Grieving Voices

Seven Takeaways From 2023

January 02, 2024 Victoria V Season 4 Episode 175
Seven Takeaways From 2023
Grieving Voices
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Grieving Voices
Seven Takeaways From 2023
Jan 02, 2024 Season 4 Episode 175
Victoria V

Send Victoria a text message!

In a world constantly throwing curveballs our way, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. But what if we could find wisdom in unexpected places?

In this week's episode, I share some personal key takeaways from my 2023 life experience that might just inspire you to view your daily challenges through a new lens.

From never underestimating the power of saving pennies to your future feeling like it could come down to a coin toss, there are lessons weaved through all of our life's experiences - including parenting!

Children have this remarkable ability to bounce back from setbacks with an enviable positivity—something adults often struggle with. They can also be some of our best teachers, too! A couple of my favorite life takeaways come from my parenting experiences.

Additionally, through this week's episode, you will learn how persistence can pay off, not just in terms of goals or ambitions but also in terms of advocating for your health.  And that embracing authenticity, self-awareness, and looking at relationships as mirrors are all unexpected places we can gain wisdom.

It is my hope, that by the end of this week's episode, you'll feel inspired to learn more deeply about yourself, perhaps look at situations in your life with a renewed or fresh perspective, and be open to the learning that is always available to us. Whether the teachings happen through parenting, other relationships, courses, programs, mentors, or just plain old crappy situations, the opportunities to grow are boundless.

In 2024, may you discover more of what makes you amazing, the shadow parts that may need some healing and love, and what matters most to you. Remember: self-knowledge empowers us beyond others’ perceptions. 

RESOURCES:

_______

NEED HELP?

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
  • Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor

If you are struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, free resources are available HERE.

Support the Show.

This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.

Would you like to join the mission of Grieving Voices in normalizing grief and supporting hurting hearts everywhere? Become a supporter of the show HERE.


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Show Notes Transcript

Send Victoria a text message!

In a world constantly throwing curveballs our way, it's easy to feel overwhelmed. But what if we could find wisdom in unexpected places?

In this week's episode, I share some personal key takeaways from my 2023 life experience that might just inspire you to view your daily challenges through a new lens.

From never underestimating the power of saving pennies to your future feeling like it could come down to a coin toss, there are lessons weaved through all of our life's experiences - including parenting!

Children have this remarkable ability to bounce back from setbacks with an enviable positivity—something adults often struggle with. They can also be some of our best teachers, too! A couple of my favorite life takeaways come from my parenting experiences.

Additionally, through this week's episode, you will learn how persistence can pay off, not just in terms of goals or ambitions but also in terms of advocating for your health.  And that embracing authenticity, self-awareness, and looking at relationships as mirrors are all unexpected places we can gain wisdom.

It is my hope, that by the end of this week's episode, you'll feel inspired to learn more deeply about yourself, perhaps look at situations in your life with a renewed or fresh perspective, and be open to the learning that is always available to us. Whether the teachings happen through parenting, other relationships, courses, programs, mentors, or just plain old crappy situations, the opportunities to grow are boundless.

In 2024, may you discover more of what makes you amazing, the shadow parts that may need some healing and love, and what matters most to you. Remember: self-knowledge empowers us beyond others’ perceptions. 

RESOURCES:

_______

NEED HELP?

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
  • Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor

If you are struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, free resources are available HERE.

Support the Show.

This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.

Would you like to join the mission of Grieving Voices in normalizing grief and supporting hurting hearts everywhere? Become a supporter of the show HERE.


Victoria Volk
(00:00:03 - 00:00:18)
Hello. Hello. Thank you for tuning in to Grieving Voices, Voice, and Happy New Year. Happy 2023. I hope this coming year is filled with health and prosperity for you.

