Are you truly living if you're ignoring the inevitable end? This question might feel heavy, but Greg Barnsdale doesn't shy away from it; he has built a movement around it.
Greg is not your typical undertaker. With his diverse background as a Certified Financial Planner, Certified Executor Advisor, and death doula - topped with personal experiences that have tested his own mortality - he brings an unparalleled perspective to life’s final chapter.
In this episode:
Did You Know?
Despite being an expert in end-of-life matters himself, even Greg faced procrastination regarding his arrangements. His candid story will challenge you to think differently about tomorrow.
After penning a book on end-of-life preparation and facing his brain tumor diagnosis, Greg has become a vocal proponent of what he calls the "mortality mindset movement." He shares his insights into why embracing our inevitable end can lead to profound benefits like stress reduction, family harmony, and emotional resilience.
Greg's diverse background, from directing funerals to advising on estates, gives him a unique perspective on why having those tough conversations about death now is critical rather than in times of crisis. His own brush with mortality served as a stark reminder that life is unpredictable and planning ahead is key.
We also delve into how societal views on funerals are shifting towards more personal and intimate commemorations. Plus, Greg offers practical advice for both simple DIY estate planning and when to seek professional help for more complex scenarios.
His message? Don't wait until it's too late - start talking about your end-of-life wishes today. It's not just about ensuring peace of mind; it’s about living fully right up until the last moment.
RESOURCES:
CONNECT:
_______
NEED HELP?
This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.
Would you like to join the mission of Grieving Voices in normalizing grief and supporting hurting hearts everywhere? Become a supporter of the show HERE.
Are you truly living if you're ignoring the inevitable end? This question might feel heavy, but Greg Barnsdale doesn't shy away from it; he has built a movement around it.
Greg is not your typical undertaker. With his diverse background as a Certified Financial Planner, Certified Executor Advisor, and death doula - topped with personal experiences that have tested his own mortality - he brings an unparalleled perspective to life’s final chapter.
In this episode:
Did You Know?
Despite being an expert in end-of-life matters himself, even Greg faced procrastination regarding his arrangements. His candid story will challenge you to think differently about tomorrow.
After penning a book on end-of-life preparation and facing his brain tumor diagnosis, Greg has become a vocal proponent of what he calls the "mortality mindset movement." He shares his insights into why embracing our inevitable end can lead to profound benefits like stress reduction, family harmony, and emotional resilience.
Greg's diverse background, from directing funerals to advising on estates, gives him a unique perspective on why having those tough conversations about death now is critical rather than in times of crisis. His own brush with mortality served as a stark reminder that life is unpredictable and planning ahead is key.
We also delve into how societal views on funerals are shifting towards more personal and intimate commemorations. Plus, Greg offers practical advice for both simple DIY estate planning and when to seek professional help for more complex scenarios.
His message? Don't wait until it's too late - start talking about your end-of-life wishes today. It's not just about ensuring peace of mind; it’s about living fully right up until the last moment.
RESOURCES:
CONNECT:
_______
NEED HELP?
This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.
Would you like to join the mission of Grieving Voices in normalizing grief and supporting hurting hearts everywhere? Become a supporter of the show HERE.
Victoria Volk
00:00:00 - 00:00:14
Welcome to another episode of Grieving Voices. Today, my guest is Greg Barnsdell. He is an unusual undertaker. After years of stressing to others, get your grief get your excuse me, Get your affairs in order.
Victoria Volk
00:00:14 - 00:00:39
And finally publishing a book to inspire others, he was diagnosed with a large brain tumor. Faced with a death sentence, he opted for surgery. He's now emerged with an extremely compelling message shared by few others. As a certified financial planner who is also a certified executor advisor, his perspectives are unique. As a death doula who has published a well received book regarding the importance of planning and ahead.
Victoria Volk
00:00:39 - 00:01:16
His message is gaining solid traction. He stresses what he calls the mortality mindset movement where followers uphold their living legacy and becoming the best versions of themselves and ultimately leave their last legacy as the best one possible. His claims include the fact that end of life planning reduces the stress of aging, improves family harmony, creates greater emotional and financial resilience and increases social capital and improves court efficiency. And a growing number of people firmly agree. And as an end of life doula myself, I wholeheartedly agree as well.
Victoria Volk
00:01:16 - 00:01:35
But have I personally done my own homework? I will admit that I have not. I think about it a lot, actually. Like, just even the fact that when you have a business, right, like, it's even more important that I mean, I was just thinking about it the other day. I'm thinking, oh, my gosh.
Victoria Volk
00:01:35 - 00:02:02
Like, if because I have an 18/17 and 15-year-old. And if I something happened to me, and I'm just thinking about my business and all these accounts and different like auto like this, all these autopay stuff I have, like all of this stuff, like, oh, my gosh, That'd be so overwhelming for my loved ones. You know, incredibly overwhelming. And my husband is not, like, tech-savvy at all. He would be just completely distraught.
Victoria Volk
00:02:02 - 00:02:21
So I know a lot of it would fall probably on my middle. And she's only 17. Yeah, I need to get my act together too. So thank you so much for joining me today and maybe encouraging all of us to finally get our affairs in order and doing some planning ahead.
Greg Barnsdale
00:02:23 - 00:02:41
Well, thank you for having me Victoria it's a It's a tough topic, isn't it? And it's something that a lot of us don't want to face because we just assume that each day will carry on and tomorrow will be the same as today and yesterday was. It's not an easy subject to think about.
Victoria Volk
00:02:42 - 00:02:46
How many years have you been working in the death space?
Greg Barnsdale
00:02:46 - 00:03:39
Well, I've worked in a number of different roles, back in the, I'm almost 60 now. But when I was, almost 20, I joined the, funeral industry. I wanted to be a helicopter pilot actually, but didn't have enough physics, so I ended up being an undertaker, which was a bit of a shift. And I worked at that for a decade in large and small funeral homes and really enjoyed it, and my family were not in the industry at all. It shocked my parents and my sister when I told them that I wanted to be a funeral director, but that's what my guidance counselor had actually recommended in high school. So, I enjoyed that industry, and then I actually changed, kept my funeral director's license and actually joined the financial planning industry, and enjoyed that for quite a number of years too.
Greg Barnsdale
00:03:39 - 00:04:20
I gained the certified financial planning designation and I always knew that the experience that I had in the funeral industry and dealing with families at the time of a death, and also helping many people pre-plan ahead of time, for their funeral, would somehow I'd be able to create something that would help people. And All my financial planning clients knew that I was a funeral director as well, and I was always eager to speak to them about putting plans in place and updating their life insurance make sure they had a current invalid will and all those things so that if something happened, their family would be in far better shape than they otherwise would.
Victoria Volk
00:04:21 - 00:04:35
I wanna go back to that guidance counselor. What do you think it was that he or she saw in you that recommended or suggested that? And what was it in you that was like, oh, yeah. I think I would like that. Just curious.
