When grappling with profound loss; it's during these times that we look to our friends for comfort, only to realize that some may have taken a step back just when we needed them most.
If you've ever felt let down by the people you expected to be there for you during tough times, this discussion is for you.
In this episode, we explore:
- The complexity of grief and how it can affect relationships.
- How friends may struggle with their own emotions or uncertainty on how to support us.
- The importance of clear communication about what support looks like for YOU.
- Finding additional sources of comfort beyond your immediate circle.
Grief is tough. It tests bonds and bends emotions. But it also teaches us about resilience, compassion, and the true strength of our connections.
It's crucial then to communicate openly—expressing what form of support you're seeking can bridge gaps and foster understanding. Yet it’s equally important to temper those expectations because not all friendships are built for stormy weather.
Remember: Your worth isn't measured by others' capacity to stay beside you in your darkest hours. As you wade through grief's currents, know that it’s okay if some relationships drift away—it opens space for growth and new connections.
As for those who do stand by you? Cherish them—they are your lighthouses in life’s storms.
RESOURCES:
Early episodes that may interest you...
_______
NEED HELP?
- National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
- Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor
If you are struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, free resources are available HERE.
CONNECT WITH VICTORIA:
Support the Show.
This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.
Would you like to join the mission of Grieving Voices in normalizing grief and supporting hurting hearts everywhere? Become a supporter of the show HERE.
Victoria Volk
00:00:03 - 00:00:16
Hello. Hello. Thank you for tuning in to Grieving Voices. I am your host, Victoria V. And today, we'll explore a question that many of us may grapple with during times of grief and loss.
Victoria Volk
00:00:17 - 00:01:06
The question we'll be digging into today is, I am grieving the devastating loss of my sister, among other things, and I feel like some of my friends are becoming distant. Why aren't they supporting me? So we're just gonna dive right into the answer for today's episode, which is about feeling ghosted in your grief, and why some friends might become distant and why they don't support you. When we experience loss and grief, it can be incredibly challenging to navigate our relationships, particularly with friends. It's not uncommon to feel a sense of disappointment or confusion when we perceive that our friends are becoming distant or not providing the support that we had hoped for.
Victoria Volk
00:01:06 - 00:01:47
It's important to remember that everyone processes grief differently. While some friends may naturally step up and offer support, others may struggle to know how to navigate this unfamiliar territory. And remember, a large part of why I created this podcast is to educate because most of us are raised with myths and misinformation about grief. And to learn more about what I mean, I encourage you to check out the first ten episodes of this podcast where I share all about the misinformation about grief we grow up with and bring into adulthood. And with this in mind, it's helpful to approach these situations with empathy and understanding.
Victoria Volk
00:01:48 - 00:02:33
One possible reason for your friend's distance could be their own comfort with grief. Society often struggles to openly discuss and address the topic of loss, which can lead to friends feeling ill-equipped or unsure of how to provide support. It's also possible that they may be avoiding the topic out of fear of saying the wrong thing or making things worse. It could also be bringing up some of their own grief long buried that they may not have given much thought about until lately. To not feel their own pain, they disengage themselves from anything that activates those long ago buried emotions that they just as soon as prefer to forget about.
Victoria Volk
00:02:34 - 00:02:59
Additionally, people have their own lives and challenges they may be facing. It's important to recognize that your friends may be dealing with their own personal struggles, which could be impacting their ability to offer support at this time. It doesn't mean they care any less about you. It's just that they may be managing their own emotional load. Communication is key in navigating these situations.
Victoria Volk
00:03:01 - 00:03:41
It's important to express your feelings and needs to your friends in a gentle and open manner. Letting them know that you appreciate their friendship and would value their support during this difficult time can help bridge the gap and foster understanding. However, it's also important to manage your expectations. Not everyone can provide the level of support you desire or need. It's essential to seek out additional sources of support, such as support groups, therapy, or other individuals who have experienced similar losses or who have the capacity to hold space for you and the however you feel you need.
Victoria Volk
00:03:42 - 00:04:17
These resources can provide the understanding and validation you may be seeking. And lastly, it's crucial to remember that friendships evolve and change over time. While it can be painful to see a sense of distance from friends during times of grief, it's possible that these changes are a natural part of the ebb and flow of relationships. This doesn't mean that the friendship is over or that it's reflection of your worth. It's simply a reminder that friendships, like people, are dynamic and subject to change.
Victoria Volk
00:04:19 - 00:05:03
In conclusion, if you feel like some of your friends are becoming distant and not providing the support you desire, it's important to approach the situation again with empathy, understanding, and open communication. Recognize that everyone process their grief differently and that your friends may be dealing with their own challenges. And seeking out additional sources of support and being open to the evolution of friendships over time can help ease the pain of those relationships changing. So that concludes today's episode, short, sweet, and to the point. I hope this discussion has provided some insights and guidance as you navigate the complexities of friendship during times of grief.
Victoria Volk
00:05:04 - 00:05:35
If you found it helpful, I'd be so grateful if you shared it or took a minute to leave a review or rate it on Apple Itunes or a quick star rating on Spotify as this helps others see that this podcast is worth a listen and for others to find it as well. Additionally, please reach out if you have any further questions or topics you'd like me to explore. I thank you for joining me, and until next time, take care, and remember, when you unleash your heart, you unleash your life. Much love.