Victoria Volk
(00:00:19 - 00:00:58)
And today, I just wanted to share seven takeaways from 2023, and I'm just gonna dig right in. So this first takeaway and a nugget of wisdom it's from my 98-year-old aunt who passed away in early 2023. And the takeaway is change is money too. In a world where cash is becoming less and less king, where many places don't even take cash, which is mind-blowing to me. She managed to tuck away more than $20,000 over her lifetime in loose change.

Victoria Volk
(00:00:59 - 00:01:23)
She would keep it in her deep freeze in a coffee can. And, I guess when you've lived through the great depression and had nothing, you learn the value of saving and making every penny count. And, yeah, change is money too. Right? When I find a penny on the ground, I pick it up because all day long, you'll have good luck.

Victoria Volk
(00:01:23 - 00:01:30)
Right? But I always say to my kids, change is money too. Pennies are money too. It all adds up. Takeaway number 2.

Victoria Volk
(00:01:31 - 00:02:01)
Our kids can be our best teachers if we pay attention. And although I support my kids playing sports, I am not a parent with the mindset that sports are life. I believe the magic of who we are is in the mind, not in our physical abilities. But, anyway, even though my son didn't get to play much in basketball and mostly sat on the bench, he still showed up at practice every single day. He still put in the work.

Victoria Volk
(00:02:01 - 00:02:20)
And during the games, he was the loudest cheerleader for his teammates. He was the one who pumped everyone up, and I have zero doubts that his attitude made a difference. He didn't pout. He didn't whine or complain. He showed up as himself, which was enough.

Victoria Volk
(00:02:21 - 00:03:09)
As adults, things don't always go according to plan or how we hope, but how we respond to life's challenges reveals to us where we may have some growth opportunity. It's not lost on me that just the year before, my son had had a life-changing accident that had caused a massive shift in his attitude. And he couldn't play football that same year, which he loved, but he showed up anyway for his team as their water boy. So just as kids go through adversity and they often will learn and grow, as adults, we too can see challenges as an opportunity to grow and evolve or allow them to beat us down. So When adversity comes your child's way, just be an observer.

Victoria Volk
(00:03:09 - 00:03:35)
 See how they respond. Because if they're responding in a way that isn't necessarily in a growth trajectory, maybe there's something there for you to learn. What are you emulating for your children in terms of how you respond to life's challenges? Because they are always watching. They were always listening, and they are always observing.

Victoria Volk
(00:03:38 - 00:03:59)
Takeaway number 3. Never give up on a mission. One of my missions was to become a certified excuse me. Certified veteran-owned small business. That's a mouthful. Since I had started the Unleashed Heart, in January 2019, which hello.

Victoria Volk
(00:03:59 - 00:04:30)
My 5 year anniversary is coming up on the 19th., It was a goal of mine since then, since I started this business. It took 4 years, but I accomplished just that in January of this year. One of the main reasons it took so long was partly my own mental blocks and beliefs around how hard or arduous I believed and viewed getting it done, which it was it's a lot of paperwork. And the process just seemed very daunting to me.

Victoria Volk
(00:04:31 - 00:05:06)
However, President Biden had actually passed some sort of bill or something. I can't recall right now what it was, but that made the process easier and more streamlined. And literally in one day, I had the information submitted and heard back within a few days that it was a done deal. So I am a certified veteran-owned small business, so that's pretty awesome. But before we dive into takeaway number 4, if you need some support in completing a mission, perhaps Magicmind may be for you.

Victoria Volk
(00:05:07 - 00:05:42)
Magicmind is sponsoring this episode. And as a user myself, this little 2 ounce shot of green magic that helps me get into a 7 hour flow state. It helps you dial in on what you're setting out to get it to accomplish with lion's mane mushroom, cytocholine, and more for focus, cordyceps mushroom, and ceremonial matcha, and more for energy, and ashwagandha and turmeric and even more for less stress. You'll be wondering where it's been all your life. Listeners of Grieving Voices can now get an exclusive offer.