Greg Barnsdale
00:04:36 - 00:05:04
I don't know Victoria, but I suspected it was the fact that I was a rather quiet person. I still am. I'm very much an introvert as opposed to an extrovert, But I think it was that and maybe my interest in medical issues and science and those sorts of things. But in this smaller high school that I attended, I think I was only the second student in its history to join the funeral industry, actually.
Victoria Volk
00:05:05 - 00:05:24
Once you got into it, though, like, it does definitely take a special person, Right? So what do you think it is about you though, that you were so successful in that endeavor? You know, because so many people, especially at 17, 18, like, they're lost. They don't have a clue what they wanna do.
Victoria Volk
00:05:24 - 00:05:36
And, you know, you kinda just pluck something out of the air and hope it sticks and off majority of the time, it doesn't. Right? Like, it's yeah. So right. That's a grief too.
Victoria Volk
00:05:36 - 00:05:49
Like, a loss of hopes, dreams, and expectations for your life. Like something that this other thing you wanted to do, but you fell into this and it turned out it worked for you. But
Greg Barnsdale
00:05:43 - 00:05:43
Yes,
Victoria Volk
00:05:43 - 00:05:49
What is it about you like? What makes a special undertaker?
Victoria Volk
00:05:49 - 00:05:55
I guess when people are looking for someone who they're entrusting, really,
Greg Barnsdale
00:05:55 - 00:05:56
yes,
Victoria Volk
00:05:56 - 00:06:03
their loved one, their morning experience to, like, what are some things that you recommend that people look for?
Greg Barnsdale
00:06:04 - 00:06:42
Well, it's a compassion for other people and what they're going through and having empathy with those people and knowing how to help them and listen to them I don't think I had any special unique skills going into the funeral industry but as I joined it and worked with others and learned about the industry, I actually enjoyed it, which to some people may sound a little unusual but working in that industry gives employees or workers in the death care industry a lot of personal satisfaction knowing that they're helping people on the worst day of their life.
Victoria Volk
00:06:42 - 00:07:52
It is one of the worst days of someone's life. Right? It is an experience that on oftentimes it's unexpected and it's and like we were talking before we started when we started recording, It's overwhelming. It's just a completely overwhelming process.
Greg Barnsdale
00:06:52 - 00:06:52
Yes
Victoria Volk
00:06:52 - 00:07:08
And to be able to sit with people in that time of need, Did you have a lot of experience with death prior to that?
Victoria Volk
00:07:08 - 00:07:20
Like, had you had what had what were the lessons and what were the beliefs and things that you had about death and experiences that you had before you went into that industry?
Greg Barnsdale
00:07:22 - 00:08:36
Well, one of the more significant, events in my life was the death of my grandfather, of a heart attack, actually, just prior to me attending college to become a funeral director But other than that, I didn't as I said, I didn't have any family in the funeral business I didn't have any direct ties to the industry. But, a good friend of mine actually in high school ended up working for this small town funeral home, cleaning on a part-time basis after school. And behind the funeral home was an ambulance service which used to be quite common years ago but, anyway, I would go and visit my friend Mike occasionally at the funeral home and then I got to know some of the staff and some of the ambulance attendants and then it just seemed like an interesting atmosphere to learn more about and then I inquired about going to college that was my plan B as I said because the other occupation didn't work out for me so I ended up going that route and I'm so glad that I did because I worked in the industry for quite a number of years and I still have my funeral directors license So it's been almost 40 years now that I've been a licensed funeral director.
Victoria Volk
00:08:36 - 00:09:01
What are some mistakes, learnings? I hate to say mistakes. I think everything is a learning experience. But what are some things that people need to understand about that process and maybe some tips that you can provide people when they're going through something going through a loss and find themselves having to speak with someone like you.
Greg Barnsdale
00:09:01 - 00:10:10
Right. Well, the most top of mind thought that I have really comes back to this book that I've published.And the primary message of this, Victoria, is for people to try and embrace this whole aspect of the fact that ultimately we will die, and it's important vitally important that we get thinking about this and plan for it. There are so many people and I saw this in both the funeral industry and when I worked in that industry I don't anymore I'm promoting this book full time but when I also worked as a certified financial planner and also as a certified executor advisor as you mentioned in my bio, I've seen so many situations where people have been reluctant to plan, they've been reluctant to talk to their family members or in some cases they go I suggest they talk to their children about educating them on what they want and where their will is and the plans that we've been putting in place financially, etcetera. And in some cases, the children don't wanna talk about it or they'll say things like, oh, dad, don't talk about that. You know?
Greg Barnsdale
00:10:11 - 00:10:34
I get it that people are uncomfortable with, so much of this, but in overcoming that uncomfortableness in the short term and talking and planning around what we want in regards to our end-of-life experience and for our legacy, etcetera, makes it so so much easier for those that we love after we're gone.
Victoria Volk
00:10:35 - 00:11:06
Considering there's so many different ways that people leave this their physical bodies, you know, tragic accident, cancer, you know, where you have maybe more time and maybe with, with the diagnosis, maybe you don't even have a lot of time. Sometimes people pass
Greg Barnsdale
00:10:50 - 00:10:50
Yes
Victoria Volk
00:10:50 - 00:11:06
really quickly after a diagnosis. Is it advised that people find someone, an executor or a financial planner? Like, what are the steps that you recommend people take if there's if they're yes. I read your book.
Victoria Volk
00:11:06 - 00:11:12
Do not ignore your mortality. I wanna do this. I wanna get started. Where do I begin?
Greg Barnsdale
00:11:12 - 00:12:20
Well, the first initial steps should be speaking with those that you love, those that are closest to you about what you want to have happen. And within my book, I list some of the, questions that I think are good effective questions. And people tell are telling me that after reading my book, they're inspired to get talking to their family and pull out their will and read it and really lean into this which is awesome I'm that's really was the whole intention of this book that I want to share with as many people as I can because this is so desperately needed but that is the very first step, Victoria, is to speak with our family about do we want to be buried and if so where is where are past family members buried or do we want to be cremated or do we now people have the option of actually being recycled of all things so that you know the the funeral industry the death care industry is slow to change but it is changing and people need to know what their options are but if we don't communicate with others about how we're feeling in our values and what's important to us, it did it stalls.
Greg Barnsdale
00:12:20 - 00:12:21
It doesn't get going.
Victoria Volk
00:12:21 - 00:12:51
What do you think are the aside from not maybe the individuals themselves or the loved ones who just don't want to talk about it? And then something happens and then, you know, there's all this overwhelm happening within a family. And then you got dynamics. Right? Family dynamics
Greg Barnsdale
00:12:40 - 00:12:40
Yeah
Victoria Volk
00:12:40 - 00:12:51
where I mean, I've seen it personally myself in people I know in relationships where, you know, the parents pass or the last remaining parent passes, and they didn't have the stuff lined up.
