I have a a a long history with dating apps in today's day and age. I we've come to them and then flood them and then leave basically. And I did this a few times before I decided really intentionally a few summers ago, maybe four or four years ago, that I wanted to be intentional, and I wanted to set that boundary. And I wanted to only go on dates. Like, I wanted to stay open, but only go on dates that I felt like I couldn't have a real connection with, not just someone who was very attractive. And that led me to Well, it's fun about highly sensitive people. They're often very intelligent and ambitious. And my ambition, I was like, I'm gonna read a blog post about going on ten dates in four weeks, and then I'm gonna beat famous. And so I set up all these dates And I went on most of them, and all these guys were great. I could see them being a match. But by the sixth date, I was like, oh, gosh. I don't feel good.
And I was feeling burnt out by the experience. So I was like, yeah, okay. I'll never be famous for this, and I I deleted the app. And my boyfriend and I met through a blind date, through my mom, and line dates, especially through moms, are super uncommon nowadays. Yeah. But I I had decided after that whole summer of love or whatever that I was just going to focus on my relationship with myself as absolutely corny as that sounds. And it was when I wasn't looking for a relationship that my mom texted me and was like, if I set you up on a blind date, will you go? And I was like, yes, absolutely. Just tell me when and where. Can you transfer?
Can I just send a text to her? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my mom's the coolest. Of course, I trust her. But maybe maybe other moms. Might be a little crazy, but we I went on the state not expecting a lot. I looked him up on Facebook. He didn't look me up. He didn't know what to expect that I couldn't handle the tension of not knowing.
And we went on the state and it was fine. We talked for a while. I remember the waiter put we both ordered two sushi rolls And on our plates, they had put one of his sushi rolls and one of mine, and on his plate, one of his and one of mine. And I distinctly remember me finishing my side on my plate and waiting, you know, being polite and like first lady and being like, oh, you know, maybe he'll notice that I have his role or whatever. Immediately, he was like, hey, give me your plate.
What's going on here? And I was like, oh, interesting. He anticipated my needs. But it was it was fine. Like, I didn't feel an instant connection. And I got in the car to drive home And my intuition was like, you're gonna go on a second date. I was like, oh, okay. That's fine. And then by the fourth date, my intuition was like, yeah, this this guy is really good for you. This is the one. And this came from someone who is
Victoria Volk: A one.
Amanda Popovski: Yes. Yes. Yes. Crazy. Because we we didn't have a lot in common. I pictured always pictured myself with someone, highly entrepreneurial who would vibe with me on an intellectual level and we'd have all these conversations, whatever. But he's like, just this this Irish boy that I can speak to from an energetic perspective no one has made me feel more secure or grounded in my energy. And I felt very early on that my inner child was welcome to come out to play with him in a way that had never happened with his, like, highly intellectual man that I had been dating. I think if someone's on the dating scene now who is an empath and highly sensitive, I recommend What I did because of the digital minimalism thing is I would delete the app during the day, so I wouldn't be tempted to check it. And that really helps me establish good boundaries of like this is not my entire life I don't need to be stuck doom scrolling through these guys. And that helped me just do an automatic barrier between my energy and theirs. And then I didn't do a very good job of this, but something I would tell someone is to really, like, mitigate your energy on a first date because you are trying so hard to be so smiley and attractive and, like, suck them out. They're trying to suss you out. So my recommendation is to set it at like an hour and then leave and then see how you feel and if you wanna do a second date. That's great advice.
Yep.
Victoria Volk: And also maybe before you even open the app, make sure that your energy is aligned with finding someone who is aligned with you rather than this desperate I need someone in my life energy. Right? Like, because you're gonna attract someone very different depending on your energy. Right? Like, you're gonna be looking for different things based on, like, no, I'm I'm coming into this.
I want someone who can match me in this energy that I am in now who values growth and, you know, has that forethought vibe about themselves where they're grounded in the present moment but still have or, like, this visionary person or whatever it is you're looking for. Right? Mhmm. I think that's equally important to go into it with the energy of what you're trying to match with and whom you're trying to match with, I should say.
Amanda Popovski: That's good advice, you know.