Victoria Volk
(00:05:43 - 00:06:03)
Head to magicmind.com/grievingvoices, and enter the code grieving voices at checkout for 20% off your order. Yes. You heard that right. 20% off just for being a part of my podcast community. And this month in January, they're also launching in all sprouts markets.

Victoria Volk
(00:06:04 - 00:06:28)
Why settle for the ordinary when you can experience the extraordinary with MagicMind?, Elevate your mind, elevate your life. Visit magicmind.com/jangrieving voices and use the code grieving voices to save 20% on a one-time purchase or even more when you choose the subscription option. The link is in the show notes. Alright.

Victoria Volk
(00:06:28 - 00:06:49)
So takeaway number 4, be yourself. Everyone else is taken. This gem is another takeaway from an experience with my son. He had applied for a nursing scholarship program at a university. And of the over 100 applicants, he was chosen as an alternate.

Victoria Volk
(00:06:50 - 00:07:22)
He is still in that program, but the only the one thing I had told him when he was being interviewed was to be himself. I knew the growth he had had in the year prior set him up for that day, and he learned so much about life and himself. And our relationship exponentially improved, including our communication. And being interviewed by that panel for the scholarship didn't require him to embellish or stretch any truth. Surely, he could have done that, but stating why he was there, being honest, and sharing from his heart was all that was required.

Victoria Volk
(00:07:23 - 00:08:08)
I too have found that the more I lean into the fact that who I am is enough, that I don't have to change myself for the approval of others, and that knowing that what I have to offer the world and having and expressing passion for my endeavors is enough. The world can feel like 1 giant popularity contest, particularly in social structures of work, relationships, and certainly in business. However, imagine the freedom of just being yourself and that being enough. That may seem naive and Pollyanna of me, but rejection is a wound most of us are familiar with; it doesn't feel good. And we carry that wound - often for a lifetime.

Victoria Volk
(00:08:09 - 00:08:31)
So, again, be yourself. Those who are meant to be in your life will be, and those who aren't will fade into the background. Which brings me to takeaway number 5. No one will ever care more about you and your health and body more than you. Advocating for yourself is self-care.

Victoria Volk
(00:08:32 - 00:08:58)
This one is still a little raw for me. I'm still processing the experience I had with my health for the majority of 2023. Basically, for 10 months straight, I felt like I was in a fight or flight state, feeling like I was in medical limbo. It started with a mammogram in early February. It would take 10 months for me to get a clear-cut answer as to whether or not I had breast cancer.

Victoria Volk
(00:08:59 - 00:09:43)
I felt like my life came down to the flip of a coin. I had gotten a BI-RADS 3, probably benign result, which just google it. You'll find the answer, what that really is, because there's a scale they have. But, however, after even a follow-up 3 months later, after and after my one breast was becoming larger than the other, it was still not determined what the lumps, which I had 1 in each breast, actually were. In fact, 3 months later, after pushing for a second opinion reading of the radiology which, hello, is a patient's right, and I felt shamed for wanting and pushing for it.

Victoria Volk
(00:09:43 - 00:10:13)
It still could not be determined by that 2nd radiologist what the lumps actually were. It would take another 6 months in going to a different facility with different and better equipment. In my opinion, after seeing the difference side by side that I got the clear answers I was seeking and that I felt confident in those answers. And that's really all I wanted. I wanted to feel confident in the results, and I didn't feel confident.

Victoria Volk
(00:10:14 - 00:10:47)
Because number 1, no one explained anything. Number 2, they were unclear. And 3, having dense breasts and knowing the changes I had experienced only added to my concern. And I have to give a shout out to the VA and my doctor and the care that was given to me and having my concerns listened to. Without my VA doctor being on board with my concerns, validating that there was something there that should be looked into further, I would probably still feel like my future was down to the flip of a coin.

