Grieving Voices

Sirry Berndsen | The Spirit World Walks Among Us

September 21, 2021 Victoria V | Sirry Berndsen Season 2 Episode 65
Grieving Voices
Sirry Berndsen | The Spirit World Walks Among Us
Show Notes Transcript

There are psychics and then there are psychic mediums. Do you know the difference? 

Sirry shares the difference between the two in this week's episode. And, there's so much more that we cover in this conversation including:

  • Her grief growing up, things she's experienced as an adult, and what her grief is today.
  • What her thoughts are on the afterlife.
  • Her thoughts on religion and mysticism of life as it relates to mediumship.
  • Cultural differences in self-care when it comes to grief.
  • What happens to people who do bad things after they die?
  • Her experience being a Certified Medium and a Certified Grief Recovery Specialist
  • Tips for those who are in preparation for a loved one dying.
  • Tips for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one.
  • Learn how to connect with the spirit of deceased loved ones.

So much goodness packed into this episode! Listen with an open mind and open heart, and see what comes up for you. See if you can feel the spirit within you stirring your heart to learn more. And, if you feel called to have your mind blown, I can't recommend a session with Sirry enough! She's highly professional and has a heart full of love and light.




Need help?

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If you or anyone you know is struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, there are free resources available HERE.

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This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.

Victoria Volk  00:08
This is Victoria of the, and you're listening to grieving voices, a podcast for hurting hearts who desire to be heard. Or anyone who wants to learn how to better support loved ones experiencing loss. As a 30-plus-year griever in advanced grief recovery methods specialist, I know how badly the conversation around grief needs to change. Through this podcast, I aim to educate gravers and non gravers alike, spread hope and inspire compassion towards those hurting. Lastly, by providing my heart with the ears in this platform, Grievers had the opportunity to share their wisdom and stories of loss and resiliency. How about we talk about grief, like we talked about the weather. Let's get started. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for tuning in to grieving voices. I am super excited for today's guest. Siri bernsen holds a BFA and MFA in Visual Arts and as a certified medium by the forever family foundation. She's a grief recovery methods specialist and a master teacher. She's also studied as suey, reiki, and received master life regression therapy training from the Weiss Institute. Thank you, thank you for blessing me with your presence. And I am just super excited to have you on as a guest today. I personally have had a session with you blew my mind. My very first one, too. And I just I'm so thrilled to have you here. So, thank you.

Sirry Berndsen  01:42
Well, thank you for inviting me. And thank you for being relentless.

Victoria Volk  01:45
I am relentless when I had I pestered to, to you know, send in the email sending the emails and yes, if I if there's something I feel like would be a great service to my audience. And that just really, I'm just so curious to learn more. Yeah, like, it gets me excited. So, yes.

Sirry Berndsen  02:07
It's enthusiasm, and we all love and enthusiasm and passion, and I think that more of us could use it.

Victoria Volk  02:13
Yes. So let's talk about, let's start there with your work. And really what brought you to do this work.

Sirry Berndsen  02:24
So what brought me to do this work? About 20 years ago, I went through a really quite a horrific experience where somebody was violated me. And it was a turning point in my life. Because before this, so I'm gonna start from the beginning, as a child, I just had sort of this childhood faith. I think I went to church, maybe two or three times I was not a church person, none of my family members were so not raised with any religion. But my grandmother had a tiny, tiny, tiny bit of religion in her and but that was it. And so in my childhoods, I was very much the child of nature, which is very common like for people in Iceland, we are very connected to nature. And we thrive on anything and everything that has to do with the blue sky and the like the earth and everything that is our religion, that is our faith. And so when I was 12 years old, I changed and the reason why I changed my whole sort of this childhood religion or this childhood faith, at the age of 12, I had been bullied because I read here and says, this is a podcast, people don't see me, but I have red hair and blue eyes, very, very fair, and have been bullied for probably like two or three years in school. And it was just absolutely horrendous. And I was getting to a point of feeling extremely depressed. And I was the youngest child of most of my parents. And my brother was also redheads. And my sister too. As I don't know, my mom and dad, I didn't really pay attention to it as like, oh, it is what it is. But I remember that the like I was about 12 years old when I started praying to God and I said to God, please make a stop. And this was, this was like, every single day I'll be praying to God make this bullying stop, and it wouldn't stop and then it just said one day, okay, God, I made a deal. If it doesn't stop, I will no longer believe in you and I will no longer pray to and so that that just it just came to a complete standstill. So at this point, I'm 12 years old. And then life just continues and I had this deep faith that when you die, you go on the ground or your primitive. And that's it done was such a simple way of thinking. And I'll be honest now today because of the work that I do. It is the extreme simplification of everything.

Sirry Berndsen  04:43
Then you get to the point of you don't need to worry about the afterlife is like you die on you. That's it. So then fast forward, and then I moved to America and I had this horrible experience and I was going through a really really rough time and then something in my heart said Oh, look for Have some sort of a spiritual gathering. And a friend of mine had gone to see a psychic medium some years prior and she was off the motorway but and I remember myself think like, Oh, this is BS. And I actually changed the subject and I said to her like, oh, when would you like to go skiing next time. And so and I remember this so vividly because I just thought it was like she was Cuckoo. And so so after that horrible experience, I was, my heart was or spirit I should say, spirit was nudging me to go and seek something else. And I went to spiritualist church. And this isn't a matter of moments of like within minutes, but my whole life changed. So in the spiritualist church, there was a young lady she is now my friend, Jacqueline, she was the medium of the day, close to main age and, and she was giving a message to a woman who was most likely Thai or Filipino because I was sitting all the way in the back of the church. And, and I could only see the back of her head on sort of a little bit of a cheek. And then Jackie says, Well, I have your mother here. And she gave a really good description of the mother and how she passed and all those things. And then Jackie said this, she said something in a different language. As he said to the lady, she said, I'm hearing this thing, and I have no idea what it means I have no idea. Like, I just hear this sound I need to give this to you. And so she gave it to the young lady in the congregation. And the young lady says oh my god, that's my mother's saying I love you in her own native language. That transformed my life in a in a second. And because I every one of the chairs that day, it was like 80 people there. And everyone just gasped. And there are other mediums. There were other people that were there that day, though, also were young mediums, and they remember this moment so vividly. Now Jackie did not go to college, she did not study Thai or Filipino, she says like really down to earth. And so when she said this in a different language in an Asian language that no one else in the church understood except the young lady. That was it for me. And I said to myself, well, if I was to try to do this work, I would like to be as good as Jackie. And so the Reverend in the church that day, she said, Well, we're going to start classes in the fall, if you'd like to attend those classes, come and see me. I was unemployed, I had just graduated with my MFA, you know, who's going to hire somebody with an art degree. And so I started attending these classes, and everything happened just really quickly. So what I thought was always my imagination. I just thought it was my imagination. When I was talking to the class, or when I was talking to nothingness, I just thought it was like makeup stuff. But it wasn't. And so in these classes, within weeks, I just excelled. Because as time progressed, I was able to decipher what was my imagination, and then what was coming through from spirits. And I think that I would have to say that I studied also I studied journalism, and I knew how to interview so I knew how to do these interviews with people. And I knew how to be on the radio on all of those things. And so when I got to the point of with my art background, there was this great imagination. And then with my skills of interviewing, I found myself having the ability to interview spirits. And I would sit with them, and I would just ask them questions, who are you and I would break everything down to male female and then I would break it down into a family or friend and then I was a family that would break down to are you like the age and what relationship and our math everything out in my mind or it was almost like a 3d thing. And like how we have the tablets for the iPad today. And I was able to map everything out in my mind, okay, is the dad coming through and then it could feel like if he had other siblings if there were other siblings in the spirit world, I'm so in line things up like this farewelled was always behind me on the living people in front of me. So, it just started this whole journey of talking to spirits, it was communication with spirit on. And now so this was in the beginning years. And now I actually teach this and I teach the method that I use back in the day. But now it just seems to flow because I had this 100% trust that when I am connected and this is usually with the person that comes to see me, they know that I'm connected. If I'm not connected, then it's just it is what it is. And I apologize, but I would say 80 90% of the time I am connected, and my hope is always that at least 90% is understood or people can connect to it if I'm not hitting the mark on a at 90% I don't do a session that day. But because sometimes some things are left to interpretation or get into debate about like whether somebody something was teal, or sort of is bluish green tone, and I won't do that anyway. So um, so yeah, so now I know that there's an afterlife I know not even with a 99 it's not even 99.99 I know that with 100% no doubt in my mind that there's an afterlife Absolutely. And I think that it sort of gives us it's an interesting idea because knowing that there's an afterlife and you think just like well what happens on the other side? What happens in the afterlife? Where is the absolute there's so many questions that come up. But then what I think is more important is that how are we living our lives here today, connecting to other people? Are we living our best lives? And are we living our kindness lives? Because when we pass away we have this review. And, and the question is, then could we have done something better?

