Grieving Voices

What It's Like Working With Me

July 11, 2023 Victoria V Season 4 Episode 150
Grieving Voices
What It's Like Working With Me
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Show Notes Transcript

In today's episode, you will learn what I bring to the table when choosing to work with me. I use aspects of my YouMap® to illustrate what's in it for you as a client and more.

Today, there are far more options for grief support than were available five, ten years ago, and beyond. There are several training programs online that one can take to work with grievers, hang up their virtual shingles, and work with clients in exchange for money. However, not all grief coaches have done their own deep dive into their past losses and trauma, making it challenging to know who to trust, where to look, or where to start.

By the end of today's episode, you will learn the specific skill set I bring to my work with clients and why it matters. Being the only certified grief specialist (who continues to apply the tools and framework I share with clients) and YouMap® coach worldwide does have its perks. Want to learn what they are? Check out this episode!

If you'd like to learn more about YouMap® and Do Grief Differently™️, check out the links below. Click HERE to schedule a no-obligation, free consultation!

I will not tell you how you should feel because you already know. - Me




  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
  • Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor

If you are struggling with grief due to any of the 40+ losses, free resources are available HERE.

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Support the show

This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️, my twelve-week, one-on-one, in-person/online program for grievers who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. Click here to learn new tools, grief education, and the only evidence-based method for moving beyond the pain of grief.

Would you like to join the mission of Grieving Voices in normalizing grief and supporting hurting hearts everywhere? Become a supporter of the show HERE.

Victoria Volk: This episode is sponsored by Do Grief Differently™️. My twelve-week in-person or online program that helps grieving who have suffered any type of loss to feel better. In Do Grief Differently™️, you learn new tools, education, and a method you can utilize the rest of your life. In this program and with my guidance, you remove the pain of grief. The sadness will always be there because even in complicated relationships, we love, but it's the pain of grief that keeps us stuck.

Victoria Volk: Hey, Hey, Hey. Thank you for tuning in. It's another episode of grieving voices, and this is actually episode 150. And today, I'm doing something a little different that I've not done yet on the podcast, and that is to talk a little bit about what it's like working with me. And I'm going to start with some Youmap stuff. And if you're not familiar with Youmap, check out the show notes because I have a link to my website where it has more information on what I'm talking about. So I'm just gonna give a very brief overview of what my Youmap is in this episode, but I do have another episode I'm planning to put out in the coming weeks which is all about the importance of knowing yourself because if there's anything I've learned through my own Youmap and working with other clients and their Youmap is that the more you know yourself, the less you look to others to tell you who you are and I am sure listening to this. You have plenty of people who have told you who you are in your lifetime and the grief that that's probably caused you. So be on the lookout for that episode coming up. 

Victoria Volk: However, today, what it's like working with me. Let's start there. So I'm gonna start out actually with my number one strength and which is found by going through the Clifton Strengthsfinder, which is a part of the Youmap, that is one of the assessments. And the Youmap actually is just for a brief overview, is a holistic assessment profile and framework that is a foundation of self-awareness for endless personal and professional use. And the framework is based on four key pillars of view. So the first being your strengths. And this is the "How". This is what we prioritize. It's either our relationship building, influencing others, getting results or thinking. Strength explain how we work. 

Victoria Volk: Our values is pillar two, and this explains why we work. So values explain our why based on what's most important to us. 

Victoria Volk: Pillar three is all about skills. It's what we like doing. What skills are we motivated to spend our time using? 

Victoria Volk: And the fourth pillar is personality. It explains our interests, who we are. Who are we? Are we a blend of the doer, the thinker, the creator, the helper, the persuader, or the organizer? And so all of these together combined create what is called the Youmap. And the Youmap radically reduces the time it takes me to get to know my clients who go through my program, which includes the Youmap and Do Grief Differently, the twelve-week one on one program.