Victoria Volk
(00:10:48 - 00:11:32)
I can't even put into words the mind fuck that 2023 was for me because of this. But it was because of this experience that I decided to take my health into my own hands and control what I could control. If I was going to have cancer, I wanted my body to be prepared for a fight. I got myself a nutrition and fitness coach, and in 3 months, transformed my relationship with food, learned all about macros, the importance of protein, particularly how women don't eat near enough, and I definitely wasn't eating near enough, and lost a total of 15 inches even though I only lost 5 pounds. But I felt the strongest I had in years.

Victoria Volk
(00:11:33 - 00:12:06)
I'm still working with that coach, and I'm currently in a cut, which hasn't gone as I hoped as I had some setbacks. Again, coming back to the whole mind fuck this whole ordeal was. So with the holidays behind me, I'm getting back on track, and that feels good. I feel like I can go into 2024 with this whole deal behind me, but I want to share that as I was going through breast cancer. This whole scare of it being just a mere possibility.

Victoria Volk
(00:12:07 - 00:12:34)
2 of my previous podcast guests had found out that they did and do have breast cancer. Lindsay Joy and Maha Bodi. Please go check out their GoFundMe links in the show notes. Lindsay Joy has made it to the other side of her treatment, and Maha is just at the start of her cancer journey. When I found out about Maha's diagnosis just in the last 2 weeks, I found myself going into warrior mode.

Victoria Volk
(00:12:34 - 00:13:20)
I realized that I had prepared myself for the worst news of my life. And when I received the good news, it was as if that warrior energy had nowhere to go. I've had to recognize how my experience from the situation or how my experience was influencing how I was showing up in conversation with. Only in zooming out from the situation have I been able to see that I still have some healing to do around that whole experience. It turns out when you feel like you're preparing for something not good, when your intuition and gut tells you something isn't right, but then that turns out to be wrong even in the best way, it screws you up a little.

Victoria Volk
(00:13:21 - 00:13:48)
So I've been feeling a bit out of sorts lately, struggling with how can I ever learn to trust my intuition again when I had it so wrong, and that's where I'm working to heal? Meanwhile, someone I know 2,000 miles away has been completely blindsided. Some people may ask, why me? Here I sit wondering in some weird fucked up way. Why not me?

Victoria Volk
(00:13:49 - 00:14:19)
So, yeah, that really did a number on me, and I've been leaning on the tools in my toolbox. But the one thing that has helped me most is having the awareness around it all. You can't change what you don't acknowledge, which brings me to takeaway number 6, relationships are mirrors. When my girls fight like cats and dogs, I remind them that friends will come and go, but you always have your sister. Friendships are just playing fucking hard sometimes.

Victoria Volk
(00:14:19 - 00:14:42)
People will disappoint you. People will not show up how you need them to. Your triggers will show up as projections and fears, and others will respond. It's the way of the world. What I didn't understand until I dove headfirst into human design later in 2023 is that as a manifestor type, I'm always initiating others.

Victoria Volk
(00:14:42 - 00:15:00)
Always. Manifestors are here as the initiators. It's not a surprise to me that I find myself initiating transformation in the lives of others as that relates to their grief and emotional stories. I was built for this work. It is the energy I chose when I came into this physical body.

Victoria Volk
(00:15:01 - 00:15:47)
I'm here to initiate change and action and bring ideas and things into physical form. This is not an energy I can turn off. It just happens, and it just is. Discovering this about myself and having this newfound awareness, reflecting and looking within helped me to recognize where this was causing suffering in my life within the context of relationships. It wasn't the initiating that was causing the suffering being who I am, but rather not being conscious of it, not showing up to relationships without the conscious awareness of it is what was causing me unnecessary suffering because sometimes, others are simply not ready for it or just flat out reject it or me.