Victoria Volk: I also heard
Amanda Popovski: Yeah. Go ahead.
Victoria Volk: I also heard through I love the radio show, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. It's hilarious. Mhmm. On Spotify, they do second date updates, they do, like, there's been some really funny stories on there. It's it's my daily dose of humor and black out louding to myself. But anyway, one of the things that I've learned I'm not in the dating world. I haven't been for, like, over twenty years, and I couldn't imagine being in the dating world today, which is why I wanted to for you to share. But one of the things that someone had talked about was they had a because the dating apps can be exhausting and for, like, all the reasons you said, and they have what some women are doing now is they're having, like, these dating app parties with their girlfriends. And their girlfriends are choosing who they go on a date with. Whoo. How fun does that sound? Right? Like, you're trusting the people closest to you to find a match for you rather than your own ego and your own like getting all in your head and all of that. The people that know you the best. Right?
And so that's why I think like no one knows their child better or no one knows you better than you know yourself, number one. But secondly, if you are all, you know, if you can't get the emotion out of it, that's, you know, especially if you're an emotional. Right? You gotta ride the emotional wave and sometimes that can take weeks and You know what I mean? So you kinda need some support in that way, like someone who can be objective. Right? So that's why I think that's a great idea potentially for highly sensitive empathic people. So, Jamie, I just thought I'd throw that out there too.
Amanda Popovski: I love that because then you're not a lot of the time if we see someone very attractive and very well matched for us, we're gonna talk ourselves down from it. But your friend, your BFF is gonna be like, oh, totally. I see I see this, this, and this, and you, that would make them a really great match. So I think it gets you out of your head really good way. So good.
Victoria Volk: Yeah. Is there anything else that you feel like you didn't get to share that you'd like to share?
Amanda Popovski: Only thing that comes to mind is when you are grieving, use your voice. I don't really know what it means,
Victoria Volk: but I like it. That is good advice. These so many of us crave alone, especially as empaths and highly sensitive people. It can be very easy. To get to a point where especially as children, you know, children have no filter. Children show us I mean I mean as babies we cry. Right? That's all that's our language. We cry. And the longer we are in society and we grow up and we're around people who don't even cry, we don't even cry anymore. We get to a point where we don't even cry. And as this, I think, a highly sensitive person in empath, I think that is our love language. For ourselves, that's the love we can give to ourselves, is to allow ourselves to cry. As I know for myself, you know, I was taught to if, you know and I and not just highly sensitive people in in paths alone, but that's one of the things that many people will say, like, as a child, you know, you wanna cry, I'll give you something to cry about. You wanna cry, go to your room. I was told that as a child. And I did. And to the point where I would fall asleep under my bed. Like, I didn't just go on top of my bed to cry. I went underneath my bed. I went into the linen closet. I would hide to cry. The kitchen cupboard, a hid to cry. One time they even sent a search party out, that's the time I was in the linen closet. They didn't know where I was. And I reflect on that as an adult. And doing the work, the personal development work, and going through grief recovery myself, I cried it was like the the dam broke and thirty plus years of tears came out. And I left that experience a different person than I went in. And that that's when I started to use my voice. It's like the tears that were so bottled up. It was like they were choking me. You know? And I think that's what grief does too to us. It especially as a highly sensitive person or empathic person, it, like, just tangles everything up. And you just gotta start pulling the thread.
Amanda Popovski: And I love that you said it centralized. You made a motion at your neck. And that's that's the throat chakra. Connection between the head and the body. I think it makes us so in our minds and may be so surprised when our body finally shows up and has these retching knobs coming through us. But if we can get into the practice of using our voices when we're grieving. Think it allows us to heal mind and body together through that connection.