Victoria Volk: And I included this, the Youmap program because it was actually, to me, what was missing in the grief work I was doing with clients. And so for me personally to learn my Youmap was life-affirming. My number one strength is empathy. And empathy is a relationship-building theme. And according to Youmap, it is how we'd define it. You can sense the emotions of others, feel what they are feeling, see the world through their eyes. You hear unvoiced questions, anticipate their needs. For this reason, others are drawn to you. So the thing about empathy and all strengths for that matter, there's thirty two strengths in the Clifton Strengthsfinder, but they all have, like, healthy or productive descriptor words, but then there's also unhealthy or barrier descriptor words. And so if I'm using my empathy well, my strength of empathy. I create trust. It brings healing. I know just what to say or do. I can customize my approach to others. But if I'm overusing empathy, I can appear to be soft, or as a child, a crybaby, I can be moody. And seem overly involved, which actually was a problem for me many years ago. I would overuse empathy and it would be to my dutch treatment because I was always there for other people and yet it seemed like when I needed someone there, for me, emotionally, people were unavailable, and I had some resentment around that. And maybe listening to this, you can relate to that. When you have the strength of empathy, people are drawn to you because you're like the counselor in their back pocket. However, if without boundaries, without knowing yourself, this, you can see where this would create some issues for your life, which it did for me. So that's the empathy strength. 

Victoria Volk: The other relationship-building strength that I bring in working with my clients is connectedness. And that's how I build relationships with my clients is through connectedness because I'm able to connect the dots of what they're sharing with me. And the definition for connectedness is having faith in the links between all things. Like, we are all connected. You believe there are a few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason. You are a bridge builder among people who share differences. And so healthy descriptors of the connectedness theme would be spiritual. Doesn't sweat the small stuff, has strong faith, always looking at the big picture, helps others see purpose. And an overuse of connectedness would come off as being passive or naive or too idealistic or wishy-washy, which I've been accused of being naive in the past. 

Victoria Volk: And so you can see where these are just two strengths I'm talking about that are my strengths. But, you know, these are just two. Right? But we have five in our Yoump that we that combine to create strength assessment piece of the Youmap. Okay? But there's thirty two that you can have and there's different combinations. And I can't remember the exact statistics. I mean, one in like a billion people have the same top five strengths as you if you're listening to this. So we literally are snowflakes people. So anyway, using empathy and connectedness, this is how I build the relationships with my clients.

Victoria Volk: My other three strengths are input, intellection, and strategic, which are all thinking strengths. And so using those three, that's how I absorb and analyze information to inform better decisions. Now for my clients, that means asking inquisitive and curious questions. Sometimes probing questions. To facilitate deeper reflection of my clients. And again, I'll get more into the strengths and values and skills and personality in that future episode. 

Victoria Volk: But today, I wanna tell you why this matters in working with me. I am not going to tell you how you should feel because you already know. But I will be able to feel into and sense how you feel, again, with my strength of empathy and connectedness often by your body language alone, or your tone. It's those nuances of communication that I picked up personally as a child that became a necessity in an environment of chaos, and heartbreak, and extreme highs and lows of emotions that were exhibited by those around me. Also, I will challenge you. To see your experiences and yourself differently. This will naturally unfold to in the work that we do together. However, you'll feel supported in the process. For some people, I may be the very first person who truly listens and hears you, and allows you to be a safe space - to be open and honest. As I briefly mentioned, through my strength of connectedness. I help clients connect the dots and patterns of the past to the present. And it's one of my superpowers in grief coaching. But these themes emerge to me and often clients have aha moments and revelations that even surprised them. And also, I'm laid back and easygoing, but I hold my clients accountable to themselves in a loving way. I'm all in with my clients and I expect them to be also that for themselves. I know I'm not the grief coach for everyone and each person has to discern that for themselves. But that's also hard to do when you don't know yourself, which is greatly affected by grief and overwhelming emotion. It's really hard to know what you need or where to start. If you value honesty, growth, inner harmony, compassion, authenticity, and curiosity, I'd say we're a good fit to work together.

Victoria Volk: If you felt unsafe to express your emotions honestly most of your life, I'd again say we're a good fit. And if you've felt misunderstood most of your life, then I'd say you'd get a lot more than grief coaching in working with me because I am the only certified grief specialist and Youmap coach in the world. So if that hasn't convinced you yet, I highly encourage you to schedule a free consultation with me. I will put a link in the show notes if you are interested and diving deeper into your past and healing and grief and understanding yourself and knowing yourself better and where you need boundaries and where you've never had them and all of that goodness and more. And in a specific time frame in working with me, twelve weeks, I can guarantee that from week one to week twelve, you will have softened your heart and transformed your life. And I say you because that is the truth. You are doing the work. I am just holding space. I am the facilitator. And if you feel that I am a good fit for you, then I encourage you to reach out and learn more. And in the meantime, remember, when you unleash your heart, you unleash your life. Much love.