Victoria Volk
00:12:51 - 00:13:01
And there's so much in fighting
Greg Barnsdale
00:12:54 - 00:12:54
Yeah
Victoria Volk
00:12:54 - 00:13:01
and relationships just deteriorate and blow up because of lack of planning.
Greg Barnsdale
00:13:02 - 00:14:03
Right. And ironically, Victoria, end-of-life planning are not only reduces the stress of aging but to answer to come circle back to the point the very important point that you just raised as we talk with our family about our legacy and what we want to leave behind and who gets what, etcetera, and if the cottage should be left or the the cabin should be left in the family home and who's gonna buy it and who's gonna use it or the family business or whatever it tends to that higher level of communication in regards to something that is truly in our heart about our legacy and who we are and what we leave behind tends to improve family dynamics and family harmony, and I get what you're saying. I too have seen it within my own family. You know? It it's so prevalent in families all over the place it seems but and is there such a thing as a normal family anymore?
Greg Barnsdale
00:14:03 - 00:14:20
I don't think there necessarily is but you're you're exactly right At the time of a death and afterwards, especially if the affairs have not been organized thoroughly and discussed thoroughly, it can often result in a frustrating mess.
Victoria Volk
00:14:20 - 00:15:04
I wanna kinda talk a little bit about and if you wanna share any personal story around this or examples of stories that you've seen, be feel free to, but I just for people listening, I wanna just bring this to the topic of grief. And when you have a loved one that passes, and we're talking about that dying that family dynamic, and you can have 4 people, 4 children that grow up in the same household that have very different relation. Every single individual in that family will have a different relationship with that parent. You don't always know as the other siblings or other family members what that relationship was like. Your parent could have had a really close relationship with a niece or nephew that they almost considered like a child.
Victoria Volk
00:15:04 - 00:15:45
Right?
Greg Barnsdale
00:15:05 - 00:15:05
Yes
Victoria Volk
00:15:05 - 00:15:45
That they include in the will, and then the children are kind of don't get something that this other individual got, and they don't understand it because they don't understand that relationship. They didn't know the dynamics of that relationship.
Greg Barnsdale
00:15:30 - 00:15:30
Yes
Victoria Volk
00:15:30 - 00:15:45
And I think that's where so much of this infighting happens is that we're bringing our perspective of our grief and our relationship with that person and that individual who passed and just emotionally vomiting all over each other is what we end up doing and projecting our own emotions about this loss and what this means for me and what this means for them. And, you know, they were always the favorite and they're getting everything.
Victoria Volk
00:15:45 - 00:16:04
And it was all these whatever the perspective was about the relationship, it's going to just completely manifest at this really old emotionally overwhelming time, which is to your point of why it's so important for us to plan ahead. Anything you would like to add to that?
Greg Barnsdale
00:16:05 - 00:17:16
You've hit the nail on the head, Victoria. It's the aspect of ignoring these sorts of things and doing nothing is very easy to do in the short term I think putting off these types of topics is is the easiest thing to do and we're all procrastinators at heart and we can all be doing things better, I think, to a degree For those that do ignore these types of things and don't have the conversations the chance of them dying and leaving a mess of frustration and bitterness and a lousy legacy and family in fighting is incredibly high plus the fact that more money is typically spent in regards to settling the estate could very well be that a good amount of money is spent on lawyers' fees to sort out the bickering and the fighting and the and I was speaking to and I was on another podcast, host session last week and he ended up spending over $50,000 in legal fees to sort out his situation that's why he wrote a book and it took over 7 years to settle the estates of his mom and dad. His brothers and sisters no longer speak to one another and he ended up having a heart attack in the process.
Greg Barnsdale
00:17:16 - 00:17:55
So you know that's just one story of many but the overriding solution to all of this is to face our mortality and accept the fact that we're not going to live forever. And at some point, we may become frail and unable to make decisions for ourselves. So it's also important to have something set up like a medical directive or a power of attorney as we call them here, in Canada to have someone speak for us if we can't make those decisions and it's not easy to set that up either because again, we have to face the fact that we might not be able to speak at some point.
Victoria Volk
00:17:56 - 00:18:40
I'm glad you brought the conversation there because I wanted to talk a little bit and bring a little bit more of the end-of-life doula,
Greg Barnsdale
00:18:01 - 00:18:01
Yes
Victoria Volk
00:18:01 - 00:18:40
background that we both have into the conversation because my father had been diagnosed with cancer and I think 16 months or so was how long he lived. He wasn't given that long, but he lived that long and we ended up in the nursing home. And, you know, now there's so many much more like hospice and home health. And there's so much more of those resources available now that there weren't back then. But I didn't understand one thing that shocked me when I went through my end-of-life doula training was that it is possible to have a death experience that you want, like, I did not even believe I didn't even know that that was possible.
Victoria Volk
00:18:41 - 00:19:27
Like, you can decide what kind of music you want to be what you know, if you want music played, if you who you don't want to come see you. I mean, and making sure that you have someone, you know, like the gatekeeper, right?
Greg Barnsdale
00:18:46 - 00:18:46
Yes
Victoria Volk
00:18:46 - 00:19:27
You have a gatekeeper that, you know, make sure that your death experience is what you want it to be. And once you pass, do you want to be washed and all of these things that I hadn't even considered that it just really opened my mind to, do you have any personal experience with because I personally have not utilized that end of life doula in my area, just because I it's a very rural area. And I'm still trying to determine what that service or what that offering would look like for me personally, in my area.
Victoria Volk
00:19:27 - 00:19:32
But do you have any personal experience that you would like to share or talk about in that regard?
Greg Barnsdale
00:19:33 - 00:19:59
I'm glad you brought that up, Victoria, because this too is critically important. And you're exactly right. I think the vast majority of the population is not aware of these sorts of things. And that's why these specialized types of podcasts like yours, that is so vitally important for people to tune into if they're interested in this. It's funny how I just said if they're interested in this but if their hearts beating they should be interested in this right?
Victoria Volk
00:19:59 - 00:19:59
Right.
Greg Barnsdale
00:19:59 - 00:21:15
But when I last year maybe it was 2 years ago now when I completed my hospice training as a hospice volunteer, one of the things that they had asked us as part of the exercise and the training was to, write down how we wanted to die. And in all my training as a funeral director, I never had to do that. I had to fill out my own death certificate and those sorts of things and write lots of practice obituaries in my initial training and so on, which was helpful for that role. But I had never been asked before how I wanted to die, and it seemed like such a bizarre question and some of the people in the room were saying well I want to be on the golf course or I want to be doing this or I want to be doing that and it's something that I think we should all consider at some point because you're exactly right we do have those choices now and we in Ontario Canada where I am, I'm seeing and hearing of more and more hospices being set up all the time and when I wrote this, created the research the manuscript for this book that I published last year I realized that there is such a massive demand for people needing to volunteer for hospice.