Victoria Volk
(00:15:47 - 00:16:28)
I am not here to respond like most of the world who are manifesting generators and generators. So having to wait to respond or approaching relationships from a place of wounding, which number 1, being rejection, which is a core wound for manifestors just because of how our energy works was only being mirrored back to me and showing me where I had my own inner work to do. I worked through this over the course of months. And when I came to a neutral place after only riding my emotional authority wave for literal months, which will only make sense to you if you're familiar with human design. But if you're an emotional authority, hello.

Victoria Volk
(00:16:28 - 00:17:19)
I see you. But only after riding that wave and then using my strategy as a manifestor, which is to inform, did I feel emotional freedom? I was no longer approaching things from wounding, but rather a clearly communicated line in the sand that I would no longer be waiting to respond and that I would no longer be waiting to be wanted and included in those relationships. Relationships are a huge theme that I will be continuing to explore in 2024 as a manifestor because I've all already learned how valuable the information news when it's actually put into practice. I will continue to experiment with my strategy of informing and learning how I can be more aligned according to my energy type in all aspects of my life.

Victoria Volk
(00:17:20 - 00:17:40)
There's so much gold there to learn and discover. I Highly recommend checking out your human design. And if you're ready, dig deep and see how it can help you better understand yourself and others you know and love. And there will be a link in the show notes to that. And finally, takeaway number 7.

Victoria Volk
(00:17:41 - 00:18:13)
On the note of awareness, if there's something you want to learn, there's a program, course, or mentor for it. Seek out the teachings for the support. In 2023, I got a speaking coach to help me learn how to write a captivating speech and become a better presenter and speaker because one of my goals is to do more public speaking. Again, this comes back to my strategy as a manifestor, which is to inform. I get to inform through this podcast, through online content, and the work I do with clients.

Victoria Volk
(00:18:14 - 00:18:44)
Public speaking is just another avenue where I get to align my life with my strategy to inform. I've also taken a few other programs that are helping me to explore my wishing more deeply because hello. I really got it wrong, so I'm trying to learn more about that. I've also been reading books on human design and a program for manifestors specifically. And I'm also, exploring other teachings to help me build my authority as a grief expert.

Victoria Volk
(00:18:46 - 00:19:06)
We live in an amazing time where information is literally at our fingertips. I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I have never understood boredom. But with 3 thinking themes in my Youmap and a thirst for knowledge and information. In my mind, there is always more to learn.

Victoria Volk
(00:19:06 - 00:19:57)
And with my manifestor energy, there's always something to do even if it's meditating and learning to just be, which is also something I intend to incorporate more back into my life in 2024. Meditation is amazing for getting to a neutral state. And as an emotional type, it behooves me to empower myself in that department. So these are my takeaways, my 7 takeaways from 2023, some a bit heavy, some a bit lighter. But I think all of them are little golden nuggets of pieces that I've personally taken away, through my 2023 experience and have learned from and will continue to learn from moving forward into 2024.

Victoria Volk
(00:19:58 - 00:20:39)
So in the show notes, you will find, information for the sponsor for Magicmind. You will find the GoFundMe for Lindsay Joy and Maha Bodi. There will also be a link to learn your human design and also a link to Youmap information. I just briefly touched on the Youmap, but the thing is the more you know yourself, the less you look to others to tell you who you are. So whether that is through Youmap, through human design, through all of these things that are available this information available at your fingertips to help you to better understand yourself.

Victoria Volk
(00:20:40 - 00:21:03)
And that's actually been one of my missions probably since about 2014 to really understand myself, which is an ongoing process. And I don't imagine I'll be stopping anytime soon. So thank you for listening to this week's episode., I hope you found it helpful. I hope you found it inspirational.

Victoria Volk
(00:21:04 - 00:21:39)
Maybe some pieces resonated with you that, you'd like to share with me. I would love for you as a listener to inform me. If you found this helpful or any other episode for that matter, it is my service to you in doing this, and it lights me up. And so thank you so much for being here, for listening in 2023, for sharing the episodes if you did, for leaving a review if you found it bowl. And remember, when you unleash your heart, you unleash your life.