Sirry Berndsen  10:41
And that's the thing that I want to always sort of how I live my life and like I always make sure that I'm doing the best that I can. I'm a living my kindness life. Do I have compassion from a neighbor even when I find myself being a little bit annoyed with someone, I do a self reflection what is it that is in me that is causing this annoyance it's an everyday thing because the other thing also like I live in silence, I love not listening to I like I never watched TV, if I do have a little bit of TV watching us like a movie or something, or TV show The lifts my spirits, I never watched my loves on TV, I just don't see the point in it, watching the news don't see the point in it. And it's really about keeping my spirit light, with a capital L. and uplifted and, and even with when it comes to the music. If I listen to music, it usually is some sort of a curtain soft music in the music. Like, if I'm getting ready for a session, I may listen to meditative music. But otherwise, I'm in silence because I love a lot to be present in my own thoughts.

Victoria Volk  11:45
I love that. Thank you for sharing your progression and how you got into the work. And I'm curious as a child, did you recognize that you had kind of this?

Sirry Berndsen  11:58
Yes, so looking back, absolutely. When I was a child, so when I was growing up, we lived in a kind of a small apartments. The fire was in like two bedrooms. And it was really cramped. And so, we only had one bathroom. And I remember myself was a childhood. So, I'm really young at this time, probably from the age of like two up to like 678, I would go into the bathroom and I would lock the door. And I will just sit there on the bathroom floor. And I will talk to my imaginary friends. And I've heard later on that is very, very common with a lot of mediums. They talk to their Imaginary Friends; I would have full conversation with them for an hour or even longer until like somebody would start knocking on the door. He was just childhood conversations. But it was like full blown conversations. I remember as a kid I had like, there were two children. Oh, come and play with me. It was a boy and a girl.

Victoria Volk  12:51
Do you feel like most children the innocence of children? Do you feel like most children do because of their innocence of this gift? kind of you know of?

Sirry Berndsen  13:03
Yes. So, this is this is an I think a lot of people say the same people that are worked in my field, we can tell when a child is really connected. And I will say we are all psychic; we are born with a psychic gift. And if people are questioning there's people that may be religious, you may want to look into Corinthian letters one through 14. It says there that people are born with gifts, that we're all born with gifts. And so, then the question is what is the gift and children? They're so receptive, they're so innocent. And I would say about options up until the age of like maybe seven or eight when they start going to first or second grade when other kids may start making fun of them. The childhood innocence but also there's this purity with the children that they don't question like, they don't question the silliness of things such as like, Oh, yeah, this is what it is. And I also think a lot of times infants are very, very young babies like when they're just like not naturally verbal yet, when they're like pointing into thin air. They have. So it's really interesting that the infant's retina, the eyes, they develop at a later stage. And I heard an interview on NPR about this. And I thought it was fascinating. So, they have a different sights up until a certain point in the lives and because I'm not a scientist, I don't know until one disease, but they see spirits, they see them. And I think that every parent, they should allow them to just see them and be normal around it. When they sound like going bah bah bah and like pointing into thin air, pay attention to it, engage in a conversation. Oftentimes also children, they will speak to photographs, you know, and they will like babble. And they will say things, and nobody understands nicely what they're saying. But they'll have bah bah, bah, bah, photographs. So, Mike's measures that use the children, they're talking to someone because there's so receptive.

Victoria Volk  14:56
Was that something that you hid then? I mean if you went to the bathroom to lock the door. And you know, it's it's something you felt like you couldn't share?


Sirry Berndsen  15:06

Yes, because I was the youngest. And so, I was the youngest of my siblings, and let's just put it this way, then they needed a punching bag. You know how that goes like when, because my brother at the time he was, he's not much older than I he was a teenager. And then my sister is a year and a half older than I am. But it's sort of like a yes, I hit the I hit it from them just to have peace and quiet around it so that they wouldn't call me insane or crazy. I mean, they already did. You're crazy. I just didn't want to have that in my head all the time. So yes, I get it.

Victoria Volk  15:39
And the youngest too, so I get you.

Sirry Berndsen  15:42
Oh, you can get it, okay, you get is like, make them stop doing that. Make them stop poking me make them stop, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.

Victoria Volk  15:50
So, in the work that you do, you know, because people and you're a grief recovery specialist. And so, I am too. And so, you bring a different aspect to your work, I think because of that. And so, in the in sessions with people, I'm just curious, is there one session that really stands out to you?

Sirry Berndsen  16:13
I'm not sure if there's one session. I mean, there's several sessions that stand out for me for different reasons. But I can say this. Before I did the grief recovery method, I was able to pinpoint pretty precisely things, events in people's lives, that were in some ways, traumatizing, that caused grief that caused pain. But after I did the grief recovery methods, training, I was able to line things up in more in more of a clear fashion, if I can say that. And and you know how I would do the grief chart? The What is it called? The loss? Yes. Grant? The Yes, the loss graph. Yes. So now that that has been sort of embedded into my mind from the training, is, you know, the spirits, they just bring it up in my mind. And like yesterday, I did a session yesterday that I was able to use that their last chart really precisely, you know, so like, her parents divorced when she was about, like, everything started going downhill when her parents were like, when she was eight- or nine-years old things that are going downhill. And then they divorced when she was about 1112 years old. And then I was able to in my mind using the loss last year, I knew that when she was 14, her mom passed away so I'm able to line things up more more precisely than I used to. And so my I think that my personal grief is obviously I've gone through my own grief as a child, we all do. We all go through grief, we open our eyes to the world. I was like, okay, there's grief. But I think because of the work that I that I've done in the past 20 years, I'm able to process things a little bit differently. And to share with you just really briefly, for instance, both my parents passed away, and I had a very complicated religion with my dad. And so when we, when I did the training, I did the last chart on my dad, of course, and I wrote the letter to my dad. And then when my mom passed away was interesting, my siblings, they thought it would be the one like lutens really kind of like sort of having a hard time with it. But I knew I wouldn't. And the reason is because because of the work that I've done and because of the reef recovery, I knew how to treat myself really well. And when my mom passed away, I actually took two weeks off from work and when it came to her birthday, I took the day off from work but I took probably good six five to six weeks to Greece in the kindest most gentle way possible. Of course I saw and you know after she passed away a shard but it was interesting I would see her appear so what happened after a passage I was staying in her home and I actually ended up going into her bedroom and I slept in her bed and I'll see her appear in the door you know I'm just talking to me and that was really comforting but at the same time it was really hard like heart wrenching but I kind of knew because of the work that I do that okay, I can always talk to her and um, she was just like walking around the home and I was like and then I would hear her say to miss you know, let's see, call my name Siri. Now Siri and sort of in a very loving and daring way, or she would call me honey Siri, just to try to get my attention that I would just spend time with her. This after our passing. So I after took time off from work, because I knew that that was grief that I wanted to really heal. I'm not going to my work in sort of all patterning in pieces it was important for me to put the pieces back together

Victoria Volk  20:07
I think that's what so many people do is they just quickly try to they don't take that time and a lot for many people I don't want to minimize it that that isn't that is a luxury to be able to have that time to be able to do that can be a feel like a luxury for people especially with kids and you know if you have all kinds of things in your life so go ahead.