Greg Barnsdale
00:21:16 - 00:21:29
There's all kinds of facilities and services all are more and more all the time, but there is such a demand for people who unfortunately are dying, who are being admitted, and and they just need someone to come and speak with them.
Victoria Volk
00:21:29 - 00:21:57
That might just be the prompt I needed. Thank you for that. It's not just about like how you want to die or what that process is that you want it to look like. But like you said, it's very important that you have someone that you trust in, in that will have your best interest and will be steadfast in and committed to following through with what your wishes are. If you cannot speak, if you get to where you cannot speak.
Greg Barnsdale
00:21:57 - 00:21:57
Yeah
Victoria Volk
00:21:58 - 00:22:25
And that's a really difficult position to be in, and it's not for everybody. And then, you know, but if you, as the person who's, you know, preparing that transition has chosen that person, other family cannot argue that, right?
Greg Barnsdale
00:22:20 - 00:22:20
Right.
Victoria Volk
00:22:20 - 00:22:21
Like other family,
Greg Barnsdale
00:22:21- 00:22:21
Right.
Victoria Volk
00:22:22 - 00:22:25
they, you know, that's and how much distress and grief and in fighting will you eliminate by just simply choosing that person yourself?
Greg Barnsdale
00:22:25 - 00:23:26
And that fiduciary, as they're called in that role to speak on your behalf, may not necessarily agree with your wishes of what you want if you're, incapacitated and can't speak but he or she has to speak up for you at that time which again is vitally important but as an example if I have in my power of attorney that I don't wanna be put on life support and I would rather just die well my wife would have to speak up for me even if she didn't necessarily agree with that and I had a conversation recently with my elderly father he's almost 90. My mom died 4 years suddenly, and actually flatlined in front of me in the hospital which is another story but, my surviving father has recently decided that he wants to establish a do not resuscitate order so if something significant happens to him, he would rather just die. And that's, again, a tough conversation to have, but we've had the conversation between he and I and my sister.
Victoria Volk
00:23:26 - 00:23:55
And let's talk about your mom because I imagine that was very traumatic at the time and you didn't have time. Right? You didn't have the time to say all the things you wanted to say. And, you know, like what in the work that I do become emotionally complete, you know, as you maybe would have if someone was terminal and maybe you had a little bit more time in that process, but to have those deep and important conversations. So what would you like to share about that experience and what you glean from it after that?
Greg Barnsdale
00:23:55 - 00:24:28
Well, I guess the biggest thing, Victoria, is the fact that life can change on a dime. You know, my 82-year-old mother was rather active. She was an organist in a church and she had she was the organist at the local funeral home that I had worked at in this small town and she helped work for that funeral home for decades as the organist and she was out Christmas shopping with her girlfriend and after lunch she actually slipped and broke her hip ended up in the hospital broke her wrist as well and her mom died this way ironically in
Victoria Volk
00:24:28 - 00:24:28
Hmm
Greg Barnsdale
00:24:28 - 00:25:24
very similar fashion years ago but, we said to her mom you'll be fine you know we'll get you some physio they'll be you know fix your wrist and it'll take some rehab and such but you'll be at home again with that in no time and then I was visiting her the next day she flatlined and here I was sitting there studying for my next estate planning exam and, and she flatlined all these nurses and doctors came in they started aggressively doing CPR and then they put her on life support and she died the next day so and it all seemed like a bad dream and just because I'm a funeral director doesn't mean that I'm immune to the same types of feelings and turmoil etcetera. It was painful, incredibly painful, But I was so grateful that she had taken the time years ago and we had she and I had numerous conversations about what she wanted, primarily, I think, because I was a funeral director.
Victoria Volk
00:25:24 - 00:25:30
The burden that took off your father as well at the time, because here he how long had they been married?
Greg Barnsdale
00:25:30 - 00:25:32
Decades. They were married in 1960.
Victoria Volk
00:25:32 - 00:25:35
You know, so he lost his lifelong love.
Greg Barnsdale
00:25:35 - 00:25:35
Yeah.
Victoria Volk
00:25:36 - 00:25:46
In an instant. And imagine that's like losing a limb, you know, you feel like you've lost a limb and a part of yourself and the overwhelm that that brings. Right?
Victoria Volk
00:25:46 - 00:25:55
So I'm sure that your presence and what your education and knowledge was a gift to them. And in that time too.
Greg Barnsdale
00:25:56 - 00:26:44
Yeah, well I think it certainly made it easier to a degree but it still seemed like a bad dream and so many people would had commented at the time of the funeral about how it was just so hard to believe that she was gone. And I've heard families say this so many times when I worked in the funeral business, that you know here we were sitting down in a funeral home arrangement office discussing you know all the details about the upcoming funeral in the next few days and when the body is going to be released from the hospital after the autopsy and all those sorts of difficult conversations that I had to have with families as a funeral director and quite often they would say things to me like I certainly never expected this to be part of my day today
Victoria Volk
00:26:46 - 00:27:02
My mom is gonna be 81. She still works. She still can get around and, you know, doesn't need a walker or a cane or anything like that. And I feel like I would probably be thinking the same thing to myself. It's she was out shopping, right?
Victoria Volk
00:27:02 - 00:27:09
Your mom's out shopping. I mean, I could totally see that with my mom. And one of my mom's greatest fears is falling on ice.
Greg Barnsdale
00:27:09 - 00:27:09
Yes,
Victoria Volk
00:27:09 - 00:27:36
And breaking a bone and breaking her hip and she will not go to work. She will stay home if it is really icy. Or if there's been a lot of, you know, weather the day before a couple days, which is like she that is one of her greatest fears. And rightfully so because just like you illustrated, it's like you think that they're gonna recover and, you know, they're gonna walk out of the hospital. And like you said, just need some physical therapy.
Victoria Volk
00:27:36 - 00:27:47
And, you know, a lot of people break bones and it doesn't end their lives, you know? So I imagine that, yeah, it was a shock.
Greg Barnsdale
00:27:47 - 00:27:53
Yeah. For elderly people, for them to suffer a broken hip can often mean their demise, unfortunately.
Victoria Volk
00:27:54 - 00:28:11
The healing process right. Is not as quick and it's, you know, you can, you're more apt probably to blood clots and things like that. That,
Greg Barnsdale
00:28:12 - 00:28:12
Yeah
Victoria Volk
00:28:12 - 00:28:21
Yeah, but this isn't the only thing that happened to you that kind of just flipped your world upside down in an instant. I mean you've had other things too and one of those was I think I mentioned that in your bio a little bit was your tumor.