Victoria Volk: Let me ask you this. So I think one of the greatest gifts I gave to myself was because I, you know, I also thought something was wrong with me as you did too. You expressed that. Like, you feel like you're different. You know you're different. You feel like I was the kid ordering home reading books from this elastic in elementary school and my friends were ordering like books to read or comic books or whatever it was. And here, I'm reading, like, ordering Paul, reading books. And I collected stickers. And, you know, yeah, the weirdo. Right? And actually someone in my graduating class on the back of his senior picture he gave me. He even stated that. Like, you were weird, but you know, good luck to you or something. I didn't remember exactly, but he he called me weird. My kids have called me weird, but I look at it now or I feel like, you know what? I'm gonna let my weird way let weird flag fly. And I've definitely learned how to embrace it, but I was looking for anything and everything to discover and learn about myself because it's like I was so disconnected from and because a lot of that had to do with my grief and trauma growing up, but and things I experienced early on in my life, but to really connect with the the child within me. Right? And I remember, like, because I was like, I have Simeon lines on the whole fans.
Amanda Popovski: Oh, I don't. Wow. So this is
Victoria Volk: all, like, head and heart so confused, like, head and heart, like yeah. So I'm like, okay. Well, that, you know, explains my indecisiveness and my emotional roller coaster I'm constantly on. And then in the last five years since going through group recovery and stuff, I discovered you map and Clifton strengths, gout, Clifton strengths and stuff. And here I have, like, all mostly thinking themes, well, okay, no wonder. Yeah. Sounds like all of these little pieces and just and then human design, like, all these tools and little pieces of knowledge that I've picked up along the way have really helped me get to where I'm at now, you know, to and understand. I have this NAT. A lot of plants and then there's they come with NATs and they drive me crazy. So But no. I, you know, I think any little piece that we can find to help us better understand ourselves gives us one step closer to really embracing our uniqueness. And so, I guess, you mentioned self help books, but were there any tools and things that you feel like have really been pivotal in helping you embracing your uniqueness.
Amanda Popovski: The big thing that comes to mind is actually human design. Yeah? Yeah. That's been a like a real game changer. And then not to be biased, but having a coach has been there's a very distinct difference between who I was before. I worked with a coach and who I am now. Just in terms of what I truly believe is possible for myself is so highly elevated that it's like I kind of thought I could be this person but I didn't really know until I was consistently pushed to my limits and had different perspectives and mentorship offered to me. I don't think I could have done it just with human design or just with books. I think I needed that one on one relationship with a mentor, a coach, someone that knows how to help you excel. That's a that a
Victoria Volk: huge modality for me. Like my dear friend says, you can't see the label from inside the jar.
Amanda Popovski: You can't see the cover from inside the book. That's what came to mind. Yeah. I love that. Your friend is very wise. He should be on the podcast.
Victoria Volk: She has been. Early on. Yeah. Early on when I started.
Amanda Popovski: What was it for you?
Victoria Volk: Well, if I would say most recently, Most recently, it would be human design in the past year, just in really understanding my manifesto energy. But what unlocked my life and my grief was grief recovery. Was going through that experience and doing that really deep work that I still continue to do. It's you know, I'm all I'm a work in progress. We all are always. And also coaching. Like, I've had my own coaches, you know, and that's an investment in yourself. I had a my grief. I have a client right now and she asked me a really insightful question. I made a note of it. But she asked me, Like, how is the grief recovery method or how is the program that she's in different from therapy and and wanted me to explain it? Mhmm. And What came up for me was the theme that you and I have been sharing this whole time is storytelling. And I think that's what really sets grief recovery apart is that because in the work that I do with clients, I always go first. I share first.
And I think that is just it's disarming for the other person. It's how we connect with each other. It's how I connect with my guests when they're on this podcast. It's this back and forth. It's this in communion with our life experience. Right? It's a breaking of bread of our grief, so to speak. I think that's why this podcast works, at least I think it does. I mean, the stats are showing it does. And sometimes with therapy or therapists, people who are, you know, like psychotherapists or psychiatrists, and that's I think the missing piece. Is that there's this barrier that's kind of put up and she expresses herself. She's like there's this wall almost because the therapist is not sharing anything from their lives. And of course, they have, you know, there's, I suppose, a boundary of practice. Right? Like, you know, when I get too close to your patients or clients or whatever the case may be. And I think that's the beautiful gift, though. Of grief recovery is that that doesn't exist. That wall doesn't exist.