Sirry Berndsen  20:30
You see, I think is a cultural thing also though, because I remember when my grandma passed away my my mother's mother when she passed away my mom took some days off from work and I remember this vividly that she would spend time just grieving and it's a cultural thing because in my culture you are given a chance to grieve I mean for instance we get for some occasion we get five maybe six weeks summer vacation depending on who you work for minimum five and for maternity leave you get six months minimum of up to a year. Wow Hey, we're tight about maternity leave. And so the culture that I come from it's it's Iceland it's a very Scandinavian culture you're allowed to be human you're allowed to be with your family and even like I know in Denmark and Sweden or Norway they really encourage you to spend time with family and I think that in one of the Scandinavian countries they gave you I think up to two years of maternity leave of full pay you know and that is something that absolutely blows Americans away and so I'm coming from that culture one of my mom because the way yes, it is a luxury that I was able to take time off work but I also live my life in such a way that I don't spend a lot of money I am kind of simple in my lifestyle like I don't spend money on silly things. I'm frugal. First of all I buy secondhand clothing and I'm proud of it you know and I recycle a lot and so when I take time off I know that I will not be making any money at the time but I've prepared for those days and then I just live really sparingly during the time off

Victoria Volk  22:12
And I love those tips and I think to like you said it's it's setting your life up for what you value

Sirry Berndsen  22:19

Victoria Volk  22:20
and if you are wondering what people value just look where they spend their money, right? 

Sirry Berndsen  22:27
Oh absolutely I'm like I don't need I'm not I do not need to measure up to anyone I don't care what like my neighbors to if they get a new car if they get a new book I just don't care about those things those material things I don't care about but yes my value is in family and being in the space that I need to be in emotional well being it is and you know what it is it's self love. It is self love and I had this I had this thinking I used to be a flight attendant for a short while and they would always say that you know put dogs and mask on yourself first before you put on your anyone else around you. Especially the children because they you know they will survive you just have to take care of yourself first and so these days when I when I can like a point my point of myself when I say me and myself and I but I say this as a loving way because with me being fully there. I can be there for you. It really comes down to that

Victoria Volk  23:25
and that's what I hear a lot to like the remote that makes me think of how people say when I say I'm you know a grief recovery specialist I tend to have a grief podcast you know, it's depressing that sounds depressing. It Oh, and don't look at it that way. You know I grief is a teacher. It is such a wonderful teacher. For us. It highlights in all the ways that what it shows up for us. It highlights illuminates what needs healing. Yes. in all aspects of our lives. Every cause grief touches every aspect of our lives, our money, relationships, our relationship to ourself. How we show up in the world, everything.

Sirry Berndsen  24:13
Absolutely. And what you just said how we show up in the world. Grief touches everything. And I recently heard Rene brown Susan's ecologist and she said, Unless pain is transformed, pain will always be transmitted. is so true. And we are responsible for ourselves and not anyone else. Yes, our children, their well being. But again, it goes back to this. We take care of ourselves and then we take care of our children. It always goes this way. Number one is you and your essence and then everything else will fall into place.

Victoria Volk  24:57
Absolutely 100% Can you speak a little Little bit to how in some religions that mediums psychics Well, first of all, you're not are you a psychic, you're a medium.

Sirry Berndsen  25:13
So everyone is born psychic. So that is the first given we're all born psychic is the sixth sense, you know how like animals, all animals, they have the sixth sense. versus if there's an earthquake, the animals, they know how to run to the higher areas or regions, like when there's a tsunami, they knew how to run up to the mountains. And so this is the sixth sense, it is born, it's, it's we have it. So everyone is psychic, but there are those people that dive into it, and are those people that choose not to dive into it. And I think though the more people begin to study science, they leave the intuition behind, although Einstein was really quite spiritual, because he has says things like he said things about the sort of the mysteriousness of the universe, and all of those things that you have to sort of when you have a scientist that is able to be also spiritual, you've got a really nice combination. So my take on so when it comes to the psychic and mediumistic, there are some people that are born with them mediumistic ability, so what it is, is a frequency, it is not just a frequency, but it's also a source of frequency, it's a vibration. And I used to say it's, it's in your brain. And they've also now they've done studies on the god gene. And I'm beginning to believe that there's no such thing as a god gene. Because if you've looked at it this way, who would ever surrender the life to live in a monastery for like, a whole entire life or back in the day was none raised. And you know how, like, there's some people that will sit in meditation, and they will just really thrive in meditation. So there's, there's a thing I believe, as a god gene. And so when it comes to the mediumistic things, I have been teaching these now for many years. Even people that say that, Oh, I'm not getting it, I have this intuition about how to get them to the point of being able to say what they are perceiving in their mind, because when it comes to spirits, it is reception and perception, reception and perception. And so if we begin to open up either the hearing or the seeing and allowing us, like if we allow ourselves to really sort of fall into this path of feeling spirit around us, if we feel them, we can see them, we can hear them. And that is just sort of simply blending and merging with them so that you can process what they're bringing to you. And I think that the more of us that can come closer to the connection to spirits, the kinder, more wonderful Earth on planet we will have. And so there are people that are born mediums, but everyone is born psychic. So there's this difference in those two. So, every medium is a psychic, because we're all born psychic, but not every psychic is a medium.

Victoria Volk  28:03
Gotcha. And I you know, I personally have recognized that well, and you can speak share your perspective of this, but I feel like grief really kind of shuts off the valve of our intuition in a lot of ways. It did for me anyway, like I was very closed up in like us so similar. I was I wouldn't have called myself atheist, but I really blamed God for everything that happened in my life and was like, nope, ain't gonna do you know, by not going to have it and I believe to like, you go on the ground and that you that's what happens, you die and there was no feeling a connection at all. There was no I didn't feel it. And it wasn't until probably in my early 20s when I heard something that shifted everything for me and really sparked a curiosity back in my heart. And that led me down a different path and changed my life really, which led to later grief recovery, which opened the floodgates like grief recovery for me my personal work opened the floodgates I became a Reiki Master that like just like put the valve on overflow, you know, so I feel connection now. I feel something I never did before. So can you speak to that? So bit more to

Sirry Berndsen  29:40
Yeah, so when you were talking I was just thinking like prisoners. They say about every seven years we go through these cycles and those people that are really into into astrology that know about the seven year cycle, I think it has to do with I'm not an astrologer. If I remember correctly, though, I think it it has to do with Saturn return There's a term that I like I understand the basics of it, but I don't understand the full extent of it. So every seven years so most likely when you went through your epiphany probably was around the age of 21 give or take, right?

Victoria Volk  30:12
22, yeah?