Greg Barnsdale
00:28:21 - 00:30:09
Yes, as I jokingly say to my wife who has asked me for years, Greg do you want to get a tattoo, And I've always said no now I can say I have a tattoo I've got a 6-inch scar up the side of my head from having this non-cancerous tumor removed that too was a shock and as you said in the bio Victoria I have worked in and around death much of my 40-year career in various roles including a supervisor for one of the largest mortuaries in all of Canada actually so I've seen a lot but after taking years literally many many years to publish this, finally publishing this book with a message to help inspire people to plan ahead accordingly for their situation because everybody's situation is so different 2 months after I published the book with a professional publishing firm I get diagnosed with a brain tumor which seems so incredibly ironic. Her key thing about this was my general physician who told me about this didn't tell me if it was cancerous or not and I assumed it was cancerous but he said I'm waiting to hear back from an ear nose and throat specialist he should be calling me back here today and they want to set up an appointment with you as soon as possible because he showed me on the MRI in his computer it's a large tumor and this all started from a ringing in my one ear so if you know of anyone or any of the listeners have tinnitus or tinnitus I think it's called in one ear that's the kicker it could be a brain tumor quite often people have tinnitus in both ears and that's not indicative of a tumor but MRIs are more prevalent so they're noticing these more and more all the time mine was an acoustic meaning hearing neuroma and as I said it was large they removed most of it almost a year ago.
Greg Barnsdale
00:30:10 - 00:30:23
And the recovery has been really good. I've been very happy with it. I've lost all the hearing in my left ear, which was a known, risk going into this and quite likely. But I'm I'm willing to put up with that. But they removed most of the tumor.
Greg Barnsdale
00:30:23 - 00:30:30
There's still about 20%, that they couldn't remove because it's tightly wrapped around a number of facial nerves and my brain stem.
Victoria Volk
00:30:31 - 00:30:33
Yeah. I actually have ringing in my right ear.
Greg Barnsdale
00:30:33 - 00:30:35
You should get it checked.
Victoria Volk
00:30:35 - 00:30:40
But I was in the military too. So I've always just chalked it up to that. Thank you for that.
Greg Barnsdale
00:30:41 - 00:30:44
You're well. I hope I hope I hope it's all clean and you're good to go.
Victoria Volk
00:30:45 - 00:30:56
Thank you for saying that. But brings up the question then, how has that changed your perspective on your health? How has this experience changed that perspective of your health?
Greg Barnsdale
00:30:56 - 00:30:57
I'm kidding.
Victoria Volk
00:30:57 - 00:30:59
Yeah. You're being funny. I got it.
Greg Barnsdale
00:31:01 - 00:32:04
Well, actually, it's inspired me to look after myself even more. I truly do think, Victoria, that there's a higher power at work in my life that has given me a second chance because as I said, this tumor was non-cancerous. Then the recent MRI that I had is seems to be indicating and I'm still waiting to hear from the neurosurgeon actually but in the copy that I have from my interpretation of it as a lay person it seems that the tumor is not growing so I'm doing everything I can to look after myself and my wife is after me to a hearing aid but I think I'm getting along pretty well without it and I don't want to put up with the hassles of a hearing aid at this point anyway but it's truly given me I guess a greater appreciation of end of life issues because when I got home from that visit with the doctor my general physician, and he said, you've got a large tumor. The specialist is going to be calling you. I didn't get you I was home 20 minutes later, in my vehicle and walking into the house and my cell phone went off and it was the secretary for the specialist office saying Greg, can you come in Monday morning at 9 o'clock?
Greg Barnsdale
00:32:04 - 00:32:22
We wanna see you. So I thought for sure I was doomed and it was cancerous my wife was working from home that day so I didn't want to ruin her day with this terrible news that I had. So I didn't tell her all day. And then I didn't wanna ruin her dinner Thursday night. And then I didn't wanna ruin her sleep Thursday night.
Greg Barnsdale
00:32:22 - 00:32:47
And then I didn't wanna ruin her Friday. So I ended up telling her Saturday morning as Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On is playing in the background as we're having our coffee and tears are coming down my eyes, and she said what's wrong? So I had to tell her. So I did I had to face my own death after decades of telling all kinds of other people get act together and face this thing.
Victoria Volk
00:32:47 - 00:33:15
My husband loves Celine Deon. But that I mean, I was just I was kinda in the moment as you were saying it, and it's like, anyone listening, just see yourself in this scenario. Like, just see yourself in this scenario and what would you do and what do you need to do to get your act together? Do not ignore your mortality as the title of your book states, and it's a great title. It's very direct, and it's poignant. And, again, I haven't gotten my act together.
Victoria Volk
00:33:15 - 00:33:28
I actually have a folder that includes this is really sad. So I actually I don't even know where I got it. I think from the Veterans Administration, my husband and I are both veterans. And I think at one time, they were given these to the veterans. I'm not even sure.
Victoria Volk
00:33:28 - 00:33:37
Maybe we ordered it. I can't even tell you. But it's a folder that has all the documents that you would need to prepare,
Greg Barnsdale
00:33:38 - 00:33:38
Right
Victoria Volk
00:33:38 - 00:33:47
you know in advance. Actually, I do think we probably ordered it. But have we gone through them? No. Because I think we've actually probably had them at least 10 years.
Greg Barnsdale
00:33:48 - 00:33:48
Yeah.
Victoria Volk
00:33:48 - 00:34:00
At least. And, you know, now it's like, okay, well, we're kind of pushing 50. Probably, you know, but you think you always have more time.
Greg Barnsdale
00:34:00 - 00:34:01
Yes.
Victoria Volk
00:34:01 - 00:34:03
I think you always have more time.
Greg Barnsdale
00:34:04 - 00:34:56
I said that phrase a number of times to people, and we got a chuckle out of it as my craniotomy, my brain surgery was approaching and I was you know trying to get making sure all of my beneficiary designations were up to date on my insurance policies and pre-arranging for my cremation to take place with a buddy of mine who runs a crematorium and all those things to make it easier for my family and I jokingly said to a few people as my surgery was getting closer and closer, you know, hoping that I would survive it. Most people do survive these craniotomies these days, but it's still rather, concerning when you're the one going under the knife. Right? So I wanted to make sure that my affairs were truly in order, and I was so happy that I had them all in place. You know, I had to tweak things a little bit, but I would jokingly say to people, I thought I had more time.
Victoria Volk
00:34:56 - 00:34:56
Mhmm.
Greg Barnsdale
00:34:56 - 00:35:10
And it it's so very true. We all think that. Right? We think, as I say in the book, we're so many people just are wanting to avoid this, and they just make the assumption everything will be fine.
Greg Barnsdale
00:35:10 - 00:35:19
I'm gonna be here tomorrow. I don't need a will anytime soon. I don't need the life insurance anytime soon. I'm gonna be fine. It's we need to do this now.
