Supporting Yourself When It's a Less Than Happy Valentine's Day

In the quiet moments of early morning, as the world stirs awake and you're left with your thoughts, do you ever reflect on what self-love truly means? How often do we pause to consider that perhaps the most enduring relationship we'll ever have is with ourselves?

As Valentine's Day approaches, hearts and flowers flood our surroundings, reminding us all about love. But amidst this celebration of affection, a deeper connection often goes unnoticed – the love we give ourselves.

This week on Grieving Voices, I'm peeling back the layers of what it means to cherish and prioritize yourself truly. As Valentine's Day approaches, let's shift our focus from external expressions of affection to cultivating an inner sanctuary of self-compassion and care.

The key takeaways from this episode include:

• The significance of daily self-love practices such as affirmations, gratitude journaling, self-care rituals, mindful movements like yoga or walking, engaging in creative endeavors, eating healthily, taking breaks from digital devices, and honoring one's emotions.
• How these practices create joyous avenues toward hope and emotional liberation.
• The importance of establishing healthy boundaries for overall well-being.

Conditional or self-sacrificial love isn't sustainable. True empowerment comes when choices are made free from the weight of others' expectations—when they spring from a well of genuine self-regard.

How do we cultivate this kind of self-love? Daily affirmations remind us of our worthiness. A gratitude practice opens our eyes to life’s blessings amidst pain. Self-care days aren’t indulgent—they're necessary retreats for rejuvenation. Mindful movement brings us back into harmony with our bodies, while creative expression unlocks inner worlds waiting to be explored.

Proper nutrition fuels not just the body but also the spirit—and sometimes, what we need most is simply disconnecting from digital noise through detoxes that allow quiet reflection and growth.

This Valentine’s Day, let's shift the focus inward. Celebrate by embracing your internal reservoirs of love so that every other day is enriched by your own heart’s abundance.

RESOURCES:

• Do Grief Differently™️

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Transcript

Victoria Volk
00:01:29 - 00:01:44
Welcome. Welcome. It's another episode of Grieving Voices, and I am your host, Victoria V.

Victoria Volk
00:01:44 - 00:02:36
And today's episode is inspired by Valentine's Day because in the US, that is tomorrow on February 14th. And I know for a lot of people listening, this might not be perhaps a happy Valentine's Day. And so, in the spirit of broken hearts and less than loving feelings, I thought I would share today's episode on the topic of self-love. But I wanna start by saying, first of all, I love you. I love you for being a part of my community, for being a listener, for just being you, and sharing whatever gifts you have with the world, if you are and if you aren't, and you just haven't discovered them yet, that's okay.

Victoria Volk
00:02:36 - 00:03:41
I think we feel so much pressure sometimes to do some big things in the world. And I know personally, I've felt a lot of pressure within myself to do that, to leave some sort of legacy and that can cause us a lot of grief. And I know finding your purpose and waking up every day and when your feet hit the floor and feeling like you have purpose or not feeling it can bring a lot of grief into our hearts. I think what's so important when you find yourself in those situations or when you're feeling that way, the best thing you can do for yourself is to give yourself some love because really that's where it all starts. I think we can only love others to the depth that we love ourselves because otherwise, it could be conditional or it could be self-sacrificial And maybe we have these expectations of something and receiving something in return, which makes it conditional.

Victoria Volk
00:03:41 - 00:04:23
So I just wanna talk a little bit about self-love today and then offer some practical things that you can do to nurture some love within yourself. And so, let's get started. I think as a teenager, I had a very difficult time loving myself. I don't think I really truly started to love myself until after I addressed a lot of the anger and resentment I was holding within myself with that my body was holding onto and I'll get more into that later but I can say now for the most part, of course, we all have our days, We all have our moments,

Victoria Volk
00:04:24 - 00:04:52
We all have that comparisonitis, which I used to have it so bad. But when you can get to the point where you Where you walk to the beat of your own drum, then you know you've gotten to a place of self-love and there's always more More to do in that department, I think. There's more that I could do for myself, I know, But I will say as of today that I love myself. I love the person who I am.

Victoria Volk
00:04:52 - 00:05:20
I love the person that I'm becoming each and every day. And I wish the same for you, but for a long time, I didn't feel this way. I remember being a teenager and trying to make myself throw up. I was only successful one time. I quickly realized that Strong foul orders caused a stronger gag reflex for me. But man, didn't it suck being a teenager?

Victoria Volk
00:05:21 - 00:06:16
Like when you think back, I know a lot of my listeners are probably 35 ish or my age, 25 to 45. Being a teenager sucked, and I think it's just much harder now to navigate being a teenager As a parent looking in, and just in the conversations I have with my kids and how much technology has progressed. But today, self-love is a bit of a buzz phrase, and I just want you to contemplate though The importance of self-love in your life. Maybe it's not even something you've given much thought to, but Valentine's day is the perfect time to remember that love does start from within. This year, let's shift the focus from external relationships to the most important relationship of all, The one we have with ourselves. 1st, I wanna make some distinctions.