Sirry Berndsen  30:13
Yeah, it's the same thing you know, I mean my case I think I was about maybe, I think it was maybe 29 or so do you know like, it's really close to the 28th year and so it's like every seven years you go through these shifts and changes and so it's a seven year cycle. And it's like they also talk about if you go into the ocean, they talk about the seventh wave is the big wave. It's really interesting and also if you do numerology and you look at the the essence of numbers the light the number seven is considered to be the most spiritual number four, if it's a life number, like if you calculate your date of birth, you can see what you llife path is. Numbers are fascinating

Victoria Volk  30:58
They are, I've always been fascinated with numbers I was an as a kid, it's interesting because as a kid I, I was into, like, I was the kid that got like the poem book from scholastic palm reading book and, and the astrology books. And, you know, so I was that kid, but I really wasn't like, I really hid those interests. I didn't share those interests with, with others, you know, but it's interesting how life comes full circle doesn't, isn't it? Like, yeah, full circle, like I'm coming back to all that stuff. And, and my faith, though, and that's what I would like you to speak to, too, because I am Catholic. And I'm a convert, actually. And for anyone who's listening who did not know that, and so can you speak to maybe that piece?

Sirry Berndsen  31:49
So yeah, so this is interesting because I'm, I'm getting close to becoming a minister. I'm doing a training. Yes, I'm doing a training under Reverend john and havik. She's up the journey within and becoming a spiritualists minister. Because I love to study I love to learn, like if there's anything that I can study, I'll take it on. I even applied for a Ph. D. program a few years ago, and I got accepted, but at the time, I didn't really have the time or the money. So I decided not to do it. But so yes, when it comes to religion, I think that theology and religion is an interesting thing. It's such an interesting, fascinating thing. And I think because from my perspective, because I'm so open to different religions, I have people come to my office or have zoom sessions with me that are of all faiths. Granted, I come from a Protestant Lutheran background was just going to navy and but at the same time, never practice any of it. But we're also pagan, because we believe in the old gods, you know, the Odin and Thor and Tiede and all of those Freya and, and then I lived in Saudi Arabia, with with a Muslim prayers, and it was really divine. My roommates at the time, most of them are Catholic. They were Indian, but some of them also were Hindus. And then, surely while after that, I lived in Israel. And so I went from the Muslim culture to the very Jewish culture. Then I have my office in Boston, or in Brookline, Massachusetts is very Jewish, they call it little Israel. And I seem to be able to flow into almost any religion there is because I don't judge. There's like, whatever you're raised with, that is what you raised with. But this has been my perception, many religions, they say to you that Oh, you should not be connecting with the dead. And my heart has always been questioning that. And I think it has to do with back in the day, especially I'm going to only speak about Catholicism from what I have perceived in the last 20 years, because a lot of the people in Massachusetts are Catholic, Irish Italian Catholics. And so been there in the Catholic Church. People back in the Middle Ages, they could not read. And so they started putting pictures into everything. And so and that everything was in latson, to keep people away from the mysticism of the faith. And so they would have the services and lots and and so it was really with Martin Luther, that the Protestants that he was translated into a language that they understood. And so when it comes to religion, if people have the ability to separate themselves from their childhood religions have the do's and the don'ts or you should do this or you should not do that with very rigid ideas. If people have the ability to separate themselves from that, and then dive into the mysticism of life, or mysticism of that religion, then they really see a lot of doors. Open up. And and I think that not just religion but it's also cultural practices, you know how like when we think about just for instance, if we think about Indonesia, most of Indonesia is Muslim. And but then when you go over to Bali, it is mostly Hindu. And they have a totally different way of living, but it's just an island of Indonesia, it's the same.

Sirry Berndsen  35:28
It's the same governments, but the big island is Muslim, and the small island of Bali is Hindu. If I remember correctly, I think there were also some Buddhists that I can't remember. But there are some faiths that keep it really simple. And they really preach about living in compassion, which is a Buddhism, Hinduism, they helped many, many different gods. And then there are those that question like, Well, why are you worshiping all these different statues? My thing is, let them do whatever they want to do, like whatever brings them joy. And I also do know that there's a lot of people that sort of frown upon the Islamic religion. And people that also again, they have to separate the ancient religion of Islam. And they have to separate that from what later on became, what governments were trying to dictate to the women, for instance. And why is that? Because they would have the women cover up on all of those things, like I questioned everything. But I do think that it really comes down to this, that God, or goddess, whatever you want to believe in, did not create religion, religion is manmade. And for that reason, if you can remove the sort of the history or the, the rigidness, of religion, you set aside, and then you go into the aspects of prayer. And what is this essence of God? Now I also have this thing that I think that god or goddess, I don't see, God has a gender, God has an essence lives within each and every one of you are God, I am God. And when we see the godliness within one another, we then are able to see the kindness in one another. And I do believe that we all have God within us. And I find it kind of interesting sometimes I get into this conversation about people that are obviously like race with race within a very strict religion. Doesn't matter which religion is they they believe that's how, and early on in my work as a medium. It was a kind of an interesting this. This says you asked earlier you asked if there was one session that stands out from another. There are so many that stand out like I had, I've done sessions with people that pass 911 or their witnesses. And I've done sessions where there was murder suicides. And I remember this is years ago, there was a there's a woman, her name is Beth. And she had three girls, and she was dating a guy. And the religion was not going really well. And one of the oldest girls and she decided to go to Florida with some friends. So she had flown out of Boston. Meanwhile, Beth was at home with a two young girls and the dog and the boyfriend was upset and he comes to the house and he shoots the youngest girl in the hallway. And then it comes into the bedroom where Beth is with her middle daughter and he shoots the middle daughter and sister her lights out. And then she was the mom. Mind you. He also showed the dog. And then what he did, he walked on to train tracks and he committed suicide. So now we toiled over a murder suicide with one of the girls was away. Thank god the girl was away because that kind of like saved the lives of the two sisters. And so when she had London in Florida, she was trying to call she was trying to call mom, but mom didn't pick up and so then she frantically started to call her dad, her mom and dad were separated. divorced. So she started calling dad and dad Okay, he'd go over to the house and he'll check out check up on mom when he entered into the house where he saw that the youngest daughter was shot in the head in the hallway and the middle daughter was in her mother's arm shot in the head to what is interesting is that the two girls survived. But mom passed away. And so there was a there was somebody that came in for a session with me and I brought everything through and then at one point they said well, so he committed suicide. Where is he? So this is what was a huge learning lesson for me. So I was connected to Beth the mom and I was able to see everything through her eyes. Like I saw the whole entire thing unfold and I saw everything through her eyes. I remember that I asked her like well where are you see since he He shot you all, and he killed you on the bog. Where is he? So when bad people commit crimes,