Victoria Volk
00:35:20 - 00:36:13
I've always wondered why you know, when it comes to your health, it's like, why does it always take like a heart attack or you know, this health scare or something to like, wake people up to actually give a damn about their bodies and the one, you know, meat suit that they're given in this life. And then, but also to, I can say that with this, it's like, you know, you always think you have more time. What does it take for us to get our act together and put these affairs in order and make sure that we're making it as easy as possible for those who are left behind, regardless if we're 40 or 70, or 80, or 90. And, you know, and people, you know, if you live that long, then people say, Oh, you they lived such a long life, or they had a long life, or they had a good life. And I imagine people said that probably you heard stuff like that with your mom.
Victoria Volk
00:36:13 - 00:36:24
And it's like, no, she probably had another good she could have lived another 10 years. You know, who knows? Yeah, I'm sure your mom thought it too. She always you know, you think you have more time.
Greg Barnsdale
00:36:24 - 00:36:24
Yeah.
Victoria Volk
00:36:24 - 00:36:44
And that's just not. I mean, if the world has not proven to us enough through COVID, and just life itself and people that we know and the majillion bajillion scenarios that can happen. What's it gonna take for us to wake up?
Greg Barnsdale
00:36:44 - 00:38:02
Well, you're exactly right. The last 3 years with with COVID especially has really changed the world to a large degree and a large number of people actually decided to get their affairs in order through COVID because they saw how, how delicate life is and I think had a greater appreciation for it because it was so top of mind, especially during the height of the pandemic and who could have ever predicted that But when you come through the experiences that I have working directly with the dead picking up the dead arranging for the dead and also in the role of a financial advisor as a life insurance specialist inspiring people to set up the insurance that they need to make sure that their families will be properly taken care of based on their goals and objectives and all these sorts of things that's really why I wrote this book to be honest with you. It's a very brief conversation starter to get people thinking about communicating and the basics of funeral and cremation and burial planning and very basic information about estate planning and then the last chapter has to do with the medical directives and all of us are at risk of being incapacitated at some point. So it's really just it doesn't get into a lot of detail.
Greg Barnsdale
00:38:03 - 00:38:17
It's really just targeted towards getting Canadians and Americans thinking about these the very fundamentals of getting moving with this and leaning on other people who can help, and there's lots of them out there.
Victoria Volk
00:38:17 - 00:38:42
What is one piece of advice that through the passing of your mother and that experience and then your own health scare, like, what is one piece of advice? Because I'm sure there was obviously some grieving, obviously, with your mother, and maybe even to with, you know, your own health scare. Is, was there any grief that came up for you during that time? I mean, even after you knew it was not cancerous.
Greg Barnsdale
00:38:42 - 00:38:53
Well, for my mom, certainly. But in regards to my situation, Victoria, I guess there was. I I don't know. It's hard to say. It said I've been in and around death for so many years.
Greg Barnsdale
00:38:53 - 00:40:02
It was a wake up call for me, but as I said, it was a huge relief knowing that I had my affairs in order and as I stress in the book a lot the people who are forced to get planning these sorts of things when there is a health diagnosis which is not overly rosy like cancer as an example I've seen so many people try to organize what I call and many other people call it the same thing deathbed estate planning it's rushed it's inappropriate it's extremely delicate well maybe inappropriate I should take that back but when someone is in a hospital bed and they're and they're not doing so well, we're always, you know, bringing flowers and writing uplifting cards to get well soon and all those sorts of positive messages. The last thing that people typically want to talk about is you know , mom did you have where's your will? Or dad did you want to be buried or cremated? You know, we don't have those types of conversations with people when they're in a hospital bed or to ask them if they wanna steal or a wooden casket.
Greg Barnsdale
00:40:03 - 00:40:15
That's taboo. Right? People don't do that. And I totally understand why they don't want to. But that's why it's so vitally important that these conversations take place when times are normal.
Greg Barnsdale
00:40:15 - 00:40:18
Time is plentiful and minds are clear.
Victoria Volk
00:40:19 - 00:40:30
Thank you so much for bringing that up. That is actually a huge takeaway that I had from the end-of-life training that I had is that instead of having those conversations, even if you know, you have to have them.
Greg Barnsdale
00:40:30 - 00:40:30
yeah
Victoria Volk
00:40:30 - 00:40:51
And so instead of talking about fond memories, or having deeper conversations with your loved one, about things that you want them to know, or that you feel in your heart you need to share. Instead, you're having to ask what color casket do you want? Where is your will?
Victoria Volk
00:40:51 - 00:40:54
You're taking up that time for logistics?
Greg Barnsdale
00:40:55 - 00:40:56
Yes.
Victoria Volk
00:40:56 - 00:41:00
And things that, like you said, could have should have,
Greg Barnsdale
00:41:01 - 00:41:01
yeah
Victoria Volk
00:41:01 - 00:41:23
You know, and you get into that could have could have would have situation after the fact. And that's the tragedy, I think, to have what you call deathbed estate planning
Greg Barnsdale
00:41:18 - 00:41:18
Yeah
Victoria Volk
00:41:18 - 00:41:23
is that time is spent not having the most loving, fruitful, meaningful conversations and honest conversations.
Greg Barnsdale
00:41:23 - 00:42:13
Yes, yeah. Yeah, that's very true. And I think the best times, Victoria, to have these types of meaningful deeper conversations is when families are together you know I often think of Thanksgiving and how we it's quite I think prevalent with a lot of people to get together at Thanksgiving and think talk to each other and so on about what they're thankful for in their life well it wouldn't that be a great time to maybe bring up the whole aspect of our legacy and our life and what we're thankful for to have but what we're thankful to leave as well and to set up our loved ones for success instead of bickering and fighting and all the turmoil that can take place if we don't bring these these things up.
Victoria Volk
00:42:14 - 00:42:34
And that's a great point too. It's why not have those deeper conversations when we're all coherent, when we're all healthy, when we're all together and make the most of that time. It's it is not just about planning for your death. It's living more intentional
Greg Barnsdale
00:42:33 - 00:42:33
Yes
Victoria Volk
00:42:33 - 00:42:34
in your life.
Greg Barnsdale
00:42:35 - 00:42:58
Yep. And that's another part that I had realized as I was creating the manuscript, was that psychologists and various different articles within that community are so more frequently saying now than embracing our mortality, actually helps us live a more meaningful life and be in the in the present moment, and I think that is very true.
Victoria Volk
00:42:59 - 00:43:12
What has all of this taught you? All of your life experience, your grief, the industries in which you've worked. What has your grief in these areas taught you?