Victoria Volk
00:06:17 - 00:07:15
Love is the willingness and ability to allow others the right to make their own choices for themselves without any insistence that they Satisfy me. Let me say that again, The willingness and ability to allow others the right to make their own choices for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy me. Loving myself is the willingness and ability To allow me the right to make my own choices for myself without any insistence That I satisfy others. Again, loving myself is the willingness And ability to allow me the right to make my own choices for myself without any insistence that I satisfy others.

Victoria Volk
00:07:16 - 00:07:54
So how do you cultivate love within yourself? 1st, and I think above all, we have to open our hearts to receiving it. And this starts with cultivating it from within to become softened enough to be open to first recognizing it and then receiving it from others. The more love you cultivate for yourself, the more you will understand where in your life you have been self sacrificing to satisfy others. Self-love is the ticket to realizing your boundaries, and self-love is the ticket to laying down the armor you've worn to protect yourself.

Victoria Volk
00:07:55 - 00:08:25
Embracing self-love is a beautiful way to celebrate Valentine's Day, and today, I'd like to share some practical self-love rituals to get started in nurturing your heart and soul. Number 1, morning affirmations. Start your day by speaking kind and loving words to yourself. Look in the mirror and affirm your worth, beauty, and strength. Repeat positive affirmations that resonate with you, such as I'm deserving of love and happiness.

Victoria Volk
00:08:26 - 00:08:44
Or I embrace my uniqueness and shine my light. 2. Gratitude practice. Take a moment to reflect on everything you appreciate about you. Write down 3 things you love about yourself each day.

Victoria Volk
00:08:45 - 00:09:15
It could be your resilience, your creativity, or compassion. Cultivating gratitude for your own qualities and accomplishments can boost your self-esteem and foster a deeper sense of self-love. 3. Self-care spa. Treat yourself to a luxurious self-care spa day. Draw a warm bath with your favorite bath salts and essential oils, Light some candles, play some soothing music, and indulge in a nourishing face mask or body scrub.

Victoria Volk
00:09:15 - 00:09:39
Allow yourself to fully relax and pamper Your body, mind, and spirit. 4. Mindful movement.  Engage in activities that make you feel connected to your body and Promote self-love. Try a gentle yoga or meditation session to cultivate mindfulness and self compassion. Focus on your breath and listen to what your body needs in the present moment.

Victoria Volk
00:09:41 - 00:10:01
5. Creative expression. Tap into your creative energy as a form of self expression and self-love. Engage in painting, writing, dancing, or playing an instrument. Allow yourself to explore your passions and express your innermost thoughts and emotions. 6.

Victoria Volk
00:10:02 - 00:10:33
Nourishing nutrition. Show some love to your body by nourishing it with wholesome foods, Or treat yourself to a trial of a home food delivery kit, like HelloFresh. They are not sponsoring this episode, but I would just wanted to share. But I think this is a great idea for people to give themselves their time back. Take off some stress, Those busy weeknights when you just don't know what to make or you haven't had a chance to run to the store, this is a gift you give yourself.

Victoria Volk
00:10:34 - 00:11:02
I think it's a great idea for lunches. You know, if you have to if you're working from home or if you take lunch with you, just it's It's one less meal that you have to think about that's also nutrient dense. 7. Digital detox. Take a break from technology and social media to create space for self reflection and self discovery. Disconnecting from the digital world allows you to connect with your Self, and your desires, dreams, and aspirations.

Victoria Volk
00:11:04 - 00:11:37
And last but not least, Address your feelings. And I think this is one of the most important. Whether you are angry at someone, holding on to resentment from long ago, Or experiencing feelings of guilt, shame, or sadness, all of these hold a deep well of wisdom for you. Our feelings are what drive our behaviors. Change the thoughts that create your feelings, which drive your behavior by learning new knowledge and new tools, and what you get is emotional completeness.

Victoria Volk
00:11:38 - 00:12:11
In other words, More joy, hope, and emotional freedom. All of which you receive when you go through my program, Do Grief differently, which will be linked in the show notes. But remember, self-love is an ongoing practice That requires patience and compassion. Be gentle with yourself and embrace the journey of self discovery by prioritizing self love, you are cultivating a strong foundation for all other relationships in your life.

Victoria Volk
00:12:12 - 00:12:37
So this Valentine's Day and every day, let's celebrate the love that resides within each of us. Embrace these self-love rituals and make them a part of your daily routine, not just on Valentine's Day, but every day. You deserve love, care, and kindness. It all starts with loving yourself. Again, Thank you so much for being here, for listening.

Victoria Volk
00:12:38 - 00:13:07
I wish you a wonderful Valentine's Day filled with self-love and joy, and every day. Because remember, when you unleash your heart, you unleash your life. Much love.