Sirry Berndsen  40:10
they go to heaven, but they go to what I call special ed. And so there's no such thing as hell on people, they need to sort of wrap their heads around, there's no such thing as hell. This is one place that we all go to, but we go to different levels, it's like going to a classroom or go to a school. And those that have done amazing work kind work, compassion work, they go into the higher grades is sort of like going to ninth 10th 11th grade. So what happened with him, he was put in isolation. And so in my mind, I could see her, she was able to see him through sort of, in my mind, it looked as though she was looking through like a one sided glass, but he did not see her. And so he was there in isolation. And, and then he had these spiritual beings, sit with him, and teach him about the lessons. But he had done. And so there's no time in this world. And this is something that a lot of people have a hard time grasping, there's no time in the spirit world. Now, would he be there for a one year and like in the perception of the humans on earth plane? Or would he be the mugger nobody knows. But it's very clear to me that he would be in this isolation, and he was, is kind of an infant learning how to walk again. So he's shown how to learn the impact of what he had done. And his soul also had to really work through the atrocities that he had committed. And with the spiritual beings, and they were guides and angels that we're trying to sort of bring the lessons to him. Now, there's another aspect of this also, which is Michael Newton, Michael nooner, he was a psychology PhD in psychology. And he wrote a couple of books, and one of them is destiny, or souls. And it's a great book, and I recommend it to everyone. And it's one of these books that you kind of had to read it. And then if you don't quite grasp it quite yet, you have to sort of go back to it and read it again. Or you can also get an audio book. So he talks about and also Brian Weiss talks about life between lives. And so for instance, we could then also perceive it this way that perhaps this guy, he was put into this base of life, he lives and we all come to this earth plane with lessons that we need to learn, and the soul, how we work through those lessons, it is up to the soul to grow. And some things are already decided upon before we come to Earth. Francis, before you came, Victoria, it was already decided that you would meet your husband, and you would have the kids to know like, there are specific things that are decided. But also there are things in our lives that come into our pads that depending on how we cope with it, how do we cope with it well, or do we not cope with it really well, that can really, sometimes interfere or veer off of the road a little bit. But for the most part, we have specific lessons we have to go through. So I'm going to share this one thing that I've been going through this last year, it's been sort of in the background, quite a bit in the past few years. But this past year really, really pushed me as a medium and grief person a little bit over the edge. And this is what it is when young people in this in this climate in this day and age when young people in America growing up, they are faced with so many drugs. And it is absolutely devastating to see in this past year 2020 I saw more suicides and overdoses in my practice that in any previous year.

Sirry Berndsen  43:59
And it made me think I reflect on this. Why? And it comes down to this and what like my philosophy today it comes down to this. I do not think it is the parents fault. But I think it is the I don't know if it's the government's fault, if it is the society how it is built up if it's the school system. I'm not here to play like I'm not here to blame or point the finger but I think people need to be aware of what is going on. When does it start on where does it start? And so recently, a friend of mine, she said she's got a couple of teenage girls, and she said to me that Oh yeah, like one of our daughters is on Prozac. And I thought to myself like was his only like 14 like, that's really young, isn't it? And she's all well it's considered to be normal like the, the nurse will call it call them up to the nurse's office. I'm like okay, here's your medication for the week or for the month. And I think it was like this is absolutely insane. But it started making sense to me. And so I'm even in America, I think it's probably America is one of the most medicated countries on the planet. And where does it all starts? is Big Pharma? What does that lead into? Like if a child is overactive is a child is just really hyper that is immediate, like there's a label on it, it has add, or it has ADHD. My thing is, Well, how about fixing the child's diet? How about taking out all of the ingredients in the food that are not supposed to be there? If you cannot, like if you reading a label on a food product, and you cannot understand it, why are you feeling that way? Child child references, Pop Tarts? What's in it? All these ingredients that are just nobody can pronounce toxins? What does the toxins do to the gut bacteria? We talked about children that like three or four or five years old, this is where it starts. And so the responsibility really goes down on that aspect, it goes down to the government, because the government says, Oh, yeah, you can put these things on the food, and that's okay. And so the children becoming sick, the microbiome is becoming sick. And then they begin to develop these behaviors that are not considered to be rational. And then they roll up in a system that Oh, yeah, let's suppress this symptom. And then if that doesn't work, let's try another one. Instead of instead of getting to the root cause of the issue, because the parent may be the most loving, caring parents, but they may not know what they're putting the child's bodies. And so as children are growing up, and then they like they're put on Prozac, or they put on Xanax or they put like they put on medication for different things that should be treated, it's not suppressed. And so this past year, I've noticed that children I mean, to me that children from the age of like, 16 1718, up to like 20 456, the amount of young people passing because they cannot cope, suicides, overdoses, that has really touched me on a grief level in this past year to put up like, I'm going through this whole ups, I'm upset about it, I'm angry about it. And but I'm turning that anger and frustration on sudden as I'm trying to turn it into more education. And so when people come to my office, I, when I intuitively I know, I know that like this little tiny little tweaks that they could do to get it better. You know, I point out to them, I'm looking to the microbiome, because the tummy is the second brain. And I tend to think of it this and we have the brain, we have the heart and we are the tummy. We have to love a three to work together in unity, to have a healthy family. I went off a little bit but yeah, that's this is in the past year where my grief has been sort of absorbing this young people of America, exceptionally talented people with such great hearts. You know, it's just my heart goes out to the children, to the parents, to the mothers to the fathers to the siblings.

Victoria Volk  48:13
And it's, I think to it comes down to the lack of support within a family unit, whether it be support from the community or support from the healthcare system, which is overloaded already, you know, there. And I think, when I hear my bandwidth again, is we talk about mental health. Yes, I wish we would take the word mental out of it, which would be emotional health. Yes. What is what will serve us in our emotional health? And you don't work through emotions by popping a pill.

Sirry Berndsen  48:55
Exactly. That is likely that is exactly what I'm talking about.

Victoria Volk  48:59
I'm reminded of a podcast interview I did a while back with Jordan Brody. And he was he's an openly gay man, and really struggled as a child with bullying and things like that, despite having a really supportive, loving, you know, father figure in his life, he, you know, just had other challenges, and really embracing right being a child that recognizes that they're different. And where he obviously said he felt different, but he was put on medication as an eight year old, an eight year old. That's an anxiety you know, and depression and add, I think ADHD, one of those, but he was brilliant. He was really smart. He was in a, like a gifted program. And he found himself pretending to be dumbing himself down for others and has created so much grief, like he couldn't even authentically live who he was his, his essence, his soul of what was his soul was wanting him to be and live into. He really suppressed all of it. And it started with, you know that medication didn't help. Right? Right. And as an adult, you know, when I interviewed him for the podcast, he has been off medication, he's not on medication anymore. He's living his best life, you know, but he dealt with addiction, then, I mean, that set him on the stage of going down a path of addiction. And within a week, I believe of our podcast interview, his brother passed away of an overdose. And he came on the podcast, actually to talk about a loss of his best friend to addiction. Yeah, and you know, so it's obviously was really it's prevalent in his family. But why? Why?

Sirry Berndsen  51:03
Why? Well, I've been like this last few month I've been digging into the why and I think that um, and you're so right, this should be this should be called emotional health or emotional well being. And, and I think that if you really get into the depth of things, because I actually studied journalism, I studied must mean media. And within that, it was also the the quote, unquote, the propaganda how to sell like there's not marketing, but how to sell an idea. And if you really think about it this way, when you have large companies, like pharmaceutical companies, putting money towards doctors or hospitals, and paying them, it starts from an early age, it starts from a well with visits with an infant, and well visits to the to the pediatrician now includes years, not just the weight and everything, but it also includes vaccination and large nations. I question those two today, simply because we do not need to put what is it 72 vaccinations and in an infant, and within the first two years in America, it is absolutely insane. And so I think that it comes down to this, the big pharma, they have way too much power. And from the moment a child is born, they have way too much power in a child's life. From a well visits to the first few years, the more that can give like the more that can give pills to the children. And that's where it starts. So in other words, I think that in so many ways, the big pharma, they are sort of the they're the drug dealers with the license with a golden license. I think the other thing also, I thought about this a lot, I don't think that a lot of doctors, pediatricians are educated about the side effects on the long term effects of these things. They are, I think a lot of them are just going by faith. Somebody a rep comes from a rogue company, and they say, Oh, we have these these these is seen as sort of like a shopping cart. Would you like some of these so you can give to patients? And I think this is where it all starts. And I really my heart goes out to the American youth because of this. Young people, like you just said with him. He himself was like he was put on these medications from an early age. And then he was on the podcast to talk about his best friend and then his brother passes away. When is enough enough? Because it all starts somewhere. Yeah, you know, and instead of instead of putting them on drugs, why not then create a group gathering we have these young children coming into someone's a wellness center, and they learn to sit in meditation or they learn to sit in the quiet and they learn about nutrition, and they learn about the blueberries and raspberries and they love like they learn about the herbal, herbal remedies and they learn about the wonderful things that nature gives us. Like I said, I started listening to audiobooks by Rudolf Steiner. And he was the one that sort of started the whole Waldorf. Are they the Waldorf School is that based on his ideology, and there's actually a website some guy, he's read all of his books, it's on Rudolf Steiner I highly recommended is sort of an old fashioned way of writing, reading and listening to it, but it's well worth it. But I picked that up. The closer we can come to nature with our children, the brighter future we will have with the children and the more we move away from the Big Pharma on the popping the pills, the healthier youth we will have, it's the future of America lives in the arms and the hearts and the hands of the youth and the parents, but it's the youth of America that will be able to build up the country to its greatest glory that I want was.