Greg Barnsdale
00:43:13 - 00:43:56
Appreciate every day you have. It can change quickly and I'm sure you know I've met a lot of people who have and this is kind of funny to say and I joke about it in my book I've met a lot of people who have died who I'm sure didn't expect to die in that day, who probably who very who I'm sure thought that they had so much more time ahead of them, yet here they are at a funeral home or a mortuary, and now the family's, having to deal with their death, and they, you know the deceased has no input in this. The time to have the input is when you can and that's why I'm using the slogan now, plan while you can. And I think that that's an appropriate phrase too.
Victoria Volk
00:43:56 - 00:44:16
Well, and for as individual, like, what have your say, I think that's an important
Greg Barnsdale
00:44:16 - 00:44:16
Yeah.
Victoria Volk
00:43:16 - 00:44:19
perspective to share with people is do you wanna have a say?
Greg Barnsdale
00:44:19 - 00:44:19
Yeah.
Victoria Volk
00:44:19 - 00:44:24
And what happens with you when you're if you're hospitalized or after you die or in the process of dying and you can't speak? And do you wanna have a say? I think a 100% of people would say a resounding yes.
Victoria Volk
00:44:25 - 00:44:26
And yet we don't take
Greg Barnsdale
00:44:27 - 00:44:27
Yeah
Victoria Volk
00:44:28 - 00:44:30
We take 0 action. We take 0 action on that.
Greg Barnsdale
00:44:30 - 00:44:30
Yeah.
Victoria Volk
00:44:30 - 00:44:37
Yaeh. I think that's the mind-blowing message here for people.
Greg Barnsdale
00:44:37 - 00:44:39
It is. Yes. Yep. Yep. I agree.
Greg Barnsdale
00:44:39 - 00:45:52
And you know what, Victoria? Over the last year and a half, roughly, I've been reaching out to a lot of people on LinkedIn who have similar who I'm assuming have similar interests from emergency room nurses to, lawyers to doctors, other financial planners and other funeral directors and even members of the faith community too about this message that I'm promoting. And I've told them, you know, ever since I published this book and I've been talking about and trying to create something that would really inspire a lot of people, and it took me a long time to really get to the point where I realized that writing a book would be a good way to do it. But the the support that I'm getting on this is actually quite strong, and it's inspired me to start a movement, and I'm calling it the mortality mindset movement and maybe I've looked online I haven't seen anybody else promoting quite this way but I'm hoping that more people get behind it but I'm referring to the mortality mindset movement where followers uphold their living legacy by becoming the best version of themselves and ultimately leave their last legacy as the best possible, And I think you had referenced that in my bio.
Victoria Volk
00:45:54 - 00:46:09
No. And I love that. And I have one I thought of another question. And so people listening to this, they might think, oh, well, it's gonna take a lot to you know, I gotta hire this person to help me do all this. And, yes, I wanna do this, but where do, you know, where do I start?
Victoria Volk
00:46:09 - 00:46:19
And I know you mentioned in the book, it's kind of like just kind of like an overview of all these different topics.
Greg Barnsdale
00:46:19 - 00:46:19
Yes
Victoria Volk
00:46:19 - 00:46:24
But for someone listening, like, can is this, like, a DIY thing? Like, can I, cause you know, I got this folder, and I got all these documents? Right?
Greg Barnsdale
00:46:24 - 00:46:24
Yeah
Victoria Volk
00:46:24 - 00:46:26
And I just need to sit down and do it, and I just haven't done it.
Victoria Volk
00:46:27 - 00:46:48
Is it something that can be a DIY thing and then you just need it notarized or you need it just something like that? Or do you do you have to, in air quotes, have to? Or is it recommended that you go with an expert, estate planning, financial planner, like all these different pieces? What do you have to share about that?
Greg Barnsdale
00:46:48 - 00:48:10
You can see me shaking my head here. Yes, you can. It can be a DIY project, Victoria for people that have a straightforward situation. Again, something that I try to clearly explain within my book to help educate people about when they should go beyond that and perhaps speak to an Estate Planning Lawyer and perhaps a financial adviser and or an accountant. But I when I wrote the book, I wanted to keep it as straightforward as possible because it's a tough subject in itself to even talk about so everybody's situation is different but if someone is has a fairly straight forward type of lifestyle where they do not, they're not paying child support they're not paying spousal support they don't have any business ownership issues they don't own property in another jurisdiction another state or another country so their situation is fairly straightforward it can very much it can be a DIY project but it comes down to communicating with your family and researching somebody these things online to get to know how things can be set up properly but for those situations where somebody has ownership in a business they're paying child support and they own a cabin or a cottage in another state or province or country or whatever, they should be seeing a lawyer.
Greg Barnsdale
00:48:11 - 00:48:24
And I know a lot of people are literally to engage a lawyer because of the perceived cost, But avoiding that can actually result in a higher cost after the death than if the person had have engaged lawyer in the first place.
Victoria Volk
00:48:25 - 00:49:00
As you explained and illustrated in that one story you shared where it cost him $50,000 you know, in 7 years of his life. And I imagined in that 7 years, it was a lot of stress and lost time at work and lost productivity and his life lost vacations or whatever. What is the, you know, it's not just the financial cost, it's the emotional cost of, you know, your physical self cost and everything else that probably went into that too. So thank you for making that distinction. And sharing that.
Victoria Volk
00:49:00 - 00:49:05
Is there anything else that you would like to share that you think is important that you didn't get to share?
Greg Barnsdale
00:49:06 - 00:49:41
Boy, it's, I think we've covered pretty well the bulk of what I'd like to say here, Victoria. But other than stressing the fact that anybody listening to this should really try to lean into this. I know it's not easy, but you can also leverage opportunities when someone else, a friend or a family member happens to be sick or if someone's been hospitalized or someone that , you know, they bring it up that someone, a friend or something has passed away. That's a good time to bring up your situation and say well, you know, did you know that I have a will? Or do you know where I keep my will?
Greg Barnsdale
00:49:41 - 00:49:51
You know, if something happened to me, and then just get talking about these things with those that you love and care about so that they're aware of what you're thinking.
Victoria Volk
00:49:51 - 00:50:27
Every time someone who my family knows passes away, I asks a specific person where her and her husband would want to be buried if they have talked about that, if they had planned that yet, because, you know, religious affiliations change over time. People, you know, may not go to the same church or they might and this is kind of the situation. And then family is actually buried, you know, out of state and they're somewhere else. And, you know, they might be out of state or somewhere else. And so every time this happens, I ask, have you talked about this?
Victoria Volk
00:50:27 - 00:50:39
Do you know what you'd want to do? Because I know, especially, you know, like their kids would be just overwhelmed with that whole thing. I just I know they would. And every time the answer is no. Don't know.
Victoria Volk
00:50:39 - 00:50:46
Not sure. And, you know, so it's like one of those things where it's like arrggh, but then at the same time
Greg Barnsdale
00:50:46 - 00:50:47
Yeah.