Amanda Popovski: Oh, that's that's so beautiful. Because you make them feel safe, but I think especially amplified by your highly sensitive nature and your empath powers are coming through in the perfect way that really is your purpose. And so tactically, it makes a lot of sense that you would go first. But when you do, Victoria, it's like this lightning bolt of safety that is created. Like brain drops on a window almost because you have that superpower of empathy and that gift of being with others.
Victoria Volk: And have you shared that with your clients?
Amanda Popovski: Coaching that I do, the clients come to me to learn things about business strategy, about manifestation wisdom, about mindset mastery. And while I feel a kinship with my clients, I feel more like a teacher who's leading. Which I think works. There's a certain amount of self disclosure Mhmm. Especially with me because I'm a very Instagram focused in my marketing. So my day is I invite people to my day. But I think that they come to me because they see something in me that they want for themselves or that they feel as a part of their journey rather than being in a place of I'm experiencing this deeply sensitive time. How do I move through it with someone next to me? Right? It's like that maybe cliched now thing of, like, there's two footprints on the beach and Mhmm.
This is carrying you on his back. I think I'm more sitting across from my clients. Standing in what is possible, which you are as well. But I wonder what it would look like for my practice. If I were able to I think I think the nature of our work you and I allows empathy, and pastness, and high high sensitivity to blossom in two different ways. Like, we're both flowers, but just have a different shade. Like, how your eyebrows are cousins, not twins? Like, we're cousins, not twins.
Victoria Volk: No. That's beautiful. I I just you know, because the work that you do in this question that she posed last night, it was just kinda stuck with me and I just kinda kinda wanted to get what your thoughts were on that.
Amanda Popovski: Someone just today actually said that we were talking about how coaching is different than therapy. And my view is that therapy is can be very past focused and very focused on the past and the present. And I think that coaching at least the kind that I do is very much focused on goals in the future. And being embodied in the present and like these concepts that because the therapist has that act of self disclosure, they they might not talk spirituality with you or human design or business strategy. Right? They're there to be a therapeutic outlet. Whereas I I like to think that after a coaching session, at least this is me with my coach, and from what I can tell my clients with me, it's like I feel like a superhero. Like, I just plugged into a five hundred watt amp and I feel clear and and ready to go make sure it happened. Mhmm.
Victoria Volk: And I'm kind of like, I want those people who want that for themselves, who are ready to open their lives up to that, but let's look at the past. So then we don't repeat it. Let's become empowered by our past. Let's look at our past with a new perspective so that we're not pulling it and dragging it with us into our future.
Amanda Popovski: And that work that you do is ultimately such a strong foundation for the work that I would do. Mhmm. Of like, damn, you are so well regulated you know your shit, let's just springboard and see where you can go, whereas someone who might not have that grip on the pass, more time is taken to dissect and to go back. So imagine
Victoria Volk: Imagine now. If I just referred people on to you after they've worked with me.
Amanda Popovski: Oh my gosh. Is a match made in heaven?
Victoria Volk: Vice versa if people come to you and you're like, well, I think we need to look at your foundation first. Maybe you should talk to Victoria. Not quite ready. No. This has been amazing. I loved our conversation. I hope the listeners can feel our dancing of energy because I feel it and you feel like a kindred spirit. You're like the blonde version of my very beautiful friend. And she's a red head. And actually, your hair is really similar to she's got this beautiful full red hair that I've been MDSO forever.
But yeah.
Amanda Popovski: So cool. I felt the same. This was such such a good conversation. I feel like we were talking and then our antennas were also talking.
Victoria Volk: Yes. Yes. We are a vibe together.
Amanda Popovski: I'm so sorry.
Victoria Volk: Well, where can people reach you if they would like to learn more about your work and what you do, and your awesomeness, and your beautiful golden energy?
Amanda Popovski: So it's on my website at amanda popupsky dot com and then Instagram at amanda popupsky. If you have trouble spelling it, it's okay. It's in the title of podcasts. But those are my main two places that's where I've been hanging out and where I'm announcing new programs and things and yeah. Thank you for the opportunity to share that.
Victoria Volk: I will put the winks in the show notes. Yeah. Thank you so much for this beautiful conversation today. It's been a gift. Thank you. And remember, when you unleash your heart, you unleash your life. Much love.