Victoria Volk  55:11
It makes me think of when you mentioned about like, you know, a center, like a youth center where they can learn these different things. It's like mentioned meditation, it's learning coping skills. Like, here's the thing, like, as adults, we don't necessarily cope very well, either. You know, it's like, because I feel like, and I've said this so many times, and you can, I think you'll agree, but adulthood is childhood reenactments,

Sirry Berndsen  55:36
adulthood is childhood via likeness, I can see that.

Victoria Volk  55:39
Every belief, thought idea, like everything that we are taught as children are our personal experiences that we internalize. And we project all of that, as adults, like we. It's like, like that cycle, that seven year cycle like these. It's like, you mentioned that the soul has this lesson it needs to learn. And it was actually mentioned by Dr. Chris Kerr, who is on the surviving death, he talked about end of life experience and has a book death is by the dream and he was on the podcast and talked about one particular experience of an old man who was a war World War Two veteran who, at the end of his life, the deepest pain that he was carrying all his life was came back to heal him, like his comrades came back to heal him. Of all the because he his job was to transport the dead on the ships, and his comrades came back at the end of his life. Oh, wow. And it was, you know, so I think of that and how, like what you said how the soul has this lesson, these I, I feel like after learning about end of life, going through end of life doula training and talking to Dr. Kerr, our soul has this experience at the end of life, probably beyond based on what you what you shared, right?

Sirry Berndsen  57:11
Right. Because I mean, then we have other lifetimes. When it comes to presses with the past life, past life regression. We have lifetimes before this lifetime and our minds. We think of everything as being a timeline. And it is in that light, like on the earth plane, it is a timeline. Everything has a minute, everything has a second, everything has an hour to it, everything has a calendar to it. But in the afterlife, there's no light, like there's no timeline, with a set of certain concepts. It's hard to grasp. And going back to what you just said about touch, both occur. I love his work, I think you also want to was a despot vision. So it's not like half remember, death has been a dream, or death. Okay. But that was about a dream. Yes. So I was actually talking to a friend of mine in the UK this morning, who's a doctor who is about to be transferred from the end of life care, being a physician at the end of life care to the ER doctor and, and I said to him, you know, you're meant to go there. And I think you're going to be entering the space of prayer. And he's like, What do you mean, he was pausing. And I said, Well, it was going to be the place of prayer. And, and I talked to him about Christopher curve, thoughts occur. And his TED Talk. And I said, years ago, it did, especially for a woman, this is a long time ago, I did a session that I never forget it. Most sessions I collect, they close my mind for the glimpses of a few sessions that stick in my head. So there was a young lady that came into my office and, and I knew nothing about her. Like, I never know anything about other people. Like when people come to my office, I just look at the first name on what type of session that booking. That's all I want. I just want the true first name, I don't care about the last name, they have to have an email so that I can actually email them information. But the rest of it are just first name and what excuse me what type of session and so I knew nothing about her as she comes to my office. And before I was going into my office, I felt there was this amazing light around her and I didn't understand what it was. But it was almost as if there was this huge choir of light beings that were like following me to this appointment. And in my mind's eye, I saw her as if she was she the the person in my office, she was done in front and central like the soloist, and this big choir of lights of beings behind her. And then in the session, I said to her, like I see that you work with people in a healing in a setting with the hospital in a healing setting. But there's a lot of people in the office life I want to come forward and thank you and there was this immense It was like a way was a tsunami of this light. And there was a tsunami of prayers and gratitude towards this woman. And I was able to bring through, like from that big choir, it was like 1000 people more, I was able to bring forth like a couple of them on a gave a really good description of them. And then she said, Well, this was one of my last patients. And so this woman, she was an emergency care physician for many years in the ER, and helping people, you know, survive or die. She was a very prayerful person. And so, and it was interesting to me to see it from the mediums perspective, that she is interesting also, because she was a scientist, so she didn't see it. But I saw it, and I saw this, it was sort of like the massive amount of it was like the wave of lights behind her was just immense, because she was working in the medical field and helping people die or alive, bring life or bring them into the afterlife.

Victoria Volk  1:01:06
I think the whole theme of this conversation really just comes down to it boils down to just connection, this spiritual, spiritual connection. Yes, of the essence of who we are our own spirit, and how we're all connected to each other.

Sirry Berndsen  1:01:28
Absolutely. And I think also the other thing also is how close we are to the spirit world. But I always say they walk, they walk with us, they walk among us. And the closer we bring them into our lives, the closer we bring in the angelic energy, the easier the Kinder, the more loving we become, the easier life will become like when things when we surrender. But instead of going against the instead of going against life, but when we surrender to the gentleness or the wave of life, we then create an easier path. And I see, I think it's the closest on the spirit world.

Victoria Volk  1:02:14
I see this parallel of we medicalize death and dying, but we also medicalized life. 

Sirry Berndsen  1:02:23
We do. That is such a good point.

Victoria Volk  1:02:24
Right? both ends of the spectrum. There is no there's no, where's the balance?

Sirry Berndsen  1:02:30
Well, where is the Yes. And it has become so scientific. That we have lost sight of the spiritual.

Victoria Volk  1:02:40

Sirry Berndsen  1:02:42
Yes. Because we are spiritual beings having human experiences.

Victoria Volk  1:02:50
In a nutshell, yes.

 Sirry Berndsen  1:02:53
Yes, we are. We are divine light beings. Having human experiences and grief.

Victoria Volk  1:03:04
Yeah, its a part of it. A healthy part of it. 

Sirry Berndsen  1:03:08
It is a healthy part of it. I also, I also do believe that the power of prayer can be so immense, because prayer is such a simple thing. And I'm not talking about prayers in heavenly Father, I'm not talking about those types of prayer, but I'm just talking about the simple voice within your heart, the simple chants the simple. Oh, God helped me get through this day, or like, it couldn't be very, you know, or God, protect my children. Or if even if we want to call on our ancestors, like mom or dad or grandma, please protect my child today. Those are in my mind in my heart. Those are prayers. And I do and I know that prayers work. I know the power of prayer is immense. And I do feel and I know that for sure that if we went back to the basics with children, and we brought in more meditation, the power of prayer on the essence of spiritual living on the earth plane. We would then have, have a future that is so much easier. And prayer doesn't need to be rigid. Prayer can be so simple. bring light to this person. bring light to this person. That is it.

Victoria Volk  1:04:24
It's really letting your heart live in intention. And yes, that energy out with intention. 

Sirry Berndsen  1:04:27

Victoria Volk  1:04:31
And I can say personally, prayer did change my life because I prayed for my husband. I didn't pray for him. I prayed for someone.