Victoria Volk
00:50:47 - 00:51:04
I haven't gotten my crap together either. So it's like calling the kettle black, So I don't push it too too hard. But, again, it's just one of those things. Like, I like you said, that's a great opportunity to bring it up and maybe just share what you would want. Maybe share what, you know, what you want to happen with you.
Victoria Volk
00:51:04 - 00:51:35
And, you know, for me personally, like, give my organs away. Like, I don't need them. Like, what good are they to me? And I would rather them, you know, that's the legacy that I would love to be able to give is life to somebody else like, wow, like, how many people you know, that's an opportunity that I see it as an opportunity. And, you know, someone in my life is like, adamant that that's, that's no, but, you know, I made sure my husband, and it's on my license, I'm a donor.
Victoria Volk
00:51:36 - 00:51:53
So, you know, it's just that's a small action people can take too. It's you know, if you wanna donate your organs, put that on your driver's license. You're stating that that's your wishes. And, I mean, that's at least one small piece you can do right now, today. Change it on your driver's license.
Greg Barnsdale
00:51:53 - 00:51:53
Yes.
Victoria Volk
00:51:53 - 00:51:54
That's what you want.
Greg Barnsdale
00:51:54 - 00:53:07
And I think a lot of people, Victoria, don't realize how needed organ donation really is and tissue and organs can actually be donated regardless of one's age but the other point that I wanted to bring up that you had mentioned a few minutes ago was the fact about funerals and people being buried out of state. Here in Canada we've seen this trend for a number of years and I'm quite sure it's also a prevalent trend in the US as well. Is that a growing number of people don't see the value in a traditional funeral anymore and they're opting for other types of ceremonies to take place which are much more casual perhaps in a legion or at a hall or something instead of a traditional 2 days of visitation in a church or a funeral home and then a funeral procession to a cemetery that just isn't happening as much anymore we seldom see a funeral hearse on the road anymore here in Canada and I'm sure it's the case there where you are too but if people don't want to have a funeral it's important that your family knows that.
Greg Barnsdale
00:53:08 - 00:53:30
If you want to be cremated or if you want to have your organs donated or any of those sorts of things unless those conversations are meaningfully had it's going to cause stress at the time of the death and it's so easy to resolve that just by being I guess, a little more courageous and having the conversations while the opportunity exists.
Victoria Volk
00:53:30 - 00:53:39
What are the topics that generally people avoid like the plague? Politics, religion, death. Right?
Greg Barnsdale
00:53:39 - 00:53:39
Yes.
Victoria Volk
00:53:39 - 00:54:07
And so you're not telling people if you don't want a funeral. You're probably not telling people, oh, I'm not this religion anymore. I'm not this faith, or I've completely gone away from going to church. And this I'm choosing this other path, which is happening a lot more to a lot more people are leaving the church itself, regardless of what religious affiliation it is. And so that does change how you want to probably be buried and what kind of ceremony you're wanting to have.
Victoria Volk
00:54:07 - 00:54:10
And again, you wanna have your say.
Greg Barnsdale
00:54:11 - 00:54:11
Yeah.
Victoria Volk
00:54:11 - 00:54:22
You can't have it after you're dead, so you might wanna have those conversations as soon as possible because as we've talked about on this podcast, you don't know how much time you have.
Greg Barnsdale
00:54:22 - 00:54:23
Yeah.
Victoria Volk
00:54:23 - 00:54:54
You think you have more time, but that's not necessarily the case. And now that we've depressed everybody with that sobering thought, which I hope just prompts people to action. That's really what this you know, why I wanted to have you on is to share your story and also to, you know, maybe light a fire under all of our butts to get our act together. And so thank you so much for sharing, your wisdom and your knowledge with us today. And where can people find your book?
Greg Barnsdale
00:54:55 - 00:55:16
The easiest place to find my book is through my website donotignoreyourmortality.com and on all the pages are reminders as to where people can buy it. But it's available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble. It's available in physical paperback form, audiobook and ebook and in all the major retailers.
Victoria Volk
00:55:18 - 00:55:25
Amazing. And thank you again for being here. Is there anything else you would like to share? Where can people where are you on social? Are you on social media at all?
Greg Barnsdale
00:55:25 - 00:56:37
Yes. Yes. I am that actually this was another quick interesting point that I'll briefly mention to you 2 days before my brain surgery my stepdaughter says to me Greg we should take that video that you recorded just after you told mom you had a brain tumor the Celine Dion moment I went out to the truck we were gonna go to the mall to pick up whatever to kind of clear our minds after I told her I had a brain tumor and both of us assumed it was terminal because it was Monday morning, remember, that she was going to come with me to see this ear nose and throat specialist where he said don't worry about it, Greg, it's likely an acoustic neuroma and it's non-cancerous. So that relieved us immensely. But on that Saturday morning about, I don't know, half an hour or an hour after I told her I thought sitting in the truck waiting for her to come out I would do a little recording on my iPhone not knowing if I would ever share it so I just explained I just told my wife that I had a brain tumor and if it's cancerous I've got some very serious decisions to make and that's really all I said it was very brief so that's what my stepdaughter wanted to put on TikTok and we did and it blew up It's now been viewed over 1,700,000 times.
Victoria Volk
00:56:37 - 00:57:00
Wow. I don't have TikTok, but my daughter does, and she's always showing me different things on there. But, yeah, I mean and that's a great way to get your this message out. I mean, if people are listening to that, I imagine they're wanna follow-up and hear how your story played out. And did that give you some traction in sharing this message?
Greg Barnsdale
00:57:00 - 00:57:38
Well, it did. It didn't result in a lot of, book sales, but it resulted in a lot of a fair amount of attention. And I've added some other videos that that a whole supplement, this whole message of mine and I'm on all the other major platforms as well but on TikTok my handle or name is author mortality and anybody will see Greg Barnsdale on there in the various videos but yes I'm on LinkedIn I'm on YouTube and Facebook etcetera and if so if anybody does a search for do not ignore your mortality and my name Greg Barnsdale that they'll see me.
Victoria Volk
00:57:39 - 00:57:42
And I will put the links in the show notes for people to get to connect with you as well.
Greg Barnsdale
00:57:42 - 00:57:42
Thank you.
Victoria Volk
00:57:42 - 00:58:08
And thank you so much for your time today and sharing. I enjoyed this conversation and I, the one action I will do today, I will do this today, I will take out my folder with all of my documents, which is in the safe, and I will take it out as a reminder to myself to get crack a lacking.
Greg Barnsdale
00:58:09 - 00:58:10
Good. Good for you.
Victoria Volk
00:58:10 - 00:58:13
Thank you for lighting the fire under my butt today.
Greg Barnsdale
00:58:14 - 00:58:16
You're welcome. Thanks for having me.
Victoria Volk
00:58:16 - 00:58:21
And remember, when you unleash your heart, you unleash your life. Much love.