Sirry Berndsen  1:04:43

Victoria Volk  1:04:43
Now this was me not going to church ever right? 

Sirry Berndsen  1:04:46

Victoria Volk  1:04:47
Please bring me someone who is good for me. That was it was a very simple prayer, bring someone into my life who was good for me. And I knew my husband. For seven years. We were friends. Yeah, but we had, you know, when he went his way I went mine, we met a junior year in high school, when he moved to my town, but we did not date we did not, there was no like love connection at any point during that time. And with that prayer, all of a sudden, he was like, front and center, relentless in wanting to be in a relationship with me, to this day, it's like, you know, like, we didn't look at each other, like, Oh, I'm gonna marry you someday, in high school, or I want to date you know, seven years later, seven years later, right? And I still, like, there is no explanation. Like, he really didn't can even give me an answer. Really, like, yeah, prayer changed my life. And that, that set me on finding a relationship and discovering a relationship with God again, and my spirituality and faith and all of that, like it just Yeah, a very defining moment in my life. 

Sirry Berndsen  1:06:11
But I think also this goes back to those that prayer does not need to be a religious prayer. It can be if people want to, like if people want to go to the church, or the temple or the you know, wherever they want to go, and they want to do their prayers in front of their statues. They can do that, like messes with me, I pray all the time, my family, or I go out in nature, I sit on the beach, I will pray. For me, prayer is a part of breathing. You know, it's just a part of being and it's a part of breathing. And I pray for the strangers. And I think that when we find ourselves being aggravated or annoyed, but someone needs to pray, we need to send them even more lights, so that we can heal ourselves from that frustration, from that annoyance.

Victoria Volk  1:06:58
It makes me think of whole oponopono the four steps of it's actually just mentioned it with a client yesterday. It's I'm sorry, please forgive me. Thank you. And I love you. I think before I'm not even sure if it's in that order. I I've have a couple posts coming up about it. But you because really, it's it is what is within us that feels provoked, you know, what does this person provoking in me, what is it about me that needs to heal that feels provoked by this person? or you know.

Sirry Berndsen  1:07:37
It also goes back to the grief.

Victoria Volk  1:07:39
It does!

Sirry Berndsen  1:07:40
because what happened in our lives that causes grief, though, we then have to reflect on.

Victoria Volk  1:07:49
And that's what grief recovery does, right? The method itself does. It brings to the forefront exactly what needs to be healed. And what to work through in a guided supported evidence-based way, right? It's Yeah, yeah. I'm partial, I'm partial.

Sirry Berndsen  1:08:11
But I was interesting, because you also mentioned earlier that, um, when someone has such you that, like you said, some of you were grief, grief recovery person, and they said, Oh, that is depressing. That was their perception. But I think that we, when we, when we that understand grief on a deeper level, when we come out on the other end, we see all of the gifts coming to us what a gift it is. You know what a gift it is, but I met you on what a gift it is that I met a couple of your friends. It's a gift, and it all starts with one person.

Victoria Volk  1:08:48
Yeah. Because we're all connected.  

Sirry Berndsen  1:08:52
We're all connected. And we're all gifted and we are all a gift to one another.

Victoria Volk  1:08:56
So I want to really give something this has been amazing so far, but for Grievers listening, what is one tip that you would give are hurting heart listening today.

 Sirry Berndsen  1:09:09
So this is coming from me as the medium. I think with grieving with grieving people, and I think especially this is the thing I often reflect on what is hardest grief. I, um, there are two rooms that I have perceived to be the hardest ones, and that is the loss of a child. For both mom and dad. Oftentimes fathers have a hard time expressing it mothers that seem to have a little bit of an easier time expressing grief when they lose a child. And it doesn't matter how old the child is. It could be 3 million old it could be three years old, but the loss of a child is probably one of the hardest. And then also when people have been together like life partners, and when a woman becomes a widow where our mom becomes A winter and they're so in love with their soul partner. Those are two of the hardest ones it is more. But I think also went out when a young child loses a mother. That's another that's probably the third one that is the hardest one to sort of, cope with I think but even loss of a pets can be really hard for a child, but when people um, so for me as the medium when people lose someone, I say, take time for you. Sit with them, sit with them memories, listen to the music you both enjoy and look at the photographs when you feel ready to do so. If you know and here's a big deal if you know that someone is dying. If you have an older parent or grandmother who was dying, sit down with them and record their stories. videotape them. If you can take pictures, get your phone out, record them and say, Hey, Grandma, tell me about when you Grandpa, when you met, those stories become absolutely precious, more pressures on any stuff. Having someone's voice on a voicemail is precious, having someone's having someone telling a story on a video is precious, prepare for those types of things. Because once they're gone, their voice is gone. So in prep, so in preparation for loss, I think that do everything that you can to cherish each and every moment. Now we don't always have the time to prepare. But after someone passes away, take time for yourself. take time off from work. And if there are people in your life that are not being helpful, supportive, or conducive to your grief, let them go, someone else will replace them or they will come back into your life if it's really worth it. But take time to grieve, be kind and be gentle. And let yourself cry. Like just let the tears out. Go into nature, hug a tree, sit in the grass, go on the beach, do anything and everything that really brings you joy. And do it over and over and over again until it gets a little bit easier. One thing that I did want to say is after someone has passed and and you really feel like you want to connect with them. There's one thing that I've said to people make time for the spirits.

Sirry Berndsen  1:12:39
Write them letters, but doing this as a way that if you were to For instance, if you sit down every single time at the same time, let's say it's a Sunday evening at 7pm. Or you know that you're going to have some time during the middle of the week. And let's say Wednesday evening at 6pm. Make an appointment with your loved one it was pretty well and sit with them. Listen to your favorite music together, have the photograph on your lap have the photo of Next you have a piece of paper and a pad and write them a letter and tell them how much you miss them. And, and if you feel they are coming close, listening, take time, and just write down what they would say to you. Because that is true spirit communication, because that's when you have the flow. Going back and forth, you say one thing, I miss you so much. And then you may hear this very subtle voice in your head. And it's there as if they're back. And they may say the same to you, I miss you so much. It may be a child in the spirit world. And let's say a mother sits down. And let's say a mother lost a child unless the child's name is Rachel, I'm just making up, you know, Rachel, or Amanda. And let's go with Rachel. So let's say a mother sits down and she said Rachel, I miss you so much. And then the mom may then begin to feel the voice of Rachel in her mind. And if she brings her closer, if she brings her daughter closer, she made them feel her in her heart. And then she may feel as though her daughter's speaking to her, write it down, write letters to your child, write letters to not want to miss farewelled make the connection and hold on to those letters and you can always read them back. The more you do this, the more you deepen the connection and the one thing that I would also highlight if you can if people are sitting inside, light a candle praying, pray that they come to you pray that they merge with you, and they will come because they hear your thoughts. So I think that after someone passes away, I think that um, when we feel that our spirit is ready, bring them close so that we can merge with them and we can really, truly communicate.

Victoria Volk  1:15:02
Beautiful. I love that. What gives you the most joy and hope?  

Sirry Berndsen  1:15:07
I knew you’re gonna asked that because when I was I was thinking um I would say nature nature because it's interesting nature and animals. Nature is always there for me, nature never feels me. I can walk outside I can walk to the park I can walk to the beach, I can sit there and I can be one with nature. And it never ever fails me. Even in a snowstorm nature's there. I would say nature. Next up to that is the animals that eat terian I was a vegan for a little while. When I go home to Iceland. I will have fish shrimp, but that's as far as I go. So animals is the next thing and when I get a chance to sit with dogs or cats even the other day I've got a chance to talk to a duck than Shelby and I got a chance to sit with a goats and the god fell asleep in my arms you know I have this connection with animals kind of like St. Francis of Assisi I have because we can also communicate with animals just like we can do with people is the same vibration is just same energy. So I would say nature and animals so that brings me joy nature. And the I think also the mystery of the cosmos the mystery of the universe the mystery of all there is the mystery that lies beyond that brings me joy.

Victoria Volk  1:16:43
I love that because it sparks curiosity for me those things yeah, that brings me joy curiosity brings me joy.

Sirry Berndsen  1:16:51
You look at the stars and you wonder what is there.

Victoria Volk  1:16:55
I have a little follow up to our session that I had with you. And you had share during our session about my youngest and her connection with nature and and that she will Sunday understand the the importance of bees and just nature itself and herbs and in animals just she has a deep connection with animals and things like that two things. I mean, I want to share with you to follow up from our session. And one thing was we just very recently, this is a family from California came to our area and they brought their bees brand new company, they wanted to expand bought a place in our area. So they plan to come back year after year. And they put bees on our land. So we can have honey, we will get some honey and so interesting so that I thought oh my gosh, like that's crazy. Because the this we've you know, we've been here for like 1112 years, you know, never had the opportunity to have bees on our land or anything you know, so that's I found that fascinating. The second thing is a baby pheasant had just walked into my husband's work all by itself all by itself, like the mother I don't know if it got you know, yeah. Wouldn't lost his mother whatever, we bring it home. And my youngest was tried nursing that thing and not nursing, you know, like, yeah, making sure that it got what it needed. And she we had some birdseed and stuffers, some feet like stuff and she was crushing that up and feeding it by hand and putting water in a syringe and, and just really nurturing this baby pheasant just a little chick just at bay thing. And she tapped her foot and it would come to her outside and just really connected to this little baby pheasant Well, after three days, it did die. And she was crushed. Tears. We ended up burying her it was a female. But I just thought back to what you had shared. And the words that came to my mind was because she wants to be a veterinarian. And I know I'd share that in our you know, after you had shared all that I said, Well she wants to be a vet. And why came from for me after that happened was she needs to be a vet for an animal sanctuary. Yes. A sanctuary. Yeah, that's what kind of came up for me I guess, after that experience.

Sirry Berndsen  1:19:32
So you know, when I when I do my work they flow through because like I put my I put my ego
aside. And I was describing this a couple of days ago to someone I would say that 10 20% of my left brain is in full action asking questions. But then I will say at present our brain is in full flow with spirit communication. So the whole life review is really coming from spirit. It is your story and not even from Got the young kids you know I even forgot the you like not talking to you I forgotten the session I find it isn't that interesting is that I don't know you and I don't know your family I've never met your daughter um isn't it interesting how this spirits and I don't remember like if anyone came through for us it's like my memory is none like his nail but I find it interesting how this spirits how they know these things this this timelessness that is just absolutely divine and Bs you know it just is bs Isn't that interesting? Yeah. So I just had to show follow up was wonderful and I do hope as it becomes that for and also I hope that he becomes a holistic that because holistic dice they may I mean they make miracles happen holistic buts and I really hope it's going to be for a sidetrack but you know what is interesting when I was seven years old I there I remember this vividly To this day I buried my first bird and I remember the lights the light around me and my friend when we hold held a little bird, I think it was a robin or something and we held it on we were so just devastated by the death of a bird and then we put in a little hole and I still remember this like was yesterday the light around us and I was seven years old again seven. How old is your daughter? 

Victoria Volk  1:21:30

Sirry Berndsen  1:21:32
Oh so she's going to be a vet?

Victoria Volk  1:21:36
I don't know we'll see. I guess she wants to, that hasn't changed it's been few several years but she's said that

Sirry Berndsen  1:21:46
you can even if she even if she ends up not going down the road of being a vet then she can always be a farmer. And she can nurture love the animals and the plants around her. 

Victoria Volk  1:21:59
Yeah, she's very much Let's get her hands dirty playing the dirt. 

Sirry Berndsen  1:22:05
So she’s probably incredibly healthy. 

Victoria Volk  1:22:09
Yeah, she is, yeah. 

Sirry Berndsen  1:22:11
Most kids they get to play on the dirt. They're the healthiest ones of all.

Victoria Volk  1:22:16
Yeah, and we've gotten so far away from that to like I remember playing with old tractors and cards and making roads in the dirt and you know now it was outside all day, every day.

Sirry Berndsen  1:22:29
Yeah. I was just a way I was away from my playground was the beach and and it was like walking around to the seaweed I'm playing with the seaweed and also digging in the dirt and it was a childhood. It was a magical childhood. Outside all the time and I remember when I was 10 years old in the summertime we could stay outside until 10pm when I was 11 years old, we only were talking about like June July August, we could sell 10 until like 11pm and then when we hit like 13 we're able to stay on till midnight. Keep in mind the summers in Iceland. The sun doesn't set so it's daylight all night long. So there's no difference of daylight.

Victoria Volk  1:23:14
I saw a video actually of a woman I made on Instagram are some things from Iceland and she documented like documented that and I'm just like Wow, I can't imagine I can't like you know, it's just something you can't wrap your head around.

Sirry Berndsen  1:23:31
Have you know, like for instance, when we talk about nature and magic. So now we have a we have in Iceland we have volcano that is erupting. And there's not one of these big plumes that is coming that is coming up but it's one of these with a lava field growing and growing and growing and I was in Iceland the other day and and I had been asking people around like you know how difficult is the track to get up there and there's a well it's gonna be like an hour and a half walk and whatnot and I'm not in a good shape. Because I live in this city and I don't get into nature much but I was in a car accident a couple of years ago until my like I'm still paying the price of that, like my walking and everything. But I thought it was like you need to be there. And I walked for probably about an hour and a half up this hill and sort of up this hill and Donna Valley and up another Hill to sit on top of another mountain and I was just watching this lava just sort of spewing up out of this tiny little tidal mountains a mountain that is beginning to be created. I saw this lava coming up and I saw the lava flow and the magic of the earth I mean just thinking about the force of nature that is below our feet coming up through the cross and just flowing like with the black and with a red fire and and it was just absolute Magical to observe because I was sitting on top of this mountain it started raining and that is it started like then it was sleet and then there was hail. And it was freezing cold. But I loved every minute of it. We just observing nature coming to creation.

Victoria Volk  1:25:23
When we think we're in control, right? 

Sirry Berndsen  1:25:25
Oh, yeah. 

Victoria Volk  1:25:26
Nature reminds us. No, no, you're not.

Sirry Berndsen  1:25:30
Yeah. Anyway,

Victoria Volk  1:25:31
oh, this was so wonderful. I feel like I could have talked I could talk for another hour easily. But is there anything else, any guided message you feel like you would like to share

Sirry Berndsen  1:25:43
When it comes to refund laws, I would like for people to go within and tap into the depth of love and the depth of love loss. Mercy doot doot. Together, love them love to come to the surface when you're ready. And when love comes to the surface, you know that you will have this wisdom all around you and you will conquer anything and everything around you. And know the spirit is always in your hearts just so far away. The spirit is always around you. And spirits through the power of prayer will help you work through grief.

Victoria Volk  1:26:23
Thank you. Thank you for being here.

Sirry Berndsen  1:26:27
Thank you so much, Victoria. You're awesome.

Victoria Volk  1:26:30
Aww, right back at you. And remember, when you unleash your heart, you unleash your life. Much love. From my heart to yours. Thank you for listening. If you liked this episode, please share it because Sharing is caring. And until next time, give and share compassion by being hurt with yours. And if you're hurting know that what you're feeling is normal and natural. Much